Date: 16th April 2018 at 2:35pm
Written by:

Brighton & Hove Albion are a patchy and imprecise lot altogether. They’ve only won 8 Premier League games so far this season and their modest list of victims reads like a Who’s Who of bottom- feeders. In no particular order, West Ham, Watford, Swansea City (twice), West Brom, Crystal Palace, Newcastle United and of course more recently, Arsenal.

When faced with anyone genuinely good, they have folded like the proverbial deckchair. We beat them 2-0 back in December and this was a game of note as not only Heung-Min Son scored, but Serge Aurier also addedΒ this memorable golazo!

The form book for this leaves little to the imagination. Tottenham’s inability to show up against Manchester City isn’t suddenly grounds for Brighton to ‘get something’ from tomorrow evening’s trip down to the coast.

That’s one loss in the last fifteen, not the fall of Western Civilisation.

According to the Premier League website, Brighton’s Star Man is someone called Dale Stephens who has 89 tackles to his name.

I predict an emphatic win and some good old fashioned pillaging from our valiant boys.

Spurs to win by 3 goals to nil.

 
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?
  • Accy April 16, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    There’s about Β£4m quid difference between finishing 4th and finishing 2nd.

    https://www.totalsportek.com/money/premier-league-prize-money/

    • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 7:38 pm

      What hideous colours.

  • richspurs April 16, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    Someone, anyone, please kick Arry in the ankle, wink wink nudge nudge, and render him useless till the end of the season. Then we can go back to our free flowing, goal feasting ways, win the FA cup, and secure second place in the league. Please.

    • Harry Hotspur April 16, 2018 at 6:19 pm

      Harrowingly accurate.

  • melcyid April 16, 2018 at 4:40 pm

    that aurier goal was glanced in by Kane didnt you see him lurking,he was robbed of that one

    • Accy April 16, 2018 at 4:41 pm

      ffs

  • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ April 16, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    It is time for a big Moura adventure.

  • Nick April 16, 2018 at 4:07 pm

    Poch will according to certain people rotate the squad ahead of the semi final.Kane in goal & Lloris up top then.Cant be any worse than against city

  • Tappaspur April 16, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    All right you first eleven prove to me the man city joke performance was a freak performance. You all start against Brighton

  • Nick April 16, 2018 at 3:53 pm

    I expect Lloris to play as dropping him won’t look good after he’s had such a stinker.I see us getting 4 but not keeping a clean sheet.

  • Accy April 16, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    For ROn:

    Trump on taking the oil.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojNvSWlaCGU

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    Lloris can play but he must repeat this mantra pre kick off. ‘I am not a vampire. I am not a vampire’. To help his fear of crosses. 😞

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:36 pm

      I won’t get my coat, its warm. I’ll just slip out the back.

      • Sexy Beast April 16, 2018 at 3:44 pm

        πŸ‘‹

  • Still Nil Nil April 16, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    Stick gazzanigga in goal

    • Freund or Foe April 16, 2018 at 3:10 pm

      Ok fine I will.

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:15 pm

      4 words.

      • Gloster1861 April 16, 2018 at 3:21 pm

        Unless ‘OK’ is being used as an exclamation.

        • MysteriousStranger April 16, 2018 at 3:25 pm

          The reply was to Nilly though.

        • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:26 pm

          Noooo the top one.

  • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    He’s got 89 tackles but a b*tch ain’t one of ’em.

  • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    William Hartnel was a creepy mofo.

    • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 3:03 pm

      *Hartnell

      • Finn April 16, 2018 at 3:13 pm

        Yes, so was Pinky……positively vitriolic for those who read the book

        • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 3:55 pm

          Yes, less so in the film, I thought. Perhaps I just didn’t appreciate the juxtaposition of Pinky’s evil character with his cherubic face.

          A very bleak and grubby story. Excellent.

  • Gloster1861 April 16, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    Kane really needs to remember how to score proper goals.

    Poch needs to stick a photo of Alan ‘thirty goals in a season’ Shearer smirking, in front of Harry.

    • UpintheGods April 16, 2018 at 3:06 pm

      Was he smirkin’ fags back then? Well I never.

  • Camus April 16, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    Tomorrow night is suddenly huge.
    We simply cannot afford to turn up looking dozy and dazed with Lloris flapping about like he’s in ‘Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em’.

    We need a convincing win.

    • Gloster1861 April 16, 2018 at 2:50 pm

      True. Three big points tomorrow.

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      5 words. Vorm, Vorm, Vorm……Vorm and Vorm.

      • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 3:02 pm

        That’s one word repeated four times.

        • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:11 pm

          Dammit.

          • Freund or Foe April 16, 2018 at 3:12 pm

            6 words actually, one repeated 4 times.

            • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:13 pm

              Keenly eyed.

            • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 3:56 pm

              You tinker.

  • Gloster1861 April 16, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    Nerd alert! Doctor Who meets Jurassic Park.

  • Camus April 16, 2018 at 2:46 pm

    Again!

  • Caspurs♿️ April 16, 2018 at 2:46 pm


    πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“πŸ€“

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      Not a fuckin ice rink as well. That weren’t in the blueprints.

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? April 16, 2018 at 3:04 pm

        Daniel Levy Presents….Opening night…….Regeneration on ice! A journey through the Haringay project using the medium of theartre and dance on ice. “Moving yet sexual” : Daily Star.

    • Blackfish April 16, 2018 at 3:13 pm

      I now know the source of the pictures that you post here.

    • Sexy Beast April 16, 2018 at 3:14 pm

      What is that nerdy πŸ€“? πŸ˜‚

      • Blackfish April 16, 2018 at 3:14 pm

        some kind of drainage system for the pitch I guess.

      • Freund or Foe April 16, 2018 at 3:22 pm

        That’s the sub-floor solar panels.

        • MysteriousStranger April 16, 2018 at 3:26 pm

          They won’t see any sun down there!

          • Freund or Foe April 16, 2018 at 3:36 pm

            I can tell, you never fell for sky hooks on the shopping list.

            • Sexy Beast April 16, 2018 at 3:44 pm

              Long wait?

          • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ April 16, 2018 at 4:26 pm

            Don’t let the sun shine down on me

  • UpintheGods April 16, 2018 at 2:44 pm

    First….time poster

    • πŸ’‹ April 16, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      You’re late – on both counts.