BREAKING LIKE THE WIND
Autopsy Of A Dominatrix

Autopsy Of A Dominatrix

Screen Shot 2014-03-17 at 14.11.26

 

I keep hearing people say that we dominated. By this definition of domination, a dominatrix to these people must be a woman sat opposite them in a waiting room, who steadfastly ignores them, reading a magazine.

*You vicious minx, don’t stop!*

My own reason hit exit velocity from my mind the moment Tim’s face washed in relief, appeared on my TV screen. He was so relieved that one could have mistaken his reaction to achieving no points, as the reaction one might expect from someone achieving one point.

When Tim says, “nobody can say we deserved to lose that game” what does he actually mean? If Sherwood is seeking credit for a game  in which we didn’t collapse, he really has set his sights rather low.

Yes, we were a lot more “in” the game than we have been of late, but yet again, we were unable to convert the possession we had into anything approaching a threat. I had bet on HT Arsenal, FT Spurs. The second half was all about me praying for a comeback. It was never going to happen.

When the Arse beat us at The Emptycrates, they played much better, and as a result beat us by a 2 goal margin.

This time, an injury stricken Arse played in lesser gear yet, but still confined us to us performance that didn’t really inspire much suggestion that we were ever going to win.

Tim actually said that we had “some glorious chances.”

When this doesn’t work out for him, he should apply to work as the Editor on a North Korean sports desk. We had 2 shots on goal, and 15 assorted other goes that were either blocked or off target.

He wouldn’t know a glorious chance, if one were to paint itself pink, dance naked a top a grand piano in his living room, whilst singing “glorious chances are here again!”

I see Naughton garnering praise. MOTM in some quarters.

What we’re witnessing here is football being celebrated for appeasing the lowest common denominator of critic. Credit for not making any mistakes is faint praise to put it mildly. What’s next, appreciation for putting the shirt on round the right way round?

I’ve a confession to share. I’m one of those of people who doesn’t acknowledge motorists who stop at a zebra crossing for me. It’s the law. So no favour has been done. So no thumbs up, or nod of gratitude. “Cheers for not running me over at a place on the road I am legally entitled to walk across!”

So no points for Naughton not making a howler, but instead let’s calmly acknowledge that for perhaps two games in a row he was okay. And this is my point. How does relief morph itself into praise?

So Tim got them all to turn up for a derby. I hope he can find somewhere nice in the house to show off his inevitable CBE.

“The result for Arsenal is gonna paper over a lot of cracks, y’know.”

Yes Tim. I’m sure that 3 points will really take the edge off having to look at the league table and seeing that they are only 9 points ahead of us, and only have a 24 point advantage in respect of goal difference …eh?

Tim, what are you actually talking about? This is mind bendingly stupid. We edged possession by about 10% and did naff all with it. We outplayed nobody. We lost a game that we never looked close to scoring in. In his idiotic value system, only getting beaten by one goal in a game against a better side, a game we didn’t fold in, is cause for optimism.

What might have given modest cause for cheer then? Well I’ll keep this brief as this is all stuff that didn’t actually happen.

Giving Soldado more than a token 8 minutes to build upon his drought breaking goal might have been an intelligent move, especially in light of the fact that Adebayor has gone off the boil. Or am I not allowed to say that? Is the party line still that Ade is reborn under Tim? Pffffft.

Eriksen’s wit and creative intelligence was muffled yet again by the decision to not to play him through the middle. And if this team needs anything right now, it’s intelligence.

The tactics are evidently as thought out as “get it into Ade and see what happens”, but the problem is, few balls in are of a quality to be nay cause for concern. There were a few oohs and ahhs yesterday, but they were awarded generously.

Townsend isn’t being coached. In fact he’s regressed. The first thing he does every single time he receives the ball is look down. Adebayor isn’t being coached. Every time he gets a ball, he loses valuable seconds trying to control it. It’s like watching a baby giraffe trying to control a ping pong ball.

The saddest thing is the wholesale lack of imagination.Without imagination, there can be no domination.

A businessman tied to a bed in a manky flat while some disinterested house wife smacks his bottom with the same rolled up copy of Good Housekeeping that she smacked his bottom with the week before.

It’s all about as erotic as watching England.

sale

Comments
  • Harry spencer March 17, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    LEVY HAS TO GO – HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS HORRIBLE MESS WE FIND OURSELVES IN. 100M on p**s poor players is some strategy. I’m not going back to WHL until he leaves.

    • jim March 17, 2014 at 4:06 pm

      ENIC cant just leave you moron, they have to find a suitable buyer, which will take years. You need to be careful what you wish for sunshine. What makes you think there is a multi billionaire out there to spent whatever it takes to turn us into champions???

    • untidy March 17, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      Bye bye

  • Stumps March 17, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    The mind-numbingly stupid substitution, removing Eriksen for Soldado did it for me. By all means bring Soldado on (preferably with more than a paltry 8 minutes in which to make an impact) but don’t take off the ONLY person on the pitch apart from Chesney likely to provide him with an opportunity to score!! Sherwood is making a mockery of his own “back to basics” party line by…well not doing the basics!! The defenders are making a hash of defending, the midfielders are making simply passing to another white shirt look like a monumental challenge and the strikers aren’t getting nearly enough service because those in the MF are taking a leaf out of the “Andros Townsend guide to footballing guile” (a bestseller in the making!!) by shooting at every available (and not available) opportunity and failing to hit the target!

    All this must be obvious to even the most inept observer…I’m all for back to basics, but if you go back to basics and get them doing them wrong then you don’t deserve to be fired, you deserve to spend your winter on an island with Cannon and Ball and Gillian McKeith eating kangaroo testicles, not on the touchline at White Hart Lane calling yourself the boss!!

    • soldado's snoz March 17, 2014 at 6:37 pm

      This match against the scum summed up our current troubles; we dominated the game in possession and chances off target, but the scum had more shots on target out of very little possession and very little time in our third. In other words we’re impotent, that hasn’t changed since Bale went and avb was sacked. All we do is plod around in the opponents half without threatening to do anything about it except long range shooting. We’ve got too many of the same sort of player and no where near enough creativity. We don’t need anymore powerful midfield stoppers, we need creators. The pre-season spending spree was in-balanced, shame about Lamela though, if only he’d taken to the PL straight away. As for Soldado, well any of the other strikers would have been better, even Remy.

  • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    Mostly accurate HH but you missed the mark on Naughton. I though he had a good game and earned his spurs. Defensively sound and put in a few good crosses. Yes, he may be a bit hesitant at times but who isn’t in this side at the moment, except for Lloris?

  • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    Completely agree on Ade, which is in fact heresy in these parts. wrote as much in the previous Blog Entry ‘… you Gimp”, to the effect that although Ade is the only pony half way preforming for us, what does this say about us ? i don’t care to actually answer that. Will leave the real autopsy for Season’s End. that’s the name they should give our new ‘never gonna be built’ Stadium – “Season’s End”. Sounds classy.

  • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Now this from Jan V:

    The knives are indeed out are they not :

    “I do not want to look at the table anymore because the gap [to the top four] is very big,” said Vertonghen.

    “All four sides at the top are stronger than they were last year and we have stayed at the same level. If you see last season, then we did not improve.

    “[However], I think we do have the players to achieve Champions League [qualification] and I hope we can achieve it next year.”

  • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    Have been away so long I’m not sure whether this post will make it.

    Let’s see.

    • caveman March 17, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Hope your well Yaughtsman. noticed you hadn’t been on for a while. We’re floundering.

      • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 7:32 pm

        Thanks for asking. It’s been a rough passage but the weather’s got to change sooner or later. Which goes for me and the lads. Here’s to a better future!

  • Dublin Yid March 17, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    He must have done a copy and paste on a Bale quote there. HH I hope Timmy the dog don’t know where you live :-) he might have something a bit heavier than a gilet to throw in your window :-) game over, business as usual under ENIC minus our best player in decades and 100 mil worth of 3 legged donkeys !

  • JaySpurs March 17, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    “…yet again, we were unable to convert the possession we had into anything approaching a threat.” – same as every game under AVB’s stewardship, bar none… So, what’s your point? We haven’t evolved? We have actually looked more potent upfront under Sherwood. We’ve actually got over the halfway line and scored some of those goal things… I think I remember you being similarly scathing after the failure to score in 29 ‘chances’ against the Toon Army at home, and whatever it was that AVB said afterwards. Or have you forgotten? We didn’t even have Ade to choose from back then. Why was that, eh?

    We have 1 man who can deliver a decent cross or through-ball – Erikson. And despite your derisory comments, 1 man who has consistently put the ball in the net when he’s played – Adebayor. Sorry guv’, but that’s the sum total of our potency this season. THAT’S IT. We all thought Bobby Soldier might’ve come on and scored the winner if he’d had 30mins. He also might’ve come on, made a run, jogged back, pulled away to the wing and tried to tee a cross in for someone else. We’ve seen a lot of that. Ifs, mights and maybes. Pure conjecture.

  • Sweetsman March 17, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Apologies if you’ve already read this, but it is telling.
    http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/mar/14/the-fiver-tim-sherwood-tottenham

    Regarding man management, please can someone tell me why it is good to deliberately not single out Vertonghen as world class? Sherwood isn’t guileless in his comments, he’s very sly. And all the while, Donald Pleasance looks on from the stands at the almighty cock-up of his own doing.

    • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 4:03 pm

      great read that Fiver column. Someone ought tell sherry that in this day and age, nothing is ever erased, ever !!!

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      Yes, there does appear to be little respect or love lost emerging between Timothy and Jan. I wonder if Tim would actually drop him ‘to teach him who’s boss’ if he had Kaboom and Daws fully fit. I know Jan’s been playing with a face like a slapped arse quite often recently, and he hasn’t beeen blameless in our demise, but this is not what he was sold when he signed up. Not at all.

  • Beast March 17, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Hey Harry. Any news on your ITK about Tim being sacked today?

    • Harry Hotspur March 17, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      What ITK? got the URL to the blog where I said that?

  • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    This time last year our talisman was Bale. Now it seems to be Ade. Oh dear.

    I was surprised how little Arsenal produced yesterday but maybe they did not have to, perhaps they thought one goal would always be enough and followed the script produced by Jose the previous week which was to let us have as much of the ball as we liked because the likelihood was we would do nothing with it.

  • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    Not as strong as I used to be, so I’ll make this short.

    Seems to me that what has gone wrong this season (and like the rest of you I was hoping for so much) is not mistaken tactics but that neither AVB nor TS ever settled on a team. Once you have that team (as we did in the glory days) you can give this or that bloke a rest, etc. Plus you can adjust the tactics to the opponent and the location. But a team never came together; if anything I fault TS more because with his playing experience surely that would have been Mission #1.

    I think we managed one point out of our meetings with the clubs above us. Not much more. That says it all.

    Congratulations (sincere) to Harry for constantly moving with the times when it comes to blog decor, or whatever.

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:24 pm

      Good to see you Yachtie.
      I agree with you; we don’t seem to know who are in our “first team.”
      I fear that with the demands of the modern game, it has become fashionable to have a large squad and rotate players.
      What concerns me is that we no longer have a known and trusted system or formation. There is no longer a “Spurs way.”

  • MarseilleBoyo March 17, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    We are actually beginning to resemble Wimbledon – long ball up to Ade. Awful. I bet LVG could get much more out of exactly the same group of players.

  • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    great read that Fiver column. Someone ought tell sherry that in this day and age, nothing is ever erased, ever !!!

  • Push and Run March 17, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    Harry – your articles and input for the last 6 weeks have all concerned with regard to your well being – we cannot lose someone like you and you need to keep the stiff upper lip – we are all suffering – some to lesser or greater degree – there must be light at the end of the tunnel

    • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      That light is on the front of a train doing 120 mph !

  • TriniSpurs March 17, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    You have to excuse my ignorance but I would have thought that on the back of successive defeats when we have conceded a lot that the focus from a coaching standpoint would be to regain some steadiness at the back. Sad to say I saw no evidence of this yesterday. In my early days of receiving coaching (early 80s) I was a full back who was always taught that I would not overlap when the left back had gone high, and vice versa. A feature of our season and more pronounced under Tim is that both full backs go into the attacking third at the same time. Then the 2 centre halves have a lot more ground to zone and invariably get pulled too far apart from each other. This is why we are at 6s & 7s all the time at the back. A little, obvious defensive discipline, especially against the better clubs, is all that we ask Tim. Loads of possession without a philosophy on how we want to attack, breakdown the opposition, create chances, is what you saw in all its glory yesterday. Anyway, what the feck do i know.

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 4:28 pm

      Defensive discipline is a simple concept but to Tim it is beginning to look like Rocket Science.

      Watching Rose sprinting from the halfway line deep into enemy territory, to get on the end of a pass that was never coming, in the very first minute, was infuriating and depressing in equal measure.

  • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    Anyone perchance have the AVB vs Tim sherry statistics, i have me a suspicion that AVB’s points tally and Timmy’s are now on par. Anyone ?

    • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      AVB 99 points from 54 games – avg 1.6875
      TIM 26 points from 14 games – avg 1.8571

      Is Tim better then? ;)

      • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 4:37 pm

        League only!

      • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 6:16 pm

        No.

  • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    That light is on the front of a train doing 120 mph !

  • caveman March 17, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    Levy had a whole 2 months in 2012 to hire a manager when the team were in rude health after he fired HR and he choose the cheap route. From that day to this we have gone backwards. The stadium (which should have been under construction now) is but a dream. He has the cheek to sit at the front of the directors with this solemn stare while he f*cks up the progress of the club. Hopefully Joe Lewis will make the decision to cash his chips in this ‘close season’.

  • Johnny Dick-fingers March 17, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Naughton is a better RB than Walker.

    • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      Walker is a better right wing……………….

      ^^^That’s something Timmy would say.

      For me the jury is out for the both of them. Naughton made a lot of decent tackles last game and he pretty much controlled Cazorla every time he got the ball, which impressed me, since Walker could not do the same the last time we played them

      • Johnny Dick-fingers March 17, 2014 at 4:37 pm

        The jury can’t really be out on Walker, he’s been playing every week at RB for ages. He isn’t very good.

        • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:06 pm

          No I think that FUNDAMENTALLY Walker is an EXCELLENT right back. Fundamentally. He does, however, tend to get caught out bird watching. This is easily rectifiable. With LVG coming in (hopefully) I seriously doubt he will tolerate mental lapses.

