Date: 9th November 2018 at 2:04pm
Written by:

This is superb and had to be shared.

In the immortal words of Homer J Simpson, ‘it’s funny because it’s true’.

Well, sorta.

Simon Harris and indeed the all the good people at U OK HUN? want an award generally speaking, it’s a great site.

I would go as far to say that it is even more better than the Daily Mash.

Given the insane levels of chaos that have dogged this ridiculous shrine to moneymaking, I’ve frequently said that the situation could not be parodied.

We, it can.

Given the recent leak that the works at the New Destination™ are unlikely to be completed until February, the club debt has surpassed that of even Manchester United’s and that the playing personnel have been left to run themselves into the floor, it is difficult to poke fun at CEO who has already been completely stripped of any credibility.

However it’s been done quite handsomely here.

‘Due to wiring issues beyond our control, the club are issuing fans with hot towels at kick off and half time, once again, thank you for your patience and your support’…

  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • dilly November 10, 2018 at 8:37 am

    Out of circulation for much of next week it’s my big birthday! on Tuesday Nov 13th.
    Born on Friday 13th (somebody had to) I share my birthday with fellow Scorpions both Gerard Butler (actor) and Whoopi Goldberrg (actress) respectively. Aged 3 yrs when Spurs last won the league title in 1961 Harold MaCmillan was British PM (who famously quipped “you never had it so good”), Eisenhower was USA President and Kroos Choff! was Russian leader.

    • dilly November 10, 2018 at 8:38 am

      Born 13.11.58!

      • dilly November 10, 2018 at 8:39 am

        Yes I remember the swinging 60s and attended a Beatles concert.
        It’s been a Hard Days Night. Let it Be!

        • dilly November 10, 2018 at 8:49 am

          Ideally I would have liked to have taken the whole day off on Tuesday before my celebratory party but not possible.

          • Ronan November 10, 2018 at 10:59 am

            Many congrats, dilly, hope it’s a great day!

  • dilly November 10, 2018 at 8:19 am

    In case you missed it Joe Johnson has quit as Transport Minister and called for the public to have a fresh say on Brexit. According to the BBC the MP, who is Boris Johnson’s brother but voted Remain in the referendum, said the deal being negotiated with the EU “will be a terrible mistake”. Arguing Britain was “on the brink of the greatest crisis” since World War Two, he said what was on offer wasn’t “anything like what was promised” If you mean leaving the single market, customs union and having full control over our laws which the Brexiteers voted for (Quoting Cameron, Brexit means Brexit!!) then he is probably right.
    Apparently 95% there to signing the EU document (Irish Border being the sticking point) Downing Street have ruled out another Referendum.

    • Harry Hotspur November 10, 2018 at 9:17 am

      I literally did not know he existed until yesterday. And now, he no longer exists…

  • Mikespurs November 10, 2018 at 3:22 am

    Other news, first American (raised brooklyn) to be in the chess finals since bobby Fisher. Blundered his opening but saved a draw. Got caught in a mandatory sexual harassment meeting that took the better part of 2 god awful hrs……waiting for a chess piece to move on my phone has never been so enthralling

  • Tappaspur November 9, 2018 at 11:50 pm

    Unlucky the borough. Got £200.000 out of it:-) Motown the musical. I recommend it. The Jackson 5 stole the show for most. For me it was marvin gaye. The system in the shaftesbury theatre is heavy. Was impressed with the low frequencies. Crystal clear mids and tops. £7 wine!

    • dilly November 9, 2018 at 11:59 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it. Missing the match tomorrow due to a social occasion when Poch would be wise to select KWP in the line up at the expense of Ben Davies and drop Eriksen for Skipp. Yes drop Eriksen for Skipp. Too bold? Naturally it wont happen but I have said it! Dropping Alli for Llorente ought to come into the consideration as well but that wont happen either!

      • Tappaspur November 10, 2018 at 9:52 am

        Shame luke amos is injured. He was close to getting a game. KWP over davies all day long for me though he had a tough game against the hammers. Got bullied.

        • Harry Hotspur November 10, 2018 at 10:08 am

          My cat is better than Davies right now. And I neither own a cat or like cats.

  • dilly November 9, 2018 at 9:50 pm

    Cruel on gallant Haringey Borough conceding a goal in the 90th minute to AFC Wimbledon.

