9 O’Clocker: Depressing Enquiries Made

We were 100% in for Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Whether you chose to believe that at the time, or now is entirely up to you. It was an acquisition that the Flat-Earthers were so fast to pooh pooh, several of them sustained whiplash such was the hysterically fast desire to pronounce the Swede a deadbeat.

As ever, Manchester United had the last laugh as Spurs cheaped out.

Ibrahimovic has been worth every penny both on the pitch and in terms of merchandise sales.

But we don’t buy veterans unless they’re CHEAP!

So…

We’ve enquired about Bastian Schweinsteiger.

32 and… need I go on, need I… really?

Paul Mitchell it is highly unlikely that you are reading this, but I have nothing but the greatest of respect for you and your decision to quit.

Oh, by the by, this is another Levy job.