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Gladys normally spends Tuesday nights loitering outside non binary public toilets – on the off chance – but tonight she’s watching back to back Sneaky Pete on Amazon Prime and texting me.

Tottenham Hotspur Football Club close to signing a striker that actually works.

Opposed to a broken one.

Spurs want to sign Sebastián Driussi who currently plies his trade with South American giants, River Plate.

Is Driussi any good? Well he was the top scorer in the first half of the Argentinean league season, scoring 10 goals in 14 games so far in the Primera Division.

The lad is 20 and the word from Glad is that the boy ‘is brand new, good for you’, and that Poch is precisely the right man to incorporate him into the whole ‘Lamela’ friendly brave new world.

How much would the lad cost?

You’ll love this.

About the same money as Jake Livermore. Additionally, Glad believes that our illustrious leader Levy is seeking to organise a hire purchase deal.

The best quote from Glad was ‘H luvvy, this one isn’t Eurotrash’.

 

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