BREAKING LIKE THE WIND
Smash The Gaff Up & Defecate On The Carpets!

Smash The Gaff Up & Defecate On The Carpets!

Another strange day in downtown Doomsville. While the shortcomings of White Hart Lane’s pitch size have suddenly been identified, Martin Cloake defended the THST in the Haringey Independent. His argument that the Trust isn’t a waste of space, on the surface appears extremely rational. But as I read it, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a recent ‘Meet The ... Read More »

Collateral Damage

Collateral Damage

There are two ways to review a performance, a defeat such as that. The obvious one being to pick at the bones of the players and the manager, in attempt to identify what actually happened. But you don’t need a forensic scientist to work out what happened yesterday afternoon. An apology in advance if you were expecting player ratings. If ... Read More »

Prematch Prattle

Prematch Prattle

Yachtsman was a long, long time poster who was one the very first comfortable enough to share his always considered thoughts, at some considerable length. He was always worth reading and will be sorely missed. I’d like to take two extracts from his posts and deliberately place them in the wrong chronological order. The hound died yesterday (peacefully, after a ... Read More »

Has Your Rabona Gone Down Yet?

Has Your Rabona Gone Down Yet?

My unceasing hope is that people that write footballers off without giving them a fair go are unrepresentative. For every sullen oaf that grunts out a “he’s sh*t” based upon less than sparse evidence – there might be a hundred rational people, waiting to see what time and opportunity might bring. Last night’s opposition weren’t great. In fact, they may ... Read More »

Poch Hints

Poch Hints

The kiss of death has been softly planted by Pochettino. Jan is an important player for Tottenham and for us. But a lot of rumours and information and different situations, and for me it’s easy because I don’t read it. Never.” So he’s gone in January then. The words important and player are only ever wheeled out together in the ... Read More »

Brace Yourself

Brace Yourself

The last two words Mrs Hotspur (pictured above) heard before our marriage was consumated, in a moonlit bus shelter on the A148, just outside West Runton. On an equally depressing note, The People are running with the tale that Ali Ahamada, the Toulouse goalkeeper has been not only targeted but the player’s agent spoken to by Spurs. The suggestion being ... Read More »

Breaking Stale News

Breaking Stale News

Good afternoon where you are. I am in a fake Irish pub, which in complete compliance of Murphy’s Law; being approximately 300 times better than an actual Irish pub. For one, the pints are half the price, and two, you don’t have to actually get on more than a bus to walk through the door of the gaff. Not to ... Read More »

A Tin Of Room Temperature Piss Speaks

A Tin Of Room Temperature Piss Speaks

It never rains but it pours when Tim Sherwood opens his bladder. The biggest Tottenham fan you’ll ever meet© has to be one the most uninformed, divisive pieces of cancerous muck to have ever ‘graced’ the beautiful game. Certainly since Arry Redschnapps. The UNEMPLOYABLE Sherwood told a limited BT Sport audience, who were clearly too stoopid to simply watch the ... Read More »

Angst Riddled Analysis

Angst Riddled Analysis

Funny how the human brain functions. Like knowing you’re in a plane that is one hundred percent, absolutley going to crash into a mountain, yet a voice in your head rapidly rationalises how by some stroke of utterly impossible luck, you’ll survive. So if I told you that – despite getting wallopped yet again by City, for much of the ... Read More »

Late Tests For Two

Late Tests For Two

City away. It’s enough to make you turn to drink. To add to the probable/possible* (*please delete as appropriate) woe of it all, both Chadders and Hugo are subject to late fitness tests, according to Physioroom.com. City have scored 14 and conceded 7. We’ve scored 9 and also conceded …7. You don’t need to be a brain surgeon to work ... Read More »

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