          For Walker to become a world class right back (he’s not far off), all he needs to improve is his a) His focus and tactical awareness when it comes to his positioning while we are being countered, & b) His final product. Once he improves his crossing our chances per game will increase by 2 or 3.

          • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 6:08 pm

            Bloody hell Kiri that’s a good response & without a single ‘fack’ in it.

            • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:11 pm

              Hey look, when my Serbian blood isn’t boiling I say nice things

              • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:11 pm

                but do you agree with what I said?

                • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 6:26 pm

                  Absolutely. It’s simply a question of applying individual coaching as well as team coaching.
                  You do this, not by isolating or taking a player aside, but by creating sessions, for example where say Walker & Rose are pressured into making decisions of a tactical nature.

                  • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:28 pm

                    Hmmm well said. Unless we’re talking about crossing which is individual. Put a target In the box with a wall on the right byline, get him to rocket down, look up and make a cross OVER the wall to the target. EVERY practice for half an hour

                    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:32 pm

                      Back in my day, we used to cross the ball into dustbins to practice accuracy

                    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:55 pm

                      …. and to be honest, the dustbins were better finishers than our lot

          • Johnny Dick-fingers March 17, 2014 at 6:17 pm

            His defensive awareness is weak, his decision making is poor and his crossing is awful. He’s quick and has decent control but that’s about it as far as I can see.

            • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 6:44 pm

              Agreed but I would add confidence to the plus side.
              Let’s face it all of our ‘wide’ players are nothing to write home about when it comes to crossing.
              I’ve only seen one cross of quality, that of Soldado’s which pinpointed Ade’s head in between to CB’s from which Ade scored (can’t remember the match).

            • MiT March 17, 2014 at 6:51 pm

              Sounds like he has the tools, hut needs some competent training management to me.

  • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    OOOOhhh, another pic of Tracey…keep’em coming Harry.

    • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 6:52 pm

      She alright, but she ain’t no KB…

      • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 6:57 pm

        gentlemen prefer blondes.

        • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:04 pm

          That rules me out then…

          • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 7:11 pm

            No I think underneath that rough exterior there’s a ‘gentil homme ‘ waiting to burst forth.
            Tracey bears a remarkable facial resemblance to Penny Lancaster.

            • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:27 pm

              Lucky Rod (the jammy bastard).

  • Eton Trifle March 17, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    Agree whole heartedly H. Been watching Blackadder re-runs on Dave per chance?

    • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 6:55 pm

      I hope someone at the club will come up with a cunning f*cking plan.

    • Eton Trifle March 17, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      I realise this is just some hack filling tabloid column inched but hope not true. If we have a choice would rather Have LvG.

      More worrying for me is the notion that we might get another player who has never played in the premier league in Hulk. Would much rather spande a large sum on a player with proven EPL pedigree, say Benteke.

      • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:06 pm

        AND Hulk is 27, Benteke is 22

      • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 6:31 pm

        If it’s a tug of war between us and Chelsea for Hulk it’s pretty obvious where he will end up.

        • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 6:57 pm

          Arsenal it is then.

          • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:03 pm

            Alright Bill, where you been since the game ?

            • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:06 pm

              In my dungeon, curled up in a foetal position, quietly sobbing…

              • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:09 pm

                At least you can abandon all hope now for this season.

                • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:18 pm

                  That started after the Benfica game.

                  • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 7:33 pm

                    0-3 ! ;)

                    • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:41 pm

                      Bill and I would like some of whatever it is you are on.

                    • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:49 pm

                      More chance of being diagnosed with cancer, being struck by lightning and winning the lottery…..on the same day.

                    • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:51 pm

                      I would settle for not getting humiliated against Benfica.

                    • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:52 pm

                      That won’t happen, coz Timmey will play Rooney….

                    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:52 pm

                      I called a 4-0 loss after the first leg and stand by it

                    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:53 pm

                      Ah! The old “thickening up” ploy

    • Eton Trifle March 17, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      Eton Trifle
      I realise this is just some hack filling tabloid column inched but hope not true. If we have a choice would rather Have LvG.
      More worrying for me is the notion that we might get another player who has never played in the premier league in Hulk. Would much rather spande a large sum on a player with proven EPL pedigree, say Benteke.

      *inches
      *spend

    • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      Ah no, thanks but a quite definite NO.

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      Nah, not for me fanks.

  • Sean March 17, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    If Arsenal’s centre-backs were asked to choose before the game if they wanted to –
    (a) have Eriksen floating in front of them playing tricky thru balls making them turn and track runners, or (b) have Adebayor alone in front of them whilst having long balls humped to him, I think we know what they’d prefer.

    Eriksen was wasted wide, although he does have a f*** of a lot of bad passes in his repertoire.

  • harryabbots March 17, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Can we employ the same person who shouts “away” at the opposition’s corners to shout “score” at ours? Next time we get a corner we should ask for a throw in. I’m on my last straw by the way.

    • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 5:10 pm

      Don’t bale out yet Harry Abbots…not long to go b4 end of season.

      • YidinExile March 17, 2014 at 5:20 pm

        Have i told you yet that Season’s End is the name I’m going for for our new never to be built stadium, has such a nice ring to it.

        • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 5:56 pm

          Then we cud reinstate the hotel project & call it a’ For Seasons Hotel Only’??

          • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 5:59 pm

            or even a ‘For Seasons Only Hotel’…what an idjut!

      • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 6:48 pm

        straw….bail….bale Jeeez

  • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    Its STILL beyond me why Benny wasn’t recalled when Timmy came in. Undoubtedly he would have been better than Rose. Rose has PERSONALLY cost us AT LEAST 6 points. AND that goal in the FA at Arse.

    • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 6:29 pm

      Had you seen Benny play for QPR this season you would not be asking that question.

      • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:30 pm

        Ya but if he had been playing for us, its arguable he would be in a different mindset. Playng for QPR he doesn’t give a fck for sure

        • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:32 pm

          Statistically speaking he isn’t doing that badly

        • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 6:33 pm

          He didn’t during his last few months playing for us either. He is done.

        • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:10 pm

          I liked Benny but all that relentless gum chewing has clearly rattled his brain.

          • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 7:40 pm

            I always chew gum when I play sports. Even water polo lol (I can because I’m a keeper)

            • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 8:05 pm

              Oh, how very American, what what what….

  • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    OK lads, I’m submitting my idea as to how we should play for the rest of the year:

    ———————–Lloris
    Wal/Nau – Kaboul – Vertong – Fryers
    ——Paulinho – Sandro – Dembele
    —————-Eriksen – Chadli
    ———————–Sol/Ade

    —Standard MARKING defence (enough high-line)
    —Fryers NEVER goes up
    —Vertonghen has license to go up but Sandro HAS to drop back and cover
    —THE IDEA IS ONE TOUCH FOOTBALL. One-twos are the name of the game.
    —CONSTANT MOVEMENT. Pass the ball, move into the empty space, keep your marker guessing and looking for you, don’t make his job easy.
    —When the opposition has the ball, IDENTIFY THEIR WEINY (their shittiest player) and LET HIM HAVE THE BALL. Take their good players out of the game and let that player stall. In our case, I would leave Rose to have the ball because he’s a facking idiot.

