Date: 17th August 2017 at 6:45pm
Written by:

Octogenarian Ajax bad boy Arie van Os farts in the general direction of the Tottingham Hotspur!

From his massage table, whilst being pummelled by a pair of former Miss Worlds Arie grunted: “This is annoying for Tottenham, but for Ajax, it’s just fine. I think Spurs will eventually get tired of it.

“It will be fine again. These are especially times to show your club’s character. Sell Sanchez easy now, then Hakim Ziyech, Justin Kluivert, Kasper Dolberg and their observers will see that too.”

“‘Oh, is this Ajax’s business? Then we can go out too. Not so!’ Just issue a statement and keep his contract unless we receive the price we want.”

Someone has yanked the former Ajax Financial Director’s chain.

Did Levy really pull the old ‘But you only paid €5million for him!’ line?

“I have missed the entrepreneurial spirit so far. It’s time to say bullshit that €40million would be enough because the purchase price was only €5million.”

“Imagine buying a painting on a flea market for five euros that appears to be a real Rembrandt. And the Rembrandt is worth €100million. If you want to sell them, you’re not saying, ‘Just €50million, because I bought him cheap.’ The selling price has nothing to do with the purchase price.”

I lack the nuanced understanding of many of you when it comes to Davinson Sanchez.

Having never seen him play and only watched a few highlight reels I see an incredibly raw talent, raw to the point of being a walking red card if let loose in the Premier League.

Maybe I’m wrong and he’s the bees knees, and Levy does drop €50million on him and this guy is instrumental in us doing more than selling half time Emmental.