Levy Must Hire Dominic Cummings

Lo Celso ist kaput.

How in the name of god did Tottenham Hotspur Football Club sanction this balsa-wood clown flitting off to play an utterly meaningless game of football for his country, when he’d yet to start a full game for his club?

It was telling in a recent presser that Mauricio Pochhetino spent so much time praising Son Heung-min’s availability for training, despite the player being out on a red card from the tale end of last season.

Wow. A professional on the books, whodathunkit?!

The rather brilliant Alfred Hitchcock famously said “Actors are cattle! They should be treated as such!”

It is increasingly evident that the god-damn genius that is Dominic Cummings has similar attitude towards politicians.

Fans are sick to the back teeth of delicate fairies being indulged.

Giovani Lo Celso has turned out to be yet another close to useless bitch whose rocked up at Hotspur Way with a backstory.

Some waffle about have been on holiday when he ought to have been training. Like a professional.

Harsh? Well riddle me how – after 3 nondescript goes made out of sheer desperation – the Argentine then ends up being ruined for who knows how many weeks?

THFC has an appalling track record with draft dodging, lightweight physio huggers, and it has to stop.

Hitchcock’s dead, and Poch is clearly too busy compromising himself with everyone, perhaps when Dominic Cummings has extricated Great Britain from the gangsters in Brussels, he could manage our payroll of ponces.

ENIC have not just riddled us with time wasters over their two decades of silverware doldrums, they’ve actively encouraged shirking.