    We counter attack. Paulinho drops deep (He’s our outlet) gets the ball, gives it to Eriksen or Chadli, NOT DEMBELE OR SANDRO. We go from there

    • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 6:56 pm

      And get one shot on target in 90 mins.

    • soldado's snoz March 17, 2014 at 7:19 pm

      Could do a lot worse than that line up, I would prefer playing Ade and snoz because the soldier needs game time to get his confidence and they could work well together against the right opposition, in fact they have. Eriksen is a must, if only for taking Balesque free kicks! If injuries permit then stick with one team as much as possible, no need to chop and change too much now we’re out the cups (barring a miracle and a glut of free kicks on the edge of the box or pens) . I’d choose Rose over Fryers simply cos he’s more experienced there and Walker over Naughton too. Walkers pace is worth his odd howlers and preferred to Naughton’s inconsistency

      • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 7:41 pm

        but he might have to get an op :/

    • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 6:35 pm

      Emptying his locker maybe.

  • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    Email from THFC this evening

    “Further to the recent update posted on the Club’s website (19 February 2014) regarding our partnership with StubHub, we are contacting all One Hotspur Season Ticket Holders and Members to advise of an immediate amendment to the ticket resale process.
    With immediate effect the relisting of tickets on the StubHub platform will be prevented and prohibited to ensure that season ticket holders wishing to list at a reasonable price can be reassured that those same tickets cannot be purchased and resold at a higher price. An additional clause has been added to the One Hotspur Terms and Conditions to reflect this alteration:

    “5.3 Only Platinum, Gold and Silver Season Ticket holders can list a seat for sale on the StubHub platform for matches at White Hart Lane. Tickets purchased directly via StubHub for Tottenham Hotspur matches cannot be re-listed for sale. In the event that a purchaser is unable to attend a fixture after they have purchased a ticket via StubHub, the purchaser should contact StubHub customer services on 0800 358 8585 for further assistance.”

    As mentioned in the statement referenced above, we are continuing to work with our colleagues at StubHub to identify additional amendments to the current processes to ensure that the system operates in a fair and transparent way for the benefit of all supporters.

    Kind regards,
    Tottenham Hotspur”

    • Seattlespursguy March 17, 2014 at 6:42 pm

      So buying a ticket on Stubhub and flipping it for profit is out. Listing your ticket at a huge mark-up is still OK.

      • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 6:44 pm

        Good to see they thought it all through before entering into the agreement.

    • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 6:46 pm

      Less than perfect I would say.

    • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 6:47 pm

      How hard would it be to impose a maximum mark-up of say 15% to cover costs?

      • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 6:48 pm

        not hard

        • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 6:57 pm

          How likely?

          • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 7:19 pm

            not very

            • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 7:34 pm

              not ‘arf

              • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 8:08 pm

                It ain’t ‘arf cold down at the Lane Mum!

                • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:32 pm

                  Er… It ain’t ‘arf ‘ot mum!

                  • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 8:58 pm

                    Tch, that’s what i was alluding too. C’mon Spurty man, wake up!

                    • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

                      I was intimating that that was what you were alluding to.

                    • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:26 pm

                      I know. I was just breaking your balls, teeheee…

  • FELIXtheDOG March 17, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    H.H – agree with all that – particularly Ade. I was never his biggest fan – particularly last season. Applaud him lately but can’t help feeling it’s out of desperation – he’s a bit like a spinster afraid of being left on the shelf. His worst crime is not holding his position as the only striker – it means we are out of shape at the back, in the midfield and up front.

  • bombbombdiggy March 17, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    I know this 100mil malarky is getting a lot of press, but I think we are judge our investments too quickly. Look a modric at RM, last year they were voting him the worst purchase of the season this year he’s regarded as one of the world’s best. We’ve brought in 10 new players this season!!! we can’t expect instand results. Having said that I’m not sure how suitable soldado is to the english game. Most successful premiership strikers are fast or powerful. I can only really see him doing well in 442 with a big striker, I doubt we’ll be playing much 442 next season!

    • soldado's snoz March 17, 2014 at 7:22 pm

      Perhaps Ade could play in support of Soldado, the big lad seems to spend most of the match everywhere except up front recently – coming deep to pick up the ball or on the wings mostly until he starts getting the long hoofed balls from the back, then he has to go up front.

  • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    So, here’s a question fellow Spurs chaps.

    IF we get LVG or someone decent of his ilk at the end of this season, are you prepared for us to finish mid table at the end of next season and win nothing?

    i.e. Are you prepared to have to wait a season (or two) for us to get to where we will be making a real and credible challenge for top four etc?

    I was happy for AVB to carry on and was disappointed that he left because I truly believe it will take a season or two to set out our stall and start to achieve. I belive we have the basis of a successful squad, which should continue to include Soldado, Paulinho, Lamela, Chiriches, Jan and Eriksen. There are a couple of areas we need to strengthen but we have the skeleton in place.

    What say you?

    • soldado's snoz March 17, 2014 at 7:06 pm

      If TS is left in charge finishing mid-table and winning nothing is a certainty unless he gets the players back onboard in pre-season.

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:14 pm

        That wasn’t the question. Assume he goes.
        I, for one, want him gone. I don’t trust him. I don’t like him. I don’t have any faith in him.

        • MiT March 17, 2014 at 7:20 pm

          Second that. Unless somehow he can be retained in the youth rank. Little chance of that, I’m sure.

    • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      I believe we should continue to demand instant results and success, change the manager every 18 months because it has worked so well for us over our recent history.

      Do you think Soldado and Lamella will still be here next year ? Soldado in particular will have minimal resale value in a couple of years – that may be the case now.

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:16 pm

        I knew I could count on you to give a sarcastic response!
        But seriously David. What camp would you put yourself in nowadays? Patient or instant gratification?

        • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:36 pm

          Sarcastic, moi ?

          I think we have major problems, will the new manager have to rely on a DOF to buy and sell players for him, will Levy have control of the purse strings, how can we compete without a huge new stadium and if the stadium gets underway how will we compete whilst we are paying for it ?

          I think we have to display patience, Liverpool had to go backwards for a few seasons before they got the team they have now, I want to see us formulate a plan and stick to it.

          • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:39 pm

            Meant to say, we only have a chance of instant success if we get bought by a sugar daddy who throws millions at us and I can’t see that happening.

          • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 7:43 pm

            Well said.

        • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:24 pm

          We have been waiting patiently for instant gratification for years.

    • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 7:24 pm

      would it matter what manager we get in?

      we haven’t got the resources to compete with the top 4 and man utd, it will require a change of business model by enic to get us back in there with them as they’ve all (bar man utd) improved dramatically and refocused their squads whilst we gambled on selling modric/bale and a buying lots of maybe players.

      looking at the squad, there ain’t a lot of top class players there so we’re back to chicken & egg scenario, can’t buy or keep top players without CL football but equally can’t afford those players without CL football

      I think levy knows it’s a busted flush now, he’s just going to wait for some good news to let us all down gently, sixth is the new fourth

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:11 pm

        Answered below.

        TIP:-

        When you get the “timeout” message, just refresh the page and your post will happen in the right place, once only! :lol:

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:07 pm

      I say absolutely Yes. A proven manager who has won titles and/or cups in a couple of European leagues would deserve patience, in my view, if they were given a rolling 5 year contract and Levy gave them a clear annual budget to buy the players they wanted, and they were to be allowed to re-jig the current squad as they saw fit. Ideally, they would be given a highly incentivising results-driven performance bonus alongside the basic.

