Date: 2nd May 2018 at 1:35pm
Written by:

Spurs are now linked with a player whose name sounds like a character from Wayne’s World.

Hee-Chan Hwang is just the latest transfer target for Tottenham Hotspur (Themed Shopping Malls Enfield Ltd) according to the Evening Standard.

Hee-Chan Hwang has got to be right up there with Tokyo Sexwhale on the crazy football name-o-meter.

Although in South Korea, who knows, something as dull as ‘Gavin Brookmead’ might have people rolling of the floor, in fits of giggles.

It’s cultural thing.

The Salzburg ace has won the Austrian Bundesliga title for the last two seasons, although he’s not been particularly influential this term, having made just 9 league appearances.

What I find most bizarre here, is that this chap is 22 years old and yet has only score 29 league goals in his entire career.

Also, with no disrespect to the good people of Austria, what are Spurs doing rummaging about in a footballing backwater, looking at frankly mediocre talent, again?

If this is rumour is of genuine substance, then I may need a lie down.

Is this what Levy expects fans to shell out colossal ticket money to watch?

No thanks, mate!

  • Harry Hotspur May 3, 2018 at 10:58 am
  • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 9:23 am

    HH, could you please put a new blog up? Apparently everything I type is generated by you, so i’ve run out of things to say…

    • Sexy Beast May 3, 2018 at 9:27 am


      • Sexy Beast May 3, 2018 at 9:27 am

        Don’t let the bastards get to you!

      • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 9:29 am

        It’s funny more than anything.

        Gotta go, back later to slag Levy off…

        • Sexy Beast May 3, 2018 at 9:38 am

          That’s the spirit!
          You going to the Leicester game?
          We are meeting up for beers, would be great if you joined us 👍

    • Harry Hotspur May 3, 2018 at 9:39 am

      Heh he he he

      • Sexy Beast May 3, 2018 at 9:48 am

        Pistols at dawn? 😂

        • Harry Hotspur May 3, 2018 at 10:14 am


          • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 3:10 pm

            I’ll bring a mob down too, it’ll be fun!

  • Tappaspur May 3, 2018 at 9:13 am

    How many football matches have TOTTENHAM played under levy? Dunno I’m guessing 1000. How many cups available in that time? Dunno. 70? How many won? I know that bit 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Accy May 3, 2018 at 9:01 am

    Speaking of tech advances once more, they’ve worked out how to save digital data as DNA. This means you could fit the whole of the internet into the back of Honda CRV.

    We’re not talking about human DNA, but maybe that’s someway down the line—cybernetic organisms etc.

    • Sexy Beast May 3, 2018 at 9:54 am

      Like most things Totalitarian 99.9% carry on like nothing is happening…..
      Scary shit

      • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 10:00 am

        The numb nuts invite it in. Stick an Apple logo on a self immolating device and they’d be queuing down the street…

  • Lord Croker May 3, 2018 at 9:00 am

    8 times Liverpool Football Club have reached European Cup finals. That is pretty impressive. Its a great USP for any top tier player to consider when umming or rrring over a contract. What can Levy offer? Apart from a world class cheese room I do not know.

    • Accy May 3, 2018 at 9:03 am

      Levy can offer Poch™

    • Harry Hotspur May 3, 2018 at 9:13 am

      This I said precisely why they command robust sponsorship deals. Dele Alli will be practicing is his finger tricks in the mirror this morning and asking himself what might have been.

      • Ronan May 3, 2018 at 9:49 am

        Or what might still be ..
        Huge summer in that regard for football’s CEO of the year (self-appointed)

        • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 9:58 am

          Six million quid and counting.

          All because he’s worth it.

        • Harry Hotspur May 3, 2018 at 10:12 am

          I actually think Levy is immune to any criticism.

          If he isn’t sleeping at night it’s because the thinks he might have overpaid the milkman by 30p

          • Ronan May 3, 2018 at 11:51 am


  • Hartley® May 3, 2018 at 8:41 am

    David Dillenberg
    We must sort our that meet up at Tewkesbury Abbey, say in July if poss.

    Well jel

    • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:45 am

      Was that for me?

    • 💋 May 3, 2018 at 8:58 am

      I’m sure you could tag along. You can sit next to Poxy in the charabanc.

      • Hartley® May 3, 2018 at 9:07 am

        That would be divine.

        • Hartley® May 3, 2018 at 9:08 am

          These gooners have all the fun.

  • Tappaspur May 3, 2018 at 8:23 am

    I see our u23s got tonked last night. “Reasons to miserable”! hit us with your hitting stick hit we hit we!

    • Tappaspur May 3, 2018 at 8:31 am

      Accadamy? Assadamy! Got ran ragged apparently. Oliver skipp stop believing the hype actually all of ya

      • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:34 am

        I think a single 17 year old can’t be held responsible for a defeat.

