The Spurs ITK’s didn’t have a good summer. In fact once one begins to put into a percentage that which was called correctly, then factor in blind chance you’re left with a success strike rate a dead Octopus could beat. Have ever been beaten by a dead octopus? I have and it’s humiliating. Her name was Loretta.
Snow according to John Mason Neale is supposed to be deep and crisp and even, but all the ITKS are facing underfoot this winter is black ice and more banana skins.
Damaio not only didn’t happen, it was never happening. We never made an enquiry. How sorry a state of affairs is it when a football agent decides to put you out of your misery and announce this was all made up. The sorriest bar stewards being those of course who perpetuate the lie out of their own facile desire to be popular.
Loic Remy was never really happening. If there was an enquiry it was a casual one made last summer. There will be some cooing over his first appearance for QPR bbut you need perspective one deals like this. Player’s agent? Willie Mackay. £8m in (declared) and wages on top to make a Pharoah want to check his current account balance. If he looks good to you, don’t forget that in part this is largely down to the company he’s keeping. For example, I always stand next to ugly blokes in bars.
Sneijder we did ask about, but it was clear that the player was purely after a swimming pool of money to doggy paddle in. Anyone want to question that hasn’t the snap of him holding a champagne flute aloft on the Galatasaray private jet.
Moutinho seems incredibly unlikely. Why would it? Has the matter of 3rd party ownership evaporated? Has he suddenly decided that to move to the Premier League only to take a pay cut is in actual fact, a good plan?
Negredo has been mentioned in the same breath as us. Why? Because the Daily Mail sellotaped one crackpot idea (there was supposed Chelsea interest prior to them buying Ba) and we supposedly need a striker. It’s cobblers.
Villas-Boas said in plain language after the Man Utd game that not buying a striker was a strategy, a risk, they would take. If a deal for anyone is to yet be done then I’ll be amazed. Of course I’d welcome one, but do not expect one. This squad is far from complete. But I tell you this, what cannot speak cannot lie and the league table says we look alright. For all the ‘we need a striker’ bleating we are scoring more than we let in. If the graph below was on your company’s wall you’d hardly be put on a suicide watch.
So in short all I have for you today is the truth.
Some will bitch that you’ve been given nothing. In which case you enjoy your day carving the names of players you’ve never seen play into hearts on your school desk with your compass.