Brace yourselves, pilgrims. The back pages are coming at us with some increasing sense of urgency, bearing gifts of questionable quality. Eric Dier (aged 28) is being presented in some quarters as one of the best kept defensive secrets in England, and the apparently time expired Paulo Dybala (aged 29) is being billed as an opportunity once again for Tottenham.
The cherry on this particularly unsavoury cake is that Tanguy Ndombele appears to have failed in any sought-after winning of hearts and minds exercise in Ligue 1.