Had this been a boxing match, Jose would have won on points. The Chelsea goal may have been soft and imminently preventable, but essentially from the half hour mark onwards, we were riding our luck and doing a passable impression of a side that could probably just about hold on.
Had the entire game unfolded as per that first 30 minutes, then we’d all be waking up surrounded by empty champagne bottles, snoring dwarfs clutching silver slavers of cocaine and giggling, coquettish lingerie models making pancakes in the kitchen.
Alas, what actually happened was it only took Jose half an hour before the penny dropped that his master plan was in fact rubbish and his Fat Fwank/Rameris axis wasn’t worth tuppence. We were fortunate that despite AVB’s duff tactics, there was just enough about us to weather the storm. Which is a bit of a pity as we had the personnel to achieve more than that.
While this was panning out in real time (ie bloody slowly) before our eyes, Jose out manoeuvred AndréThe real difference between these two cars? The drivers.
Far too many Spurs players on the periphery.
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Hugo is clearly an intelligent goal keeper who thinks outside (of the six yard) box. I like footballers who think. The world’s best footballers have been thoughtful players. So no surprise that every time Hugo demonstrates this the commentators wheel out mindless, sniffy comments such as “he was lucky there’ or “another incredibly risky move there that seems to have come off.’
Would these cretins have made similar comments when players like Cruyff made his turn? “He was lucky there, he could have easily tripped over the ball there..” Unwillingness to applaud class only serves to reveal those sat on their hands for what they are.
Naughton apologists keeps playing the “He’s not doing too badly for an out of position right back” card. Alas, this excuse is now on a par with “He’s missing his mum’s cooking since he moved out of home 2 years ago.”
Does anyone actually believe that just before André announced the team sheet each week, he sidles up to Kyle and says, “Look, I don’t like to ask, but can you play at left back this week, mate?”
He clearly is training as a left back and being selected as one. Wherever he plays he looks technically unconvincing and positionally naive. This was a game where he pretty much didn’t put a foot wrong, but did he add value? No. And you don’t score highly for just managing to show up and put your shirt on the right way round.
Awesome Dawson. If ever there was a nick name earned by the most imperceptible, unsupportable fantasy, this is it. He’s not awesome. He’s a seemingly decent enough bloke who appears not eat babies in his private life, but as a footballer he’s a leftover from an era when moustaches were in vogue.
Being able to get stuck in and clear the ball are no longer prerequisites for being a staunch centreback. The modern game needs players who understand how important possession is and that wildly belting the ball away is, 99% of the time an unsophisticated pass to to the opposition. The modern game needs effective players.
And that’s the real issue. Some of you might want to excuse him from being able to adapt to football as it’s played in 2013 (but why the hell would you want to?). But if he’s not counterbalancing this by getting the fundamental stuff right. Terry was unmarked for a Chelsea corner. A player Dawson should have picked up, hassled, blocked, dealt with.
Bonzo was Bonzo Lite™. Which is to say he didn’t once fill me with the urge to kill him. He did some good stuff and he certainly defended more effectively. This is only to be greeted with open arms.
His forward play is mainly pointless. Runs up the wing are futile if they don’t achieve anything. While his Chupa Chup fueled brain is thinking “I’m gonna win a corner or a throw here” the rest of the world sighs. Just cross the damn thing while you still have the advantage.
He’s a potentially a good defender. He needs to get that part of his game nailed. Given he’s a defender, I’m almost in tears as I type this.
Eriksen – Mr Periphery. He got little and for the most part, he shared less than that.
Maybe it was the discovery that he had turned down Manchester City, Liverpool and Arsenal, only to join a club that sang his name to a Black Lace song that somehow ‘broke him.’ But little of yesterday is likely to feature on his end of season show reel. All of which is corroborated by the fact that the swap for Holtby was historically early by AVB’s standards.
He was technically up to scratch, but simply wasn’t involved anyway near as much as he should have been.
Torres was a cad from start to premature finish; in the process he gave Jan what the Irish call ‘a stick up his hole.’ On the whole he did well enough, but his two standout negatives were the lunatic shot from what, 35 yards+ out and the feigning a head injury in the incident that eventually prompted the weakling Mike Dean to eventually bin the dipper.
Vertonghen’s pot shot reflected his frustration. On at least two occasions we got the “what do you want me to do?” hand gesturing towards the midfield.
He’s a player that doesn’t mix well with players who aren’t giving it their all. This is a weakness he’d argue wasn’t his, but finger pointing isn’t helpful.
Townsend was superb. He was a major factor in why we looked so good in the opening play. It’s clear that he’s been managed and managed well. I only saw one moment he thought about blasting it and he resisted.
Please don’t mistake this ‘campaign’ to control and focus Andros for some plot to kill his creativity. It isn’t. It’s about making sure he isn’t wasteful. Up until now, he’s been incredibly wasteful. I’m not interested in players having a go once their attempts hit double figures without success.
I’m not really sure why he came off, but it was a mistake and we were weakened by it.
Paulinho had a naff game by anyone’s standards, let alone his own. He wasn’t as busy as he ought to have been. His pass completion rate was alright, but only as a percentage. In actual passes, he contributed significantly less to the game than Moussa. Even Lampard, who didn’t have a triumphant game either achieved more.
This is a player that many have been raving over and few struggled to see what the fuss was all about. Hopefully the this performance can be used as a yardstick against far superior ones in the future.
Given that it was our midfield that evaporated for much of the last hour of the match, not a good report, I’m afraid.
And so to Moussa. Mr Dembélé was a monster. If this whole football thing doesn’t pan out, he should go in for that Celebrity Dancing On Ice thing on the telly. I’ve no idea how a unit the size of him manages to glide his way past the mean spirited shoves and kicks and nudges of a Premier League football pitch, but his movement and grace are second only to what achieves with them.
He had an 89% pass completion rate. He won 8 out of 8 take ons, 5 of which were in the Chelsea half. HeIn 3 words, he bossed it. The only negative is that he was only player on the park to have such an outstanding game, in such an important game.
Siggy had a mixed bag of a game. As with everyone else in the Lilywhite, he faded but kind of refused to entirely fizzle out. He took his goal excellently, but a more even, a more sustained performance would have gone a long way. It would have mad far more sense to swap the Siggster for Sandro or Holtby and done so sooner.
This would have shored up Paulinho and thrown another tough guy into the equation. Another battler.
Sigg attempted 29 passes and succeeded with 21 of them. Which is coded language for he didn’t, side from the goal, get all that much done.
Soldado then and another game, another no show on the goal front. Given that he is unlikely to get the start against Anzhi, I’m not sure in AVB’s logic in bringing on Defoe.It was hardly as if Soldado was making a mess of it.
Yet again, the service was abysmal. Townsend’s contribution to affairs flat lined after the hour mark. Chadli did actually do more than Townsend did (in the second half) in terms of passing and such, but he was a bit of a damp squib.Subs need to either make an impact or shore up and Chadli didn’t do either.
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So, given that even Mata’s introduction only served to get Chelsea back into a game they were gradually losing, the failure to effectively pursue and hopefully achieve a win was thwarted by some ‘nothingy’ contributions. From players who are ordinarily are about 30% better footballers, than they were in that game.
Tactically AVB wasn’t up to scratch. I don’t want to be using that phrase again. Not towards the latter part of the season anyway.
