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Suarez To Star In Movie

Luis Suarez will miss our Barclays Premier League clash against the grief junkies on Saturday 30th of August (kick off 3pm).

What’s particularly funny about the FIFA ban, is that it primarily effects his Liverpool games, even though he was obviously playing for Uruguay when committing the offence.

The buck toothed nasty will miss 9 league games, plus whatever League cup games the whiners may involved in at that stage.

Suarez is prevented from partaking in any football activity whatsoever. The official delivering the verdict this afternoon placed emphasis upon the fact that the ban was comprehensive, he can’t even undertake any administrative duties, let alone train.

Can he be sold? Sky Sports understands that technically he could, but this is the 3rd time he’s blatantly bitten someone in a professional football match. He’s got some deep issues there, they need addressing.

The ban will expire toward the end of October, but he won’t be match fit. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

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