      It’ll never happen while Levy’s in charge but that’s a model that makes sense to me.

      • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 8:10 pm

        our problem is that is LVG or another top manager comes in and is successful, one of the financially doped clubs will try and nick them just like our best players

        I heard levy was gutted that ‘arry got blanked for the england gig

        • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:15 pm

          Well even 3 years of LVG with a semi-proven protege coming alongside him would be a start. Damn you’re a good negotiator, jfdit.

          • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:17 pm

            As I’ve recorded in these very annals, I would like Hughton as an understudy to a top guy for three years.

            • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:23 pm

              He ticks a lot of boxes but I’d like to see more of hsi preferred playing style – what’s he been doing at Norwich, predominantly? Interesting article here form when he was at NUFC: http://www.theguardian.com/football/2010/aug/22/chris-hughton-newcastle

              • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:26 pm

                Well, we lost to Norwich recently. Nuff said.

                • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:27 pm

                  That is not exactly a ringing endorsement, my friend.

  • soldado's snoz March 17, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    We enjoyed a new manager bounce for a while but that’s all dried up now and I think it’s the manager who’ll be feeling the bounce next. No way will he last into next season, get us to the end and then he’s history. Levy is the real culprit though in my book; a bit of investment January before last and we’d probably be champions League right now and still have Bale on board, instead we’re doing an Aston Villa.
    Massive lack of confidence in the boys right now, not surprisingly after recent results. Soldado should be given a run upfront with Ade even if that means 442 in some games. Can’t be any worse than what’s happening right now.
    The team ahs to be built around what little creativity we’ve got which means Eriksen. Chadli needs a run in the team too, give Lennon a rest.

  • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    seriously would it really matter what manager we get in?

    we haven’t got the resources to compete with the top 4 and man utd, it will require a change of business model by enic to get us back in there with them as they’ve all (bar man utd) improved dramatically and refocused their squads whilst we gambled on selling modric/bale and a buying lots of maybe players.

    looking at the squad, there ain’t a lot of top class players there so we’re back to chicken & egg scenario, can’t buy or keep top players without CL football but equally can’t afford those players without CL football

    I think levy knows it’s a busted flush now, he’s just going to wait for some good news to let us all down gently, sixth is the new fourth

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:35 pm

      Actually, I disagree. The margin between top four and not is very small. The matter of a bout of food poisoning, a goalkeeper error, a disallowed goal or an unlikely winner of the Champions League, for example.

      I think we DO have the resources. What we lack are the nitty gritty results against our main rivals and against teams we should beat easily. After all, we have much more resources than they do!!?

      • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 7:44 pm

        I’ll concur the margin has been small but it no longer will be

        cheatski now have a manager who wins things and a re-interested owner
        l’arse are sitting on a mountain of cash and will invest further in the summer
        the pool’s owners are pulling out the stops, not selling the teeth has worked wonders for them
        citeh’s owners are not going to give their newly found position up without a fight

        man utd are the weakest team but the glazers will spend big to get back amongst it

        we had two seasons where they were there for the taking, now the gap is forming

        • DAVID March 17, 2014 at 7:49 pm

          That is how I see things panning out, we will be in a competition with Everton and maybe Newcastle, possibly even West Ham when they get their new home.

          Our chances of passing Arsenal have gone for now.

      • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 7:44 pm

        In essence we lack balls

        • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 7:48 pm

          Unfortunately, that’s been the case for far too long. Even in the mini glory days under ‘Arry. I prefer steel, but balls will do.

          • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:50 pm

            Maybe we lack a Mackay, a Ruddock, a Roberts….

            • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 7:53 pm

              There you go again. Enough to bring tears to the eyes. Where are their replacements?

              • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 7:55 pm

                Dunno mate. Maybe in the lower divisions?

            • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 7:59 pm

              Ruddock? Razor Ruddock? Neil Razor Ruddock? Oh feck.

              • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:08 pm

                We lack the yob factor nowadays

                • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:09 pm

                  … apart from on the touchline

                • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 8:10 pm

                  We lack the lardy ass gobshite thug factor nowadays…

    • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 7:57 pm

      But do we really need the resources to compete with the top four, or Arsenal & Chelsea.
      European clubs seem to manage on budgets that are meagre compared to those of the Premiership.
      Ajax has a budget less than that of Sunderland for example.
      If there’s any proof that money is the answer to winning then it’s Chelsea & MANC .
      For all the money spent they have failed to impose themselves in European competitions.
      Check the list of winners out.
      You will see that the top ten winners of European competitions are clubs that have, by & large, an era of longevity of managers in their history

      • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 8:05 pm

        in a nutshell, yes

        look at the list of players acquired by chelsea since their CL win when they finished 2 places behind us, how can we hope to compete with them without similar levels of spending

        • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 8:32 pm

          No sorry I can’t buy into that. You are equating financial resources with success in European competitions and the list of winners just doesn’t bare that out.
          Football is a results business and the prime driver of results is a stable infrastructure within which the stars of today and the stars of tomorrow can express themselves on a field of sport.

          • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 8:42 pm

            if you look at the last 20 winners of the CL, everyone of them bar porto, ajax and dortmund had significant financial resources, how does that not compute with your view?

            • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:45 pm

              Define “significant” and compare to Spurs

              • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 8:51 pm

                we would need revenue in the region of 250-300 million a season to compete with the top 10 clubs in europe which include the top 4 and man utd, we’re currently @ 172 million

                • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:56 pm

                  So. New stadium and we will compete? Simple!

                  • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 9:08 pm

                    yes provided the debt level is managable

          • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 9:07 pm

            2013 b munich 3rd
            2012 chelsea 5th
            2011 barca 2nd
            2010 Inter 9th
            2009 barca 2nd
            2008 man utd 2nd
            2007 milan 6th
            2006 barca 2nd
            2005 liverpool 8th

            no winners of the CL from outside the top 10 richest clubs in the last 10 years bar porto under a certain big headed manager

            • bombbombdiggy March 17, 2014 at 9:21 pm

              I think even to reach the champions league from the premier league is a struggle. By and large what a club spends on wadges does strongly correlate to where they finish in the league and under these terms we’ve done well over the last 8 seasons. Sustained growth however uninspiring it might be is what is required if we are looking to become a ‘top european club’. Take a look at dortmund they struggle to keep their best players year on year because they can’t pay the wadges……does that remind you of anyone? They are in a less competitive league, they’ve less clubs ahead of them in the food chain!!

              • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 9:35 pm

                like I said 6th will be the new 4th, without the new stadium getting top 4 will be much tougher

              • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 9:46 pm

                Did you write *wadges* twice deliberately?
                Did you write *wadges* twice deliberately?

                • bombbombdiggy March 17, 2014 at 10:00 pm

                  Me no speall gud :(

            • Nick Hibbert March 17, 2014 at 10:51 pm

              Well having argued against the viability of ENIC’s business plan quoting, amongst other criteria, the value of intangible assets such as players should you not be applying similar rigorous criteria to the other clubs you have mentioned.
              Valuing football clubs is a subjective exercise at best.
              MANU is probably still the most valuable club in the world of football but as we know the bulk of their revenue goes towards paying the off the debt that the Glazer Bros. created when they bought the franchise.
              BARCA have just been exposed by a tax fraud. So are they really in the top 10 richest clubs in the world?
              You’re very keen to quote both sides of the balance sheet when it comes to THFC.

              • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 11:37 pm

                I don’t get your argument, you state success in europe is not down to financial strength when the facts suggest the opposite

                enic’s business model was commendable in principle but it has completely failed to deliver where it really matters i.e. on the pitch. If the stadium happens and we get lumbered with £400 million of debt we won’t be any better off due to interest payments eating up the extra revenue

                We along with Man Utd could actually be the only big clubs with large debts in the PL.

  • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    By the way, does the bottom of your blog have: “Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what’s on your mind?” Could put even a gorilla off its diet…

  • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Welcome back Yacht. Hows tings?

    Yachtsman
    Have been away so long I’m not sure whether this post will make it.
    Let’s see.

    • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 8:01 pm

      Hi there, Spurtacus. Could be worse. Bit of a shock running into Harry’s new blog layout. Got to keep up with the times, I suppose. Not near the computer a lot these days. Still, it’s good to see the usual characters putting their oars in. Like you.

      • Yachtsman March 17, 2014 at 8:02 pm

        Spurstacus. Sorry.

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:07 pm

          Spurt was about right :lol:

      • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:13 pm

        Earlier you mentioned not feeling strong. Nothing serious I hope!

        • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:28 pm

          I have had a bit of a rough passage myself of late. Although of a different kind no doubt.

          • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:39 pm

            Rough passage?
            Avoid anal sex my friend

            • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 9:02 pm

              One does try.

              • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:22 pm

                One does, doesn’t one…

                • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:25 pm

                  He bends over backwards, apparently

                  • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:27 pm

                    Backs against the wall chaps!

                    • melcyid March 17, 2014 at 11:09 pm

                      I even stay away from homogeous milk

  • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Just for the hell of it:-

    Timmy – League wins 57.14%, Cup Wins 25%, overall 47.37%.
    Goals per game 1.42 for, 1.37 against

    AVB – League wins 53.7%, Cup Wins 57.69%, overall 55%
    Goals per game 1.71 for, 1.11 against

    ‘Arry – League wins 49.31%, Cup Wins 50%, overall 49.49%
    Goals per game 1.69 for, 1.14 against

    • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 8:07 pm

      troublemaker ;-)

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:10 pm

      So, at the moment, Tim’s Prem League results pull his average up. That’ll change.

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:12 pm

        Investment Statement:-

        “Previous results are no guarantee for future investment performance”

        • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:17 pm

          Sherwood & Ferdinand LLP – the ultimate Ponzi scheme.

    • FELIXtheDOG March 17, 2014 at 8:29 pm

      Football under Timmy – absolute shite
      Football under AVB – absolutely boring
      Football under Harry – some of it was glorious

      I would like to be entertained for a while after two seasons of tripe aside from the Bale show.

  • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Is it possible to funnel in and shuffle across someone’s face against a concrete pavement (or the WHL car park tarmac)?

    Just asking….

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:32 pm

      Are you looking to paper over the cracks? Or ficken it up a tad?

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:37 pm

        He doesn’t mind himself, does he?

  • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:11 pm
    Answered below.

    TIP:-

    When you get the “timeout” message, just refresh the page and your post will happen in the right place, once only! :lol:

  • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    Timeout

    • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:26 pm

      Timout

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:28 pm

        Imout

        • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 8:29 pm

          Titsout!

          • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:30 pm

            Titsouth

            • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 8:34 pm

              Titsmouth

              • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:35 pm

                Foulmouth

                • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 8:37 pm

                  Chicken tonight?

                  • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:38 pm

                    Don’t be fowl

                    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:40 pm

                      Referee!

                    • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 10:54 pm

                      Charlie Adam is a Fowling Piece.

  • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    yesterday was the final straw for me. 3 defeats to Arsenal in a season is not acceptable…a draw in any of the games might have changed my actions after watching Spurs for 35 yrs.

    I told my brother to stick his season tickets I will not be going again until one of the following happens….
    New owners
    new chairman
    We have had a manager for more than 2 years.
    The new stadium is built
    We have won something
    Got CL football

    anyone care to hazard a guess as to when I will be returning to the shelf ?

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      Goodbye my friend. It’s been wonderful having you around the place. You will be missed over the next thirty years.

    • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      Is it a fruit bowl?

    • soldado's snoz March 17, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Can you come back as a ghost?

    • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 8:43 pm

      Ist the young supporters I feel sorry for at least I saw a few pots won in the 80’s….yesterday cost me £200 and a 4 1/2 hr journey each way….at 50 it could be the end for me !!!!

      P.S. the fucking seats are restricted view anyway….not that the club give a discount anymore !

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:46 pm

        I’m 55 this year and I refuse to be done yet.
        It’s so close we can almost sniff it.
        That’s what is so frustrating. Timmy out!

        • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:49 pm

          Are you sure that smell isnt the whiff of The Boys crease?

          • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:52 pm

            A crease sniffer nor a crack licker shall I ever be

            – Alfred Schnoz Tennyson

        • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 8:52 pm

          That how I felt in the JOL years….but its just seems to be going round in circles now…..and we seem to be being feed utter shite like the “Madrid partnership” FFS

  • gus March 17, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Fuck we are an embarrassing shambles, coached by a guy trying to play football manager dressup and doing a very poor imitation of ‘Arry

    • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 8:45 pm

      Triffid.

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:47 pm

        Stripper cop

  • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    anyone care to hazard a guess as to when I will be returning to the shelf ?

    Er.. Nope.

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:40 pm

      I was confined to the shelf years ago by my missus

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:43 pm

        *consigned*

      • EdmontonLahdedah March 18, 2014 at 12:14 am

        I’m past my sell by date and no longer under warranty.

  • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    anyone care to hazard a guess as to when I will be returning to the shelf ?

    Bring back bring back pratt?

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:49 pm

      Bring back Hazard?

    • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 8:51 pm

      What do we want?
      To bring back, bring back Pratt.
      When do we want it?
      When one of the following happens;
      New owners
      new chairman
      We have had a manager for more than 2 years.
      The new stadium is built
      We have won something
      Got CL football

      • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:54 pm

        Hahaha. Nice!

      • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 8:55 pm

        Or I am compensated for the money, time and effort since Martin Jol….the other decades I will swallow !!!

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 8:58 pm

          I am another one who saw the strides forward we took under Jol. It’s been a bit of a drunken stagger since then.

          Oh. And I have always swallowed.

          • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 8:59 pm

            Cripes, LRS, TMI!

          • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 8:59 pm

            I don’t even suck.

            • Johnny Dick-fingers March 17, 2014 at 9:55 pm

              I beg to differ.

          • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:05 pm

            you sound like my kind of girl….and a real looker no doubt

  • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    Bring Pratt back
    Bring Pratt back
    Bring Pratt back

    Bring Back Pratt yeah

  • superspoz March 17, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    I’m no manager but the wide boys clearly had instructions to cross the ball into the box. My questions is ‘where was the second striker?’.And did Tim not know that Mertasacker has one strong point which is dealing with balls in the box? and that his weakness is pacey players running at him .Did he not watch the Liverpool vs Arsenal to learn anything? Like I said I’m no manager but the arse defence had our attackers in their pockets.