    • dilly November 9, 2018 at 9:55 pm

      No fairytale at Coles Park but what a performance by Haringey.
      The non-league club gave this everything.
      (BBC Sport)

  • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    Ref has been an absolute disgrace. Given the league side e v e r y t h I n g

  • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    We’re still in this. I got 10/1 in coral for Haringay to win. Come on lads.

  • Elevenstonedidiots November 9, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    As i said before theres a remake of The Money Pit in there somewhere starring Daniel LEVY as Ton Hanks and Pochettino as Shelly Long

  • Tappaspur November 9, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    Planned to go watch Haringey borough fc later. Misses calls me from work all jolly saying she’s got us two tickets to go see Motown the musical at the shaftesbury theatre. Arrrgh. Id better get ready! Paul Smith whistle 🙂

    • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      Ooo I didn’t know they was on the tele. 7/1 Haringay win. Worth a sneaky 5er

    • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 6:02 pm

      Tape it and watch it after. Expect its a sell out for cup v a league 1 side.

  • Tappaspur November 9, 2018 at 4:46 pm

    Passed the new place late last night with some of her LEDs on. She’s looking sexy. An engineering marvel. You can see her from bruce grove. My favorite view is the one from my flats. Great view of her from ally pally at night too. Cant wait for my spurs to come home. It feels strange not having the manor a wash with yids on match days. Ill tell you something else lots and lots of kids are wearing the colours. We’re reeling them in. I’m proud to say I worked on the project. Made a good good few quid! Not going back to work till February.

    • Paddio November 9, 2018 at 6:33 pm

      The stadium is a victim of Levys incompetence, if he said two years from the start most of the ill feeling wouldn’t be there

  • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 3:28 pm

    If only. Rebuild WHL to exact definition.

    Opening game in the NWO arena is a 15 minute long film on the big screen of Levy pointing and laughing. Then everyone settles down for the Bournmouth match in what will be dubbed….”The Race for 6th”

    • Harry Hotspur November 9, 2018 at 3:37 pm

      Marry me 😂

      • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 3:52 pm

        Ha!….. Anuvva one after my money

        • Harry Hotspur November 9, 2018 at 3:58 pm


    • Tappaspur November 9, 2018 at 4:59 pm

      You gotta let the old place go mate. Its gone. :<\ we should've bumped it up to 50.000 seats a decade ago

      • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 6:37 pm

        Oh its gone alright. I’ll never forget what these parasites have done though.

    • Legoverlass November 9, 2018 at 5:02 pm

      During which Levy will be tapping up Eddie Howe about being the next young unproven won nothing “project manager” when Pooch flys the coup.”Eddie my boy you understand that the project never ends,it is and always will be jam tomorrow, there is no investment in the squad just player sales before buying cheap and young and the objective is to cream the most revenue from the CRN ‘s whilst never actually winning anything. Oh and don’t ever bother me with transfer requests as I will be busy in the Daniel Levy suite building more houses and hotels. One other thing is that you need to persuade the players to wear helmets and shoulder pads like we are flogging in the worlds largest merchandise shop. NFL rules Eddie remember that. Are we understanding each other Eddie, never forget Eddie it’s all about the readies my boy “

      • Paddio November 9, 2018 at 6:30 pm

        Poch is back on the Levy bus, must be promised something

      • Is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? November 9, 2018 at 6:39 pm

        Old Ed is used to a bit of rusky cash…..dunno if he’ll enjoy Levy’s way.

      • Ronan November 10, 2018 at 8:24 am

        “Eddie my boy you understand that the project never ends,it is and always will be jam tomorrow..”

        Eddie at first press conference: “I’m very excited about the project here..”

        • Harry Hotspur November 10, 2018 at 9:13 am

          Plot twist: AVB crashes presser – he is naked – and singing show tunes… ‘Gonna wash that man right outta my hair🎼’

          • Ronan November 10, 2018 at 10:49 am

            Hehe backed by BMJ wearing a tutu and a nude human train of other luminaries of the tavistock project .. Franco, Juande, Damien, Frankie Arnesen, Jacques, Pleaty…

    • Lord Croker November 9, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      With only half seats sold.

  • Only Me. November 9, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    Luckily in the list of things that will likely go wrong…this is not one of them. I would not put it past Levy though to find out he has applied for a charity HQ that looks like a football stadium to bypass some sort of tax implications.