Never mind the quality, feel the width.
About 5 minutes in we looked good for a win. Only a few minutes later and we looked good for a handing out a thumping or a Stoking™ as is now known after Crystal Palace confirmed the Potters relegation battle status, just 5 games into the season.
After about 20 minutes I felt like we were playing the 2p slots at a seaside arcade.
We kept feeding the coins in, but as they bumped and clunked onto the pusher, few if any eventually landed in a place that actually achieved anything.
By the time the Harry Kane coin eventually nudged the prize over the lip and into the pay out tray, the fatigue of mindless gaming had well and truly kicked in.
Have you played 2p slots for a couple of hours recently? I have.
Your hands become discoloured with the muck on the coins, and no matter how fit and how good your posture is, the fun eventually is tempered by small physical reminders as to why the SAS practise being kept in stress positions.
The combination of the Wembley debacle and then obviously being screamed at to ‘turn it on’ for this game resulted in a performance that was light on finesse and heavier than Heavy D.
In fact, yesterday Spurs were a fat D lister with an unfunny haircut and a very limited vocabulary.
Throwing the kitchen sink at a situation is a great idea in principle, but please not the wording.
Sink. Singular.
Continuously hurling weighty ceramic kitchen/bathroom items about is a recipe for disaster. You’re more likely to put your back out than cause your opponent any lasting damage.
Sunderland are a bit rubbish and on the way back up to their northern blackspot, they will take a crumb of comfort from only having conceded the one goal.
Spurs had 75% of the possession, which in the hands of side that knew what they were doing could have made for an unforgiving battering.
Instead, it was us that limped off the pitch. The full extent of Kane’s injury will be revealed today.
Dier and Dembele are being treated for cramp (which really is the last nail in the coffin of those who have systematically refused to believe we’re training the lads too hard).
We were blunt and comparatively benign, but that won’t stop the flat-earthers from rolling out ‘the facts’ …such as Spurs are unbeaten in their opening five Premier League games for only the second time since the 2004-05 season.
Gillingham on Wednesday evening is a good opportunity for Pochettino to completely flood our team with all the wünderkinds so many of you are convinced are going to be better than sliced bread.
Not because Gillingham are garbage, but because we desperately need to regroup to before we get humiliated by someone good.
Our following games are…
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!