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      Mate.

      Get with the programme.

      Timmy wants the ball punted long, thumped across the ‘box, hoofed into the stands, at every possible opportunity.

      It’s how you let the lads express themselves, doncha know…?

      • superspoz March 17, 2014 at 9:07 pm

        Gotchtya

    • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      were not both their full back on yellows…why didn’t we change wingers and run at them ?

  • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    ….sorry I will come back to this thread when I can find either some meths or bostik…I will be in the loop then….

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      Try Shiraz. Drink it, don’t sniff it

      • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:02 pm

        Baldini signed him

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:07 pm

          Guarantee it was against the manager’s wishes

          • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:08 pm

            did he play against the wishes ?

            • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:12 pm

              Yep, false number nine

              • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:12 pm

                I prefer a number 2 myself…

                • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

                  Just had one. That’s me done for today

                  • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:14 pm

                    drop another one the partys starting !

              • melcyid March 17, 2014 at 11:17 pm

                why not? we have a false left back and a false manager

                • Harry Hotspur March 17, 2014 at 11:45 pm

                  A false number NEIN!

  • Seattlespursguy March 17, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    I call it like this (as optimistic as I can be):

    Southampton (H) Draw
    Liverpool (A) Loss
    Sunderland (H) Win
    WBA (A) Win
    Fulham (H) Win
    Stoke City (A) Loss
    West Ham (A) Draw
    Aston Villa (H) Win

    14 points, 67 for the season. 5th again

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      A week back I called the Scum, So’ton and Liverpool games as win, win draw and we would be top four.

      We will finish 6th

      • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:18 pm

        That might not be a bad thing…concentrate on the league and pots

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:19 pm

          Concentrate on not qualifying for the Ropey next season is the goal

          • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 9:23 pm

            I still maintain that it matters not if we qualify for the Ropey. We don’t have to field a winning side.

            • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 9:24 pm

              We are past masters at that.

    • Spurstacus March 17, 2014 at 9:21 pm

      Damn you dont fanny abaht. You shoot from the hip.

    • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 9:21 pm

      We’ll win every game 3-0 from now on.

      • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:23 pm

        MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:30 pm

          I’ll be happy if we win 1-1 away to the Bin Dippers

          • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 9:31 pm

            Face facts, We are on the crest of a slump.

  • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    Funnelling…
    Shifting…
    Thickening…
    Grouting…
    Plastering…
    Varnishing…
    Painting…

    • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:10 pm

      ….Cottaging

      • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

        Felching, squelching, err something that rhymes with Squelching,

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

          Belching

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:12 pm

      Felching?

      • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 9:16 pm

        Gunterring !!!!!!!!

    • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:15 pm

      Farting…
      Darting…
      Arsing…
      Fisting….
      Twisting…
      Not Listening….

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 9:16 pm

        Bristling?

        • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 9:18 pm

          Whistleing while your glistening ?

      • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:17 pm

        Sobbing…

        • Billy Legit March 17, 2014 at 9:19 pm

          Crying…
          Lying…
          Not trying…
          Frying (eggs & bacon)…

        • Limerick AL March 17, 2014 at 9:20 pm

          I dribble when I Piddle, cause’ my middle is a riddle !

        • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 9:40 pm

          Killing…

  • bring back pratt March 17, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Heeeeeeeeeeey the Meths are working…..im coming up…

  • Themanfromroomfive March 17, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Hi HH the sooner the muppet is shown the door the better. Quick question for you and punters on iPads … When I log on to TBH I am directed to the iTunes Store- I then have to close that down, go back to the browser to wait for mobicow to close, then back to the TBH site… I am thinking of tearing the cover off and throwing it into the stands… Is this normal? Answers on a postcard please to the man from room five, Dublin 5.

    • Paulb March 17, 2014 at 9:40 pm

      Yes it’s normal.

      • Hartley March 17, 2014 at 9:41 pm

        By the time I’m dead I will have spent 34 days waiting for tbh to load on my iPad.

  • Hand March 17, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    Great article HH..spot on as ever. Let’s hope this season ends with man city and lpool finish on top and chelski and arse 3rd 4th with arse knocked out in prelims of Cham league….then sort our transfers early doors!!!!

  • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    realfan?
    Referee!

    Cock to mouth

    • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      ….wrong place

      • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 9:44 pm

        no shit sherlock!

        • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 9:50 pm

          Cock to mouth resuscitation?

  • Hand March 17, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    Kiri – what are your thoughts on us playing narrow or with width next year?? Have to say width with pace was great to watch but we don’t have the natural wingers…Lamela on one side but who on the other

    • Johnny Dick-fingers March 17, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      Lamela isn’t a natural winger, he’s an inverted attacker. Plus, he may or may not be a colossal waste of money, we’ll have to see. The Dnipro chairman is saying he’s up for selling us that Planky fella, he looked good against us.

      • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 10:13 pm

        Planky left and Lamela right and we have the makings of a good looking 4-3-3

    • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 10:04 pm

      My two bob’s worth:-

      We need to rethink our entire set-up regarding wing-backs and specialist wingers.

      Since Bale was given a roaming brief instead of a wing role in front of Benny, we have not looked a balanced team. We have looked short on the left flank during attacks and been found wanting in defence on the left because the left back pushes upfield.

      We should drop the requirement for wingers (Alf Ramsey et al) and insist our full-backs defend and only get as far as ten yards into the opposing half.

      Build from that.

      • Hand March 17, 2014 at 10:07 pm

        Yes I would go wit that…perhaps two defending full backs as a foundation with then more license for midfield to join in with forwards

        • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 10:10 pm

          I think Verts has flattered to deceive this season in all honesty. But one thing he (and Chiriches) are good at is bringing the ball out of defence and joining attacks. This can only happen if they have full-backs they can rely on to cover them.

          • Hand March 17, 2014 at 11:13 pm

            I would go

            Lloris
            Walker verts kabs/vlad ??
            Sandro
            Dembele. Paulinho
            Lamela. Benteke eriksen

      • Lord Croker March 17, 2014 at 10:26 pm

        Yes and no. We need to rethink our entire set-up. End of.

    • Kirillus March 17, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      Hand
      Kiri – what are your thoughts on us playing narrow or with width next year?? Have to say width with pace was great to watch but we don’t have the natural wingers…Lamela on one side but who on the other

      Ummmm excuse me, he said KIRI!!….

      I’d go narrow. Our players are better suited for it. We used to have (a) great crosser(s). We can still play with pace but down the middle. Paulinho would be perfect for this, Soldado would be ok I think as long as we give him through balls, Ade would die, Chadli, Eriksen and Lamela would thrive.

      AS LONG as we have defenders that are good aerially and we are prepared to give up the wings for the middle I’d go for it. We don’t concede many (if any) goals from aerial attacks compared to other teams. We’ve let in maybe 3 or 4 max this year.

      We have players that are suited for more compact games in midfield too. You would assume that having Sandro and Capoue in a tight midfield battle would greatly benefit you. Dembele is perfect for tight knit games. Paulinho not so much but he is more for the typical Spurs counter attacking football. I think he’s been heavily misused this year. Holtby is perfect for an LVG system which ALWAYS has a deep lying playmaker. He could be our Modders.

