Listening to fans who want us to play out our interim seasons at Wembley is reminds me of that scene in A Few Good Men.
Lt. Weinberg:
I strenuously object?” Is that how it works? Hm? “Objection.” “Overruled.” “Oh, no, no, no. No, I STRENUOUSLY object.” “Oh. Well, if you strenuously object then I should take some time to reconsider.”
If Wembley is going to happen for Spurs, then to say that something extraordinary needs to happen is a colossal understatement.
I’ve made cheap shots at Levy & Co on this topic, suggesting that it’s a open and shut case.
‘MK Dons is the cheap option, and so that’s the one a club with the motto, “to dare is too dear” will go for.’
Gladys the tea lady has been in touch. And her first point of business was to make it quite clear that if we didn’t secure a deal with Wembley, then it that wouldn’t be the chairman’s fault!
There are two core elements you need to grasp about Wembley and indeed similar venues worldwide.
The first is that they aren’t simply places that ordinary oiks like you and I simply buy a ticket for, and walk through the turnstiles into. This was highlighted when fans were clambering for League Cup final tickets.
About third of the national stadium is given up to corporate guests. The ramifications of this in any prospective deal are significant. This is how stadiums are paid for.
If you fancy doing a corporate at White Hart Lane when we play Man City prices are from £519. When battling Hull City com to see us, prices from £399.
This isn’t a dig at Season Ticket holders, but in the revenue stream stakes, you aren’t viewed by THFC or any other stadium owner any great shakes. If you want to argue they do hold you in the highest respect, then I’be fascinated to hear how.
The oiks like me and most other people that go to the odd game are of even less value to the business model.
Which in a nutshell, explains why we are left to be sexually interfered with by StubHub; rather than the club organising it’s own internal and most importantly ethical ticket exchange. The attitude that prevails is one of ‘if the plebs really want a seat, then they will have to pay well over face.’
If they mark us as ‘plebs’ on the spreadsheet that’s probably them being kind. The guys that spend 10 times what the average client reference number spend are where it’s at. Which is why “John Doe” fan will never be completely indulged by any Premier League club.
Client Reference Number? You do know where that came from, don’t you. It’s a play on the original acronym they came up with – CRN – Can’t Remember Name.
Back to Wembley. The problem about using Wembley is generally perceived as being as simple as X million per game. Sadly, simply doesn’t work like that. If that were the case, then anyone with the wrong end of a million pounds kicking around, could hold their birthday party there.
I think it was David Bowie who said that you know when you’ve got a real problem, because money won’t solve it. That’s certainly the case here.
The issue with Wembley is incredibly complicated primarily due to Brent Council.
Wembley revolves around the events it is allowed to host, by permission of Brent Council. The reality is, that Wembley has to make an application to hold a sports match or a concert. For 2015, their are just 18 sports events scheduled.
These comprise of the usual fayre, some football play offs, some football cup finals, a couple of England games. a pair of Rugby World Cup games and some NFL games.
Wembley has also been allowed to host 6 live concerts. AC/DC’s ‘Rock Or Bust’ gig on the 4th of July looks good.
So Tottenham fans thinking that we are going to get 19 Premier League games added to an existing modest offer of just 18 live events, are living in cloud cuckoo land.
Most borough councils come with a reputation. Haringey used to be seen as an unhelpful left wing hell hole, but times change, and they’ve cottoned on to the fact that property developers have access whopping sums of filthy, dirty cash.
Haringey’s now a borough you can pick up a children’s play park and medical centre to build your own private apartments on, in the time it takes you to enjoy tapas and white wine spritzers.
Brent Council’s reputation is one might conservatively describe as ‘unhelpful.’
Gladys joked that a pigeon from a neighbouring borough once flew into Brent airspace and pooped on a Brent pavement. The Pigeon was tracked back it’s borough of residence and that the pigeon’s council were presented with an invoice for the poop, and a warning of legal action should further violations of public health & safety codes be committed.
The matter is made worse by the prestige of Wembley is something that we would never get to fully experience. Because it’s mostly been pre-sold to existing Club Wembley customers.
Wembley offers one the finest corporate facilities going. They don’t just do boxes with a plate of sandwiches and a fridge full of pop. We’re talking rooms with en suite private restaurants, with food prepared by selected chefs.
Club Wembley memberships are not available to purchase as a one-off. The members are automatically allowed an allocation or events, then any remaining packages are sold on a first come, first served basis.
I know that most of reading this will say, “I don’t want a corporate, I just want to watch the flipping game.” But my point is more aimed at THFC. They won’t be able to sell many/any VIP packages if they could get into Wembley. It won’t be a money spinner.
The other problem is that the operational costs at Wembley are eye watering. It doesn’t matter what the ticket take up is on an event, a full company of staff, in particular stewards will be in attendance.
Which brings me on the another cost related point. Wembley are a brand. This isn’t your local arts centre that will host Women’s Institute Bake Off one day with a 50p admission, and then a death metal concert the same night with tickets at £8. The cost of going to watch Spurs play ‘ordinary’ league games will be Wembley prices, unless THFC are prepared to subsidise the difference. And difference their will be.
There has of course been the suggestion that we might try to secure Wembley just for the big games. The Category A fixtures. I can barely describe how small time this would look. It’s the sort of PR stunt of gigantically bad proportions that …oh my god, THFC would actually try for it, wouldn’t they.
We’re not very good at legitimately reaching cup finals, so in line with the 4th place is a trophy way of thinking, let’s make every game a final! would be just the sort of psychopathically stupid idea THFC would attempt to implement.
Can you imagine if any other club tried to do it? There wouldn’t be a free seat on any banter bus in the country for the whole sorry time we were doing it. We’d be a laughing stock.
This is why Milton Keynes works on so many levels (beyond the having to actually go to Milton Keynes bit).
For one, the MK Dons cannot believe their luck. The carnival is coming to town and it will not only generate pots and pots of cash, it’ll also cover the costs of them finishing off their optional stadium extension. The stand is all good to go, THFC just need to pay for the seats to go in and a few other sundries and it’s high fives all round.
This will allow our beloved chairman to be indulged in day to day requests. At Wembley, he would be viewed as a pest.
MK can’t facilitate much in the way of a corporate experience, comparative to Wembley, but at least Tottenham’s VIPs will be able to get into a box and get fed with relative ease. These high rollers will still be able to throw some money around, opposed to having to walk past opulent rooms they aren’t allowed in, in London.
The other positive for THFC is that the catchment area for the MK Dons is significant. Think I’m putting a spin on this? Google Maps is your friend. For every fan within the M25 that is moaning, there will be 2 or 3 from the provinces who will benefit from Spurs falling in their lap, geographically speaking.
All that to one side, the whole thing’s a mess. There has been no consultation with supporters whatsoever, in fact there is no desire on the part of the cub to genuinely engage at all. THFC’s attitude to fans is much like watching David Cameron on TV recently. He’d prefer it if all the plebs left him alone and just cleared off down to a food bank to beg for crisps.
