“87½p per nacho” “Not even bad” Mixed reactions to two of Spurs’ catering options

I’d recommend to you the social media account Footy Scran, which (and some of you may be astonished to know this) shares fan photos of matchday food from all over the country and even from overseas. The result is fascinating as we get to see variants of what folk eat in different places, and indeed, at different prices.

If I use the tartare pot to scale, this portion of fish and chips is about the same size as an iMac wireless keyboard. Priced at £9.50, for a category A London ground, it looks good value, although the mushy peas look in need of a drink.

Next up is a portion of loaded nachos, priced at £7. For me, this is lacking in cheese. Perhaps this is a vegan dish, but vegan cheese is actually ideal for recipes where you want a melted topping.

Squirty guacamole is a product that I wouldn’t wish on someone I didn’t like, but the salsa looks interesting.

If I learned anything from Footy Scran, It’s that a bratwurst at Borussia Dortmund for €2.50 almost looks worth heading to Germany for – on its own.