Date: 10th July 2018 at 7:33am
Written by:

Harry Kane’s bank job is all set.

It’s the Italian Job, but set in Russia opposed to Italy.

Can I be Mr Bridger, can I, can I?!

The BBC say that Harry Kane’s face will feature on a limited run of five pound notes should England beat Croatia and make it through to the World Cup final, courtesy of micro engraver Graham Short.

“I’ll zig-zag around Britain, going over to Norwich and the Midlands, Sheffield, Manchester and after awhile I’ll end up in north Yorkshire,” Graham told BBC Hereford and Worcester.

“As I did with the Jane Austen, I’ll go into a cafe and buy a sandwich or maybe a newspaper.”

Whilst most of us will be smiling warmly at the news, take care on your way down to the shops to see if you get one in your change.

Mr Short’s fivers with Jane Austen etched upon them are now said to be worth in the region of £50,000 each.

So far this Birmingham based boy has made nine notes with Kaneinho added to them.

Here’s what his Jane Austin looked like.

Christ only knows how Harry’s distinctive profile will turn out.

Charlie Croker: It’s a very difficult job and the only way to get through it is we all work together as a team. And that means you do everything I say.

 
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 8:58 am

    Nice to hear that President Macron is attending the France v Belgium game tonight.
    Solidarity from our French allies, eh? He might as well moon his buttocks at the UK.

  • Syd July 10, 2018 at 8:40 am

    Off home lads

  • dilly July 10, 2018 at 8:39 am

    No Sterling witch hunt please!

    • Steven Hawkins Football Boots July 10, 2018 at 8:59 am

      Dilly, the guy is a liability.

      Dier was even defending him in a press conference.

      Everybody’s on about the need for sterling to score.

      No there is no need.

      All he has to do is pass the fucking ball to the man up top who CAN score fucking goals.

      You can’t defend the indefensible.

      • Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 9:00 am

        The guy’s a diva. It’s all about him.

        What team?

        • Steven Hawkins Football Boots July 10, 2018 at 9:01 am

          Exactly.

          And sterling.

          Oh you meant sterling and not dilly?

          • Harry Hotspur July 10, 2018 at 9:05 am

            Sterling is junk.

            He’s Arron Lennon without the Prozac.

            No end product for a footballer is the killer.

            Game Over.

            Like getting into bed with a supermodel and discovering there’s nothing to stick it in.

          • Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 9:06 am

            I did. 😊

            High speed he may be, but going round in circles and not getting anywhere.

  • dilly July 10, 2018 at 8:37 am

    Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 7:27 am
    (Previous blog)
    Concerning Grealish, Villa are in financial problems. The longer he can wait, the more likely he can screw a lower price. Therefore if it happens it will be late in the window.

    It smells and likely to fail just like the Berahino fiasco repeating itself again expecting the Villa Board to capitulate by selling their prized asset they value at £30M on the cheap when dragging out negotiations to a point of collapse when everybody simply gets fed up and moves on. That said for fear of facing a backlash from their own fans if they sell Grealish on the cheap the Villa board are in a difficult position.

  • WitTank July 10, 2018 at 8:08 am

    If England get to the final I’m getting HH etched on my arse!

    • Gus July 10, 2018 at 8:13 am

      Or HK?

    • Syd July 10, 2018 at 8:31 am

      Photos please.

    • Harry Hotspur July 10, 2018 at 8:36 am

      Heil Hitler?

      Strange boy!

      • witTank July 10, 2018 at 9:03 am

        Im an unorthodox Jew, Im a nazi !

        • Harry Hotspur July 10, 2018 at 9:05 am

          Hahahahhahahaaaaaaa

    • Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 9:01 am

      Etched? You realise that etching uses acid?

      • witTank July 10, 2018 at 9:09 am

        thats for wimps. I’ll be using Novochok

  • Syd July 10, 2018 at 8:04 am

    Harry,
    Just going back to the last blog regarding the conversation about Zaha and that he was not at the WC representing England.
    I thought he was a player for Ivory Coast?????

    • Harry Hotspur July 10, 2018 at 8:13 am

      I referenced Moura.

      I start from a default position that I want every player to help win us the league.

      Then I watch them play.

      Moura’s biggest issue isn’t me however. It’s convincing Poch he’s worth a starting place.

      On Wilf though;
      Zaha is a regular starter – the star man at Palace – but are we selling tickets at £650 each to watch the Zaha’s of this world?

      I think he’s never leaving Selhurst Park and might look for someone with a better CV.

      • Syd July 10, 2018 at 8:29 am

        My apol’s abut the misund.
        I like Wilf and hope he comes. If we lose Sonny by chance, he is a similar type player but stronger

        • Harry Hotspur July 10, 2018 at 8:36 am

          Sonny should be able to buy his way out of it.

          • Syd July 10, 2018 at 8:40 am

            hope we keep him too

  • Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 8:02 am

    Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 8:01 am
    If Sterling has been listening to and reading about all the pundits drooling over his apparently superb performances so far this WC, he will firmly believe he IS England by now. Expect more of the same.

    I am reminded of Janet Webb coming on right at the death of the Morecambe and Wise show in a sparkly dress, to push the guys out of the way and soak up all the applause! (She didn’t appear in the show – that was the joke).

    https://youtu.be/9NCLmuo_944

  • Gloster1861 July 10, 2018 at 8:01 am

    If Sterling has been listening to and reading about all the pundits having orgasms over his apparently superb performances so far this WC, he will firmly believe he IS England by now. Expect more of the same.

    I am reminded of Janet Webb coming on right at the death of the Morecambe and Wise show in a sparkly dress, to push the guys out of the way and soak up all the applause! (She didn’t appear in the show – that was the joke).

    https://youtu.be/9NCLmuo_944

  • Gus July 10, 2018 at 7:51 am

    I don’t think this opportunity can be overstated. Now if Southgate can just get Sterling to set up Harry once or twice it will go a long way to England coming out on top.

  • 89Spurs 👁 July 10, 2018 at 7:38 am

    Still a good looker even now, never have a fiver long enough too see her smile!
    Firstly.