Date: 10th January 2017 at 1:44pm
Written by:

I won’t spend long on this.

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve not even referenced some of the previous mumbling about Real Madrid swooping for Dele Alli that was recently creeping about the place.

The Sun’s Phil Cadden has concocted this ‘Man City & Man Utd go head to head for Bonzo and Rose’ tale simply to fit a vaguely credible template.

Now I could get thrown out of the Magice Circle for this next bit. So you can read it, but mustn’t tell anyone else what I said.

Sex and disaster sell. You can’t buy a click this saturated marketplace with ‘So and so determined to push on for a top four finish’.

The mundane, the everyday, indeed the past is of no commercial interest to anyone.

Do you want to know how much a modest selling book on Spurs would earn you? You’d make more on the dole. I’m entirely serious.

Cadden has a remit to fulfil and this, this ticks lots of boxes.

So this is written from the perspective of a scared/ emotionally wounded fan? Not really.

I don’t believe Bonzo and Rose are leaving Spurs anytime soon because they everything about them and a good few others on our books positively ooze that institutionalised happy vibe.

We’ve all worked with someone who had been with the company forever, was going to die a company man. We’ve all seen The Shawshank Redemption and felt that moment of sadness when seeing ‘Brooks was here’ carved into the beam.

Levy doesn’t recruit nasty, truly ambitious types. In fact, those guys don’t want to play for us (hello Willian, how’s it going, petal?).

The moral of the story? Don’t let it get to you, unless you’re more than a little bit thick. In which instance, get very, very angry!

 
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • East Stand January 10, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Non News.

  • 61SpursNut🌰 January 10, 2017 at 5:55 pm
  • OfftheShelf January 10, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    Has anybody heard anything about Lamela? I’ve heard, totally unsubstantiated, that he wants to leave due to his brothers injuries having left him paralysed so He wants to stay with the family.
    Could be a load of rubbish but have heard this s few times now.

    • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 7:02 pm

      I had not heard that. If so, that is quite sad.

      • OfftheShelf January 10, 2017 at 10:06 pm

        Don’t take it as gospel plse. A second hospitality steward denies it. I suspect all this info is gained by earwiging so plenty of chance to misinterpret. I only put it up in case someone could second it so to speak.

  • Caspurs♿️ January 10, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    Why is it, every time my car goes to the garage, the bill always comes to the same amount, hmmm.

    • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      I park in my garage for free.

    • AntSpurs January 10, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      Do you have a full listed breakdown of services ?

      • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 4:57 pm

        1- broke down
        2- serviced

        • AntSpurs January 10, 2017 at 4:58 pm

          Ok next question cause this is serious : is it a good price? Were you having any issues prior to your service ?

          • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 5:01 pm

            Excellent price, didn`t cost me a bean. Might have cost Cas a fair whack though.
            I`ve had issues for a long time. How long have you got?

            • AntSpurs January 10, 2017 at 5:08 pm

              I’m experienced in issues of all sorts . How long do you need ?

              • Caspurs♿️ January 10, 2017 at 5:09 pm

                About 5′ 7″ should do it.

                • AntSpurs January 10, 2017 at 5:24 pm

                  Nothing wrong with the smaller man. Unless small man syndrome is in play.

              • AntSpurs January 10, 2017 at 5:10 pm

                I have no driving or car mechanics experience so steer clear of that. I fancied venturing into pastures new but gone off the idea now.

          • Caspurs♿️ January 10, 2017 at 5:02 pm

            Issues you say, hmm, I’d have to say yes, but thats an entirely different story.

  • MartinChiversAuntie January 10, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    I think we should bid for the Nkoudo fella, he looks good.

  • MartinChiversAuntie January 10, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    I prefer casual unprotected sex. Do I need to read more of the article?

  • richspurs January 10, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    Very impressed by Diers statement re winning potties. Its easy boy, if we go out on the pitch determined not to lose and determined to win, every single match, every ball, every chance, every half chance.

  • Salt in the Wound January 10, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    Same mentality (same Murdoch) as Sky Sports News ‘Transfer Central’ – NOTHING is happening, but they want eyeballs, and we’re now slipping towards Farageland, so making it fucking up why dontcha. Nonsense = clicks = micro ad revenue. I watched Ray Wilkins struggle to say something about nothing for half an hour yesterday, so I’m the plantpot because he was getting paid.

  • AntSpurs January 10, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    The Sun’s reporting on Hillsborough. That’s how low they can go. Nuff said.

  • richspurs January 10, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Good afterrnoon lolly lovers. Lazy news afternoon. I put in my thumb and pulled out a plum. Or was it the Sun. He he he.

  • Citizen Smozz January 10, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    The Sun? fake news if ever there was 😏

  • Spurstacus 💋 January 10, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    gloster1861
    I’m sticking my neck out here, but to me, I reckon with our first team, the sum of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I don’t think most of them would look as good if they moved on to another PL team, but they have a chemistry from playing together now for several seasons. I don’t know if that is just the bonus of stability, or the coaching of MoPo, or a little of both.

    Sorry Glossy, but the science in your comment is all wrong.

