The news that the Fermilab particle accelerator has detected a mass anomaly in the W Bosun and indicates our whole physical understanding of the universe is wrong comes as no surprise to Spurs fans. The multiple realities of quantum mechanics is stuff they learnt in primary school when looking at our transfer policy. We all knew alternate realities exist because something has to explain how Daniel Levy does business for players.
Let’s just look at this summer as an example. In our reality, the sane and balanced world of the genuine football fan, one hour after the window opens Spurs announce they have closed the deal on Dejan Kulusevski.
Such an outcome is definitely not rocket science.
Forget the up and down of the situation, from top and bottom this signing has no strangeness and plenty of charm. The player is a star for us, we have months in which to conclude a deal and all that needs to be done is for Daniel to put the cash on the table when the window opens. He has more than justified the price and even looking at the minutiae under a microscope, it’s a fantastic deal.
In our world, the deal is already done and our management team should be far down the road on negotiations for the other players we must have. Yet we all understand the quantum mechanics of the situation and despite the gravity of our position who is going to bet against Daniel haggling over the price? Who is prepared to say that come the last day of the window the deal still hasn’t been done?
This deal is critical to affirming that THFC is actually a serious football club in reality. If the deal is not done as soon as the window opens then we are right to ask just which reality does our chairman inhabit?
But it gets worse.
According to quantum physics, not only are there infinite realities but all of them exist and have already existed. In other words, it is possible that Daniel has already blown the deal. That is according to the Exponential Negative Initiative Causation theory favoured by some cats who are prepared to think outside of the box. According to ENIC, it’s the physical reality of stadiums and training centers which make a football club great.
And somewhere out there in the multiple realities of quantum physics you just know that a bespoke hotel spa facility scores a hatrick in a Champions League final.
The truth is that it is all madness and there is only one reality that matters and that is on the pitch with the players we need. In Dejan Kulusevski
there cannot be a clearer test of THFC as a credible football club. If Dejan is not a fully signed up Spurs player, preferably on a long contract, within 24 hours of the window opening, then Daniel Levy has to be sacked.
That’s our reality, that’s our truth, that’s our challenge and we don’t care which universe Levy is in or from, if he can’t do this deal instantly then he proves beyond all doubt that he is not competent to run our club.