      For our forwards…. Chadli, Lamela and Eriksen are all counter attacking players. I’d like to see the three of them link up…… one day…. Siggy needs to go, he really does. I like the guy but he just doesn’t fit the bill for us. Maybe he would do great at a PSG or a Milan but he’s not a Spurs player. Konoplyanka would be a great addition and he fits the bill for a Daniel Levy deal
      If we had Lamela, Eriksen, Chadli, Konoplaynka and Townsend as our forwards next year I think that would be good.
      I’d sell Lennon and Siggy.

      I think It was Nick that said that Ade is an excellent player but that he doesn’t fit the bill for what we need. I agree somewhat. If we could get him to play the role of a typical striker I’d keep him. I think the main reason he’s dropping back so far is because there is a lack of a real game plan and he’s taken it upon himself to do something about it. Hopefully under LVG we’ll actually have a gameplan and he could get him to run the channels instead if holding the ball up so far from the goal or at least get him to hold it up near the box. Soldado just needs to be fed, it’s very simple…..

      All in all I think we’re much better suited for a narrow game.

  • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    realfan?
    Well even 3 years of LVG with a semi-proven protege coming alongside him would be a start. Damn you’re a good negotiator, jfdit.

    RF – maybe it’s time we as a club got a little more ruthless, levy’s a pussy in my view, he plays a little hardball but compared to some chairman he’s a rank amateur

    my plan would be buyout clauses for all key players and LVG, and not just at their valuations, the spanish clubs have had these for decades set at really high valuations to stop real and barca raping them when it suited them

    • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 10:19 pm

      Great idea, but how will THFC PLC be able to seek all our best players if we price them out if the market? It’ll never get past The Board. And with that depressing thought, I’ll Levy you. Good Night Charlie.

      • realfan? March 17, 2014 at 10:19 pm

        That’s “sell”

        • jfdit March 17, 2014 at 10:26 pm

          the point is we won’t waste months negotiating with clubs trying to buy our players, pay the release fee or no deal. If we’re going to progress surely we can’t have madrid rape us every summer?

          • Lord Croker March 17, 2014 at 10:34 pm

            Well they won’t be this summer.

  • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 10:25 pm
    • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 10:29 pm

      Fak me. I got 9/10 as well. Missed Hughton.

      • 61-Spurs-Nut March 17, 2014 at 10:30 pm

        That’s if Hughton was right of course :P

  • GazWad March 17, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    I reckon Levy is already looking over at Utd….he’ll wait for them to get Van Gaal, and then snaffle Moyes. It’s the level that we operate at I’m afraid

  • longrangesniper March 17, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    I miss this kind of entertaining football

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwNODC4aDpU

  • Hand March 17, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    I miss Modric the little weasel

    • Harry Hotspur March 17, 2014 at 11:47 pm

      You’re allowed to say that. This is a self help group. I still miss Berbatov.

    • melcyid March 17, 2014 at 11:31 pm

      Terrys All Gold

  • Billy Fiore March 17, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    “It’s like watching a baby giraffe trying to control a ping pong ball.”

    Thank you, Harold. God, I needed that laugh.

    • Harry Hotspur March 17, 2014 at 11:46 pm

      You have not been invoiced on this occasion, Mr Fiore :0)

  • Hand March 17, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    I would go

    Lloris
    Walker verts kabs/vlad ??
    Sandro
    Dembele. Paulinho
    Lamela. Benteke eriksen

    • longrangesniper March 18, 2014 at 12:30 am

      The old ten man line-up ploy

  • EdmontonLahdedah March 18, 2014 at 12:19 am

    Levy looks like Dr. Evil in the image above. Who would be his mini-me I wonder? His wife looks like she’s saying “why don’t you sell them all for……$1 million dollars?”.

  • Spurstacus March 18, 2014 at 12:32 am

    melcyid
    I even stay away from homogeous milk

    HomoJenas?

  • Spurstacus March 18, 2014 at 12:47 am

    Mrs Levy: Isn’t it about time you manned up and ripped off your gilet and threw it aggressively into your seat, you bald headed beady eyed weakling? Pah! You wouldn’t dare. You’re not man enough to wear a gilet.
    Call yourself a a player? I’ve never seen you funnel, shuffle or thicken you weasley little reptilian excuse for a football club supremo.
    Daniel Levy? You don’t mind yourself do you? Nah, not for me thanks!
    And don’t forget the bagels on the way home.

  • Spurstacus March 18, 2014 at 1:04 am

    longrangesniper
    As I’ve recorded in these very annals, I would like Hughton as an understudy to a top guy for three years.

    You and them annals.

    • longrangesniper March 18, 2014 at 1:28 am

      I guessed it mean’t gay sex in an archive

  • Spurstacus March 18, 2014 at 1:28 am

    I’ve a confession to share. I’m one of those of people who doesn’t acknowledge motorists who stop at a zebra crossing for me. It’s the law. So no favour has been done. So no thumbs up, or nod of gratitude. “Cheers for not running me over at a place on the road I am legally entitled to walk across!”

    I knew it!

    • DAVID March 18, 2014 at 9:00 am

      I stop at crossings but if the pedestrians don’t thank me, attempt to run them over. It’s only fair and totally legal.

  • Kirillus March 18, 2014 at 3:03 am

    “Kiri – what are your thoughts on us playing narrow or with width next year?? Have to say width with pace was great to watch but we don’t have the natural wingers…Lamela on one side but who on”

    Hand,
    I’d go narrow. Our players are better suited for it. We used to have (a) great crosser(s). We can still play with pace but down the middle. Paulinho would be perfect for this, Soldado would be ok I think as long as we give him through balls, Ade would die, Chadli, Eriksen and Lamela would thrive.

    AS LONG as we have defenders that are good aerially and we are prepared to give up the wings for the middle I’d go for it. We don’t concede many (if any) goals from aerial attacks compared to other teams. We’ve let in maybe 3 or 4 max this year.

    We have players that are suited for more compact games in midfield too. You would assume that having Sandro and Capoue in a tight midfield battle would greatly benefit you. Dembele is perfect for tight knit games. Paulinho not so much but he is more for the typical Spurs counter attacking football. I think he’s been heavily misused this year. Holtby is perfect for an LVG system which ALWAYS has a deep lying playmaker. He could be our Modders.

    For our forwards…. Chadli, Lamela and Eriksen are all counter attacking players. I’d like to see the three of them link up…… one day…. Siggy needs to go, he really does. I like the guy but he just doesn’t fit the bill for us. Maybe he would do great at a PSG or a Milan but he’s not a Spurs player. Konoplyanka would be a great addition and he fits the bill for a Daniel Levy deal
    If we had Lamela, Eriksen, Chadli, Konoplaynka and Townsend as our forwards next year I think that would be good.
    I’d sell Lennon and Siggy.

    I think It was Nick that said that Ade is an excellent player but that he doesn’t fit the bill for what we need. I agree somewhat. If we could get him to play the role of a typical striker I’d keep him. I think the main reason he’s dropping back so far is because there is a lack of a real game plan and he’s taken it upon himself to do something about it. Hopefully under LVG we’ll actually have a gameplan and he could get him to run the channels instead if holding the ball up so far from the goal or at least get him to hold it up near the box. Soldado just needs to be fed, it’s very simple…..

    All in all I think we’re much better suited for a narrow game.

  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

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