    Hugo; Kyle; Jan; Tobey; Danny; Victor; Eric; Erik; Christian; Dele; Moose, wouldn’t look as good if they moved on to another PL team

    No, sir! Not no way.

    • Gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      I stick with my view that most wouldn’t perform so well. Maybe if Jan and Toby moved as a pair.

  • Spurstacus 💋 January 10, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    Horndog
    Point well taken.

    As the Archer said to King Harold.

    • McG ⚽⚽ January 10, 2017 at 3:43 pm

      As Robin said to the hood.

    • UnkleTaff January 10, 2017 at 3:44 pm

      Eye see what you did there.

      • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 3:48 pm

        Me two.

      • Spurstacus 💋 January 10, 2017 at 3:52 pm

        As King Harold said to the Archer.

  • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    I think the Chinese will bid for Tottenham seriously and we will screw up all these other schmucks especially united

    • Camus January 10, 2017 at 3:05 pm

      Will we do that by buying expensive players on massive wages a la United?

    • McG ⚽⚽ January 10, 2017 at 3:23 pm

      It would make sense for a US sugar daddy to put in a bid, what with the NFL links… We’re heading for the bigtime, that’s for sure.

    • melcyid January 10, 2017 at 3:53 pm

      Tongtongham Hotsoy

  • starface January 10, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    lets bid for Rashford!!!

  • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Thank god none of our players can read or write.

    • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      I’ll get my coat …

      • Camus January 10, 2017 at 3:09 pm

        They didn’t read their contracts. They just asked Levy “Is it legit, bruv’?”

  • Superspoz 👍 January 10, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    The sun newspaper is on a downward spiral. They’ve been caught out many times so of course they’re going to try their luck with bullshit, after all, they are specialists in the field.

  • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    Point well taken.😎

    • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 2:42 pm

      For Harts.

  • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Why would Levy sell Dele for 80 mil when the Beijing Rovers could buy him for double that

    • Camus January 10, 2017 at 2:39 pm

      I wonder what they’d pay for Tom Carroll.

      • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:43 pm

        The clever thing for Levy to do is go partners creating a club in Chinatown. Feed them and have them feed us and eventually let them buy us.
        Sorted

        • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:43 pm

          Chinatown not Soho

          • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:44 pm

            China not Chinatown

            • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 2:44 pm

              Make your fackin mind up Ronald.

              • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:45 pm

                I see you survived Atlanta!

                • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 3:01 pm

                  Yeah, but one of my bags liked it so much it decided to stay there. Nothing like an hour and a half standing next to the baggage conveyor after a long flight, followed by half an hour in a grumpy queue for lost baggage claims, followed by a 4 hour drive home from hell due to train/tube strikes and the M25 being closed down at the M1 junction.
                  Blighty.

                  • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 3:03 pm

                    But we beat Villa!!!

                    Look on the bright side Big K

                    • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 3:06 pm

                      From the sounds of it, the bright side for me was being airbourne during the match.

                    • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 3:28 pm

                      Isn’t life a thing of beauty, Fofty!

                    • Freund or Foe January 10, 2017 at 3:34 pm

                      For sure Dawg.
                      Me and the better half talked about our next visit, thinking road trip. I`ll be Gering in touch with you by email soon (see what I did there?)

                    • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 3:50 pm

                      😜

            • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:45 pm

              Sell the team and buy a new fucking spellcheck er spell czech

              • Camus January 10, 2017 at 2:49 pm

                We were robbed for Paulinho.
                He’d sell for £40million now.

            • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:50 pm

              Chinatown? Jack Nicholson would be an interesting chairman.

              • Camus January 10, 2017 at 2:51 pm

                Get Kurt Russell involved.

                • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:53 pm

                  Kim Cattrall never looked so good.

              • Ronwol196061 January 10, 2017 at 2:54 pm

                Bill Nicholson was great in One Flew Over The Cockerels Nest

                • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 3:29 pm

                  So was McMurphy.

  • Camus January 10, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    I’m so numb to any transfer speculation now. It’s the equivalent of The Sun’s ‘Bizarre’ showbiz gossip column in my world. (No idea if they still do that.)

  • MarkFalco January 10, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    I recently had a conversation with my manure mate, it went something along the lines of “we’ve had it now with buying your best players cos those days are long gone”. He’s right of course, now the danger lies solely in Spain, so it’s only those stories that I tend to take seriously.
    Ironically arse are now more vulnerable to losing their players than we are, because unlike us they’ve been banging away on their project for so fuckin’ long, nobody takes it seriously any more lol.

    • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      I’m waiting for their only decent player to get the message and leave. Sanchez is far too good for the posers at the Emptycrates.

  • UnkleTaff January 10, 2017 at 2:30 pm

    Maybe we should respond my making a cheeky enquiry regarding Marcus Rashford? His career has been on hold ever since Ibrahimovic turned up. He”s capable of playing both up front and out wide and would be a perfect fit for us.

    • A waddle and a fork January 10, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      I love the idea but realistically we dont offer the wages he would desire. This is teh problem. If we were chucking 300 000 a week wages about we could turn heads like his.