        • Tappaspur May 3, 2018 at 8:40 am

          Definitely not. I wasn’t implying that

          • Tappaspur May 3, 2018 at 8:42 am

            John mc d

  • Camus May 3, 2018 at 8:15 am

    If I can throw a bit of shade on the Redmen’s achievement on getting to the final, the standard in the CL this year hasn’t exactly been tip-top, has it?

    Barca beaten by the super-average Roma; Real look a bit past it; Juve weren’t all that but we handed them a place in the next round; we beat Real convincingly earlier in the competition and they’re in the final; we beat and drew with Pool this season and they’re in the final. Plus, Pool have been decidedly lucky that Saladman has ‘done a Suarez’ and been in the form of his life. One-man team and all that.

    Makes you wonder if we’d be there had Levy & Joe coughed up maybe just a spare £75-100mill to buy a couple of proper CL-standard players. Same as it ever was…

    • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:19 am

      As I said in a past blog, the poet Whittier was correct when he said the saddest words are ‘what might have been’.

      • 💋 May 3, 2018 at 8:27 am

        Can you imagine if he hadn’t said that?

        • Camus May 3, 2018 at 8:28 am

          He wouldn’t have been correct?

          • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:31 am

            Don’t get hung up on it.

            Spurs deserve to win the European Cup in 1962 but it didn’t happen. I’m sure Leeds United still think they should have beaten Bayern Munich in 1974 but got picked off by Gerd Muller.

            • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 8:41 am

              If VAR was already in Liverpool would be out, probably against Citeh as it goes.

              I don’t understand the economics of our first team, Lamela, Moura and Sissy… Surely you’d chop those three in for one Salah? Surely their combined values and wages would cover ideal for player like Salah?

              Thes player are just ‘stock’ with varying potential values on the market, our squad outside the starting 11 is just a stockroom with the shelves piled high with Eurotrash and academy flops…

              • SpurAndy 🍒π May 3, 2018 at 8:51 am

                I’m pretty sure klopp would swap Lovren, Mignolet and Moreno for Kane.

                • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 9:13 am

                  Fair point, we didn’t’t have to buy Kane though did we.

    • SpurAndy 🍒π May 3, 2018 at 8:20 am

      So what you’re saying Cam is that Levy’s created a team that have beaten both CL finalists 😁

      • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:26 am

        But then succumbed to a canny old team with pedigree. Yep.

        • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 8:43 am

          Spot on Glost, a canny team with quality in a big game will always have the advantage over our ‘project’.

      • Camus May 3, 2018 at 8:27 am

        Still waiting on the trophy for that, Andy.
        I assume it’ll be received in the post any day now

        • SpurAndy 🍒π May 3, 2018 at 8:37 am

          Royal Mail ain’t what it used to be.

    • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:24 am

      I certainly don’t want to see Poch walk. I don’t want a manager to leave just to try and prove some point that Levy is holding the team back. That is madness. Surely we all want a summer where the people in charge (chairman/manager/scouts) make rational and progressive decisions over the squad. Sad if past stalwarts like Alderweireld, Dembele, Rose, eventually leave, but if it happens please please please spend what monies there are wisely. No more Sissoko’s.

      • Camus May 3, 2018 at 8:30 am


      • Accy May 3, 2018 at 8:41 am

        It’s a good job we haven’t had any success BEFORE the new stadium – could you imagine winning the league or a trophy at Wembley, and then NOTHING at the new place for ANOTHER 20 years? The stadium would be labelled a huge mistake.

        This summer, we will try to invest properly in the team, i have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER. That was Levy’s plan all along.

        • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:43 am

          Err. OK.

          “Nurse, he’s out of bed again.’

  • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:12 am


    What are you doing with that bicycle pump?

    A young Thai lad discovered sexual pleasure was to be had by inserting a bicycle pump in his rear end—an act known as ‘pumping.’ He soon progressed to a foot pump for greater pleasure, and eventually took it upon himself to visit his local garage late at night, where he attempted to try out the compressed air machine.
    He put a coin in the slot and was killed instantly.
    —Fortean Times Book of Weird Sex.

    Is that what Elvis Costello meant in the song ‘Pump it Up’? Never knew before.

  • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:08 am

    Nanobots. Amazing potential. Listening to researchers who say it won’t be so far off that they will build molecular sized machines that can enter a human body to perform medical tasks.

    And then who knows what happens! As well as destroying cancer cells for instance, perhaps even regenerating cells to keep us eternally young. But what then? No need for offspring of humans don’t age and die. Then the beginning of ‘augmented human bodies’ with biomechanical implants.

    The Borg are coming!

    • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:09 am

      The future is scary.

      • Camus May 3, 2018 at 8:39 am

        Rumour is that cures have already been found for the big C, but the pharmaceutical business won’t allow it as there’s too much dollar to be made…

        • Gloster1861 May 3, 2018 at 8:42 am

          As if a major corporation wouldn’t cure people merely because they are selling vastly profitable drugs which just slow the disease down.

          • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 9:14 am


        • East Stand May 3, 2018 at 9:12 am

          Why does that not surprise me, look at retroviral drugs in Africa, millions could have been saved.

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