Date: 7th March 2018 at 1:43pm
Written by:

‘Spurs’ from the latin: Spursi; trans unreliability to the point of being extremely reliable. As a verb: Calcaribus eum trans Spurs it up. 

Spurs have had a good season for ENIC and to throughly mix metaphors, right now the two jewels in the crown that are neck and neck are the Premier League and the Champions League.

Any hurrahs in respect of the Premier League are capped because Manchester City have already won the title. The odds of Tottenham not securing a Champions League would dependent upon a seismic deterioration in our form and an equally unlikely boost in the form of the sides beneath. You can’t take anything for granted, but it has to be an unlikely scenario.

The monies from the Champions League are a joy to behold and our form suggests we’re in with more than a shout. Who can’t we beat?

The 32 clubs in the 2017/18 UEFA Champions League group stage is a guaranteed minimum fixed payment of €12.7m each, to be boosted by bonus payments of €1.5m per win and €500,000 per draw in the group stage.

The teams competing in the round of 16 will further increase their base payment by receiving an additional €6m fee, with the quarter-finalists then picking up €6.5m apiece and the semi-finalists pocketing €7.5m each.

The UEFA Champions League winners themselves can expect to receive €15.5m and the runners-up €11m.

A club could therefore collect, at best, €57.2m, which does not include play-off allocations or market pool share.

If you’re a deluded and socially stunted Flat Earther all this talk of cold hard cash will only serve to baffle, as you believe that all our players are paid in penny chews from the club tuck-shop and for the sheer honour of playing for illustrious club!

Back to this evening’s game and Spurs run in this competition has been stellar. I have been far more agitated ahead of league games (and during FA cup games) than I am today.

I think we’ll win. And so then do our coffers. More penny chews, Daniel! It’s a win win.

  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • Ray March 7, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    Fortune favours the brave and we have to be brave tonight. This is by far the best Spurs team I’ve seen in a long, long time. We have to believe as a collective that we can win this game and go out and prove it.

  • BERNARD March 7, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    lets just do em tonight bring back those glory glory nights C.O.Y.S we have waited far to long

  • Harry Hotspur March 7, 2018 at 3:43 pm
  • melcyid March 7, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    I used to enjoy those black jacks ,but I suppose they are a bit racist now.Also the robert backwards fruitellas.Thats all I could afford,4 for a penny

    • SpurAndy 🍒π March 7, 2018 at 3:12 pm

      Mojos were about 4 for a penny weren’t they?

      • MysteriousStranger March 7, 2018 at 3:17 pm

        2 for a penny in my day, so they probably were in yours 😜.

    • Freund or Foe March 7, 2018 at 3:16 pm

      Hated the Black Jacks, loved the Fruit Salads. And that’s not a metaphor.

    • MysteriousStranger March 7, 2018 at 3:19 pm

      No, you can still get them. And Johnnie Walker Black Label. And Black Magic chocolates.

  • Superspoz 🏆 March 7, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    Moura AND Llorente to start tonight? Moura for speedy counter attacks and Llorente to make a nuisance of himself?
    Wtf do I know..

    • MysteriousStranger March 7, 2018 at 3:16 pm

      Nah. Pure sub business. Not like we won the first leg 5-0.

    • Freund or Foe March 7, 2018 at 3:16 pm

      How to fix a frozen boiler overflow pipe?

  • Nick March 7, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    My heart says we’ll do it my head & history suggests we will go gallantly into the night with only a hard luck story.Keep it tight,no silly challenges or diving ( see Real Madrid last night) Verratti got sent off for being a little rash.Ronaldo couldve got three yellows just for play acting.I don’t think we’ll keep a clean sheet so I’m hoping for a 2-1 win COYS

  • OrganicPaper March 7, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Are any of you fine gents a gas engineer / boiler expert..? Im having a bag of trouble with my old Servowarm. I know it needs replacing, but in the meantime I was wondering if any of you knowledgeable chaps can give some advice to a fellow Spur?!

    • Superspoz 🏆 March 7, 2018 at 3:02 pm

      Get a Worcester Bosch 😎. In the mean time , does it display a fault code? If so Google it and and see what it is. It could be anyting, the pump,the pcb board, hopefully nothing too expensive.

      • OrganicPaper March 7, 2018 at 3:04 pm

        Fault codes dont exist on this relic… Its a VERY old boiler. Up until now very reliable too. I will remember the recommendation for a Bish-Bash Worcester Bosh though!

        • Superspoz 🏆 March 7, 2018 at 3:41 pm

          Good luck O.P.

  • JackDLad March 7, 2018 at 2:46 pm

    Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat! COYS!

    • Accy March 7, 2018 at 2:50 pm

      Romani Ite Domum

      • JackDLad March 7, 2018 at 2:55 pm

        Ar trebui

        • Rimsky Korsucoff March 7, 2018 at 4:36 pm

          Daniel J Travanti

  • DAVID March 7, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    I read yesterday that if Arsenal win the ropey and a team that finishes fourth or lower in the league this season such as Chelsea win the CL, only the top 3 teams in premier league will qualify for CL next year.
    The argument was that this would happen because we can only have a maximum of 5 teams in the CL.
    Does anyone know on here if this is true or a wind up ?
    Chances of Arse and Chelsea both winning those competitions seems remote but I thought that when Chelsea won CL and we all know what happened then.

    • CoopaTroopa March 7, 2018 at 2:24 pm

      It’s true, but according to the bookies it’s got only a 245/1 chance of happening…

      • Accy March 7, 2018 at 2:28 pm

        easy money, then

    • mattspurs March 7, 2018 at 2:41 pm

      Chelsea just have to beat Barca away first

  • Horndog 🇺🇸 March 7, 2018 at 1:54 pm

    Dembele, Dembele, Dembele. Key, key, key.

    • JackDLad March 7, 2018 at 2:43 pm


    • Andrew March 7, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      Dembele is vital today. Don’t know why poch didn’t substitute him against huddersfield after a few hard challenges ,just to make sure he was ok for today’s game

      • Horndog March 7, 2018 at 2:55 pm

        The Mousa Monster claims to be fine.

  • Gus March 7, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    We need to, at the very least, keep them out for the first 20 minutes minimum. Conceding two goals early was a major setback that we fortunately managed to claw back. Juve have their backs to the wall, we need to finish them off now

  • Gus March 7, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    This is our time to shine coys!