      • UnkleTaff January 10, 2017 at 2:37 pm

        It ain’t going to happen, obviously, but he’s still a kid who probably isn’t on a huge salary at the moment. I’m sure he doesn’t want to leave Utd either, but there may come a time when he decides he wants/needs more game time than he’s currently getting.

  • MarkFalco January 10, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Couldn’t have put it better myself.
    Before you fall for this sort of drivel always check the source. I don’t generally believe newspaper talk unless its backed up by another credible source – ideally including direct quotes from somebody involved.
    About the only newspaper sports columnist I take seriously is Jason Burt at the Daily Telegraph.
    If any of you watch Sunday Supplement you’ll know why, some of those clowns are utterly clueless.

  • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    I’m sticking my neck out here, but to me, I reckon with our first team, the sum of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I don’t think most of them would look as good if they moved on to another PL team, but they have a chemistry from playing together now for several seasons. I don’t know if that is just the bonus of stability, or the coaching of MoPo, or a little of both.

    • MarkFalco January 10, 2017 at 2:32 pm

      It’s called a band of brothers I think. Pity about the evil fuckin’ uncle hovering in the background though.

  • starface January 10, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    just trying to unsettle our players because we are a serious threat to their top for targets!

  • Totspurs January 10, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    Always happens when we get close to challenging all our superstars and manager are wanted elsewhere. It’s made up bollox

  • James147 January 10, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    The great thing with these stories is you can laugh at them now. In the past, you knew there was a good chance of it happening! Carrick, Berbatov, Modric, Bale the big ones (for any young people reading). You just can’t see it happening now, the players seem happy and settled at Spurs which is fantastic.

    I’m delighted because Hugo, Toby and Harry Kane especially all know they could be earning double elsewhere. Huge credit to Pochettino for creating an atmosphere where the players want to stick together and improve together.

    • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      If Fergie was still running ManUre, he would have tried cherry picking our best players a couple of years ago. He knew the benefit of breaking up possible future rivals’ squads.

      • James147 January 10, 2017 at 2:24 pm

        Definitely.

  • UnkleTaff January 10, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Perhaps we should start a rumour that City and Utd are also after Arsenal’s young talent.

    Oh, hang on. That wouldn’t work — they don’t have any…

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 10, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    I get angry not t cos I think its true, more that these people….I loosely use the term…get paid to write lies. That never seems to get old with me.

    • Neil Bicholson January 10, 2017 at 2:19 pm

      Lies make headlines, headlines sell papers, selling papers = revenue.

      Red-tops don’t exist to report facts, they exist to generate revenue through sales and advertising space.

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 10, 2017 at 2:26 pm

        Ain’t it grand?!

        • Neil Bicholson January 10, 2017 at 3:48 pm

          I don’t buy ’em.

          Get all my “news” from the official Spurs twitter feed and the daily mash. 🙂

          • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 10, 2017 at 4:16 pm

            Me neither. All mainstream news is poison to me.

  • Camus January 10, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    Ladbrokes have them at 10/1 for a ‘double Man United switch’. Utterly bizarre. By that reckoning, Ben Davies is 8/1 to be the PL’s top goalscorer this season.

    • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      ManUre had better just come out and try to buy the entire first team and be done with it.

  • UnkleTaff January 10, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    “Everyone knows the club is going in the right direction. I’m over the moon that I’ll stay here until I’m an old man!”
    Danny Rose after signing his latest contract extension.

    Danny Rose ain’t going anywhere.

  • Gus January 10, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    The better we do the more chatter. Let them talk, if we’re winning it’s a good sign and I’m happy

  • David January 10, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    The problem is really what is the motivation behind these stories many of which originate from the North East. It is not so much about selling papers as about testing the waters. In many ways it is a kind of proxy tapping up by journalists to close to their favoured clubs.

    • UnkleTaff January 10, 2017 at 2:06 pm

      Jeez. We’re in a lot more trouble than I thought if we’re worried about losing our players to Newcastle and Sunderland…

      • Caspurs♿️ January 10, 2017 at 2:43 pm

        The pre-industrialised engine room of English footy?

  • Hartley January 10, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    They’re both Yorkshire lads who would rather eat their own shite than play for a team in Manchester.

    • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      Harts, do you eat that stuff? 😂

      • Hartley January 10, 2017 at 2:31 pm

        Only if I’m trying to prove a point.

  • A waddle and a fork January 10, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    Newsflash: papers are not selling.

  • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    No worry here, I just find it hilarious that this kind of bullshit is actually written in an attempt to sell an extra paper or two. 😂

    • gloster1861 January 10, 2017 at 2:10 pm

      At least in the States you know the National Enquirer is written for fun. Some people over here still think the Sun is a newspaper.

      • Horndog 😎 January 10, 2017 at 2:28 pm

        Good one Glos. I seriously do not know one person who does or who has ever read the Enquirer.

  • Rich G January 10, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Yeh wouldn’t wipe my arse with any of the redtops

    • melcyid January 10, 2017 at 2:07 pm

      never red