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The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

By The Boy -

 

Glenn Hoddle is only just shy of taking out a full page advertisement in a national paper. In the last 24hrs I feel I’ve become familiar enough with the brochure, to step in on his behalf should media bookings start to collide.

What is simultaneously interesting and comic is that both Glenda and Timothy are making some pretty emphatic statements about just how it will be, under their prospective, respective rule.

So what to make of these Lilywhite hustings?

Well, the cynic in me asks why, first Tim, now Glenda are bothering to mount such overtly public campaigns? It’s not X Factor. Is it? Surely even Levy & Co. haven’t sunk to a premium rate number – whereby fans get to vote the next schmuck in.

Neither of this pair are remotely naive. I believe that they know that Levy was directly influenced by those that whispered in his ear negatively, about AVB.

And while we’re here, make no mistake about this whole rather grim business. The trigger was not just pulled locally. The decision to pull the trigger was made locally. No incantations of remorse.

This order wasn’t given by one of MelcYid’s neighbours. The trigger wasn’t pulled after a rational evaluation of win percentages or examination of the league position. The trigger was pulled because André went into a position that he believed to be a partnership, however it turned out to be a junior admin role in a micromanagement free fire zone.

So back to Job Factor.

Tim has opened with a bold offer. He’d take the job. But only if it was right for him. And if it were right for the club. Lots of references to Daniel, the chairman, Daniel, the club. With Tim. It’s Hollywood or bust, babe. I ain’t doing no support act gig. We are told.

Why should he? Why would he even be expected to make any concessions? Er… well, his CV is lighter than a helium balloon – is one argument.

Did you watch the Iago show reel before the game on Sky? Heh. If you weren’t careful, you could have been left believing that Sherwood’s career trumped Karl-Heinz Rummenigge’s!

There were slo-mo shots of him in a Spurs shirt. Champers everywhere. At Spurs, at Blackburn. Know how to win? This boy don’t nuffink else, mush!

Oh that we could all have editorial control over our lives’ retrospective video tape. My personal highlight was a fade away shot of him looking majestic in an England shirt. The cation simply read, “England.”

The bloke has 3 (three) caps to his name!

More X Factor tactics. Why? Oh, sorry, that’s right. The chairman’s collapsed. The chairman’s now a creature fueled only by winks, nudges, hints, suggestions. It’s not what people are saying to him, it;s what they’re not saying. Insinuendos.

I wish I could get the Sky VT boys to do the tape of my love life. Edit the ones that got away, or the ones that I never had because I was too weak to let them know when I was young. And edit the ones who were with someone else when I was …less weak.

Edit the Cagney death scene of a relationship I spent 4 years trying to resuscitate – after only 6 months into it. Pan in on me pulling an outrageously hot air hostess and her, later that evening, living up to the sexual threats she’d whispered into my ear.

She left me a note. “I’m engaged to a pilot in Texas. I’ve stolen your Fujiwara shirt.” Yeah, we’ll use that note as the fade away shot.

Here’s the reality of Tim’s footballing CV. Never managed. Never been asked to.  As a player, we’re the best place he’s ever been. Norwich, Watford, Blackburn, Portsmouth, Coventry.

Glenn’s CV is better. But he doesn’t like spastics disabled people who are disabled, because they sinned in a past life.

We’ll look at the Saints game later. But I’d like your thoughts. Specifically on these two. If you fancy it.

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Martin Cloake is this week’s extra special guest on HHH!

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