Mark Clatternburg’s problem is that he genuinely believes that he’s a star of the show. Part of the spectacle.
Only a couple of months ago, the bewigged and positively theatrical referee signed up to a management agency that handles actual football players.
Clatternburg signed his contract in public, in fact in a bar; in figure a hugging dark outfit plus the ubiquitous designer scarf whilst sporting a fashionably large watch.
Mark looked every inch the modern footballer.
The only two glaring incongruities being that he clearly isn’t a footballer, and every photo of a footballer I’ve ever seen signing a deal, are doing so in an office of some description.
The contract was cancelled after just 12 days.
His signature flouted numerous Professional Game Match Officials Limited regulations and a spokesman for the PGMOL issued a one line statement,
‘Mark has decided not to work with the agency and as far as PGMOL is concerned that is the end of the matter.’
My issue with Clatternburg is that his manner is so affected that he cannot be fit for purpose.
His default instinct isn’t make the right call.
His default instinct is to ask himself, ‘What would Mark Clatternburg do?, Which am-dram shape would Mark Clatternburg choose to throw in order convey his instruction? How would Mark Clatternburg stand, what pose would Mark Clatternburg strike, right mow?’
The Premier League is too fast, too furious, too packed with deceits to indulge the ridiculous vanities of a man more focused upon his next pirouette than controlling a game.
Last night’s game went from being a crackerjack derby to a series of brawls in sink estate beer garden.
Neither team acquitted themselves with any dignity.
Sure, that heat was on even before a ball was kicked, but it is my submission that had the PGMOL sent 4 officials who were up to the task, then much if perhaps not all of the resultant discord could have been avoided.
There’s a lot a talk about retrospective sanctioning flying around this morning.
Partizan fans desperately attempting to put a moral cigarette paper between the actions of Peter Sutcliffe and the actions of Fred West.
The only staring role for Mark would be in Carry On Referring.
Clatternburg must go.
