Date: 31st December 2017 at 12:56pm
Written by:

Gotta love an exciting, eye-catching transfer rumour. Nothing quite like it for fuelling a football fantasy. Β Especially amongst Flat Earthers who, so devoid of genuine reasons to celebrate anything tangible their world contract extensions, a lump of concrete setting with a long metal pole in it are orgasmic events. The mere threat of aΒ Brazilian starlet called Malcom has become a rather raunchy daydream.

This Malcom business is cobblers.

Lyall Thomas, well known schmoozes of the press office at Spurs told us via Sky Sports that there was NO bid made. Moreover the club do not expect much activity at all next month.

Who is this Malcom chap anyway? Who cares! Great prospect! Get him I’m Daniel! Poch know s a winner when he sees one! Levy time!

You sad lonely sea lions.

This Bordeaux ‘attacker’ is another defective no mark from France waiting to sting whichever poor git ends up shelling out for him.

The boy’s in his third season for Bordeaux and he’s scored 15 times in 60 odd appearances. Yet you want to believe that he’s worth up to Β£40million?

Why do you do it to yourselves?

 
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?
  • Harry Hotspur December 31, 2017 at 5:37 pm
  • David Dillenberg December 31, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    Brief Interjection: Strange to think Welbeck chose Arse instead of Spurs and can’t get a regular game these days!!

    • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 5:22 pm

      F*** him.

      • David Dillenberg December 31, 2017 at 5:24 pm

        I would have taken him at the time but yet another player seems to have lost his way.

        • David Dillenberg December 31, 2017 at 5:26 pm

          *Blighted by injury and loss of form on his return.

          • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 5:31 pm

            Disappeared into the black hole that is the Arse Anal.

      • Harry Hotspur December 31, 2017 at 5:39 pm

        In the face

  • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    gloster1861
    I’ll send half a crate.

    Put a bottle or two in it

  • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Yidfo put this up..really iys brilliant..

    https://youtu.be/A8x73UW8Hjk

  • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    Anyone see the Man in the Tower?

    • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      Do you mean man in the high castle? Disappointing imo

      • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 4:46 pm

        I agree, interesting concept but it kind of fell flat.

      • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:52 pm

        I never saw ut nit much to watch lately. Do like Vikings mind you

    • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      Ron, have you seen The Indian Detective? It’s about a cop from Toronto.

      • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:51 pm

        No…whats it on?

        • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 4:55 pm

          Netflix, it is entertaining.

          • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:59 pm

            Will check it out

          • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 5:00 pm

            Do you promise?

            • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 5:04 pm

              Yep, a cop with a sense of humor

  • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Well, I’ve watched all 24 episodes of Peaky Blinders now. What next? Any suggestions?

    • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      I think you saw Line of Duty Glos?
      I liked Godless..slow but well done

      • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:28 pm

        Godless? I’ll take a peek.

        • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:31 pm

          Very Serge Leone style
          But stick with it. Its more loke a novel that a superman comic

    • Caspurs♿️ December 31, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      Take a break and read a book?

      • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:26 pm

        A pwoper book? Maybe the Barchester Chronicles.

        • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:30 pm

          I’d love the BBC adaptation with Alan Rickman amongst other great actors.

        • Caspurs♿️ December 31, 2017 at 4:30 pm

          If that’s your choice, why not.

        • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 4:32 pm

          Half way through Contact by Carl Sagan atm. Can recommend if you haven’t read it.

          • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:34 pm

            Great film. Is it faithful to the book?

            • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 4:35 pm

              Can’t really remember the film so not sure. A good read anyway.

          • Caspurs♿️ December 31, 2017 at 4:35 pm

            Is it a story of how good triumphs over evil? I just love happy endings.

            • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 4:36 pm

              I’ll let you know when I finish it!

            • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 5:01 pm

              The film has a realistic ending. The US administration realizes that the experiment produced intriguing findings of possible contact and cover it up.

    • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      My favourite all time
      True Detective 1
      Also The Night Of was great
      American Crime was great

      • gavlav December 31, 2017 at 4:33 pm

        True detective 1 was a masterpiece

        • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:35 pm

          Gav right on it was the very best!
          The relationship between Maythew Machonachie and Woody Harrelson was top notch

    • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Black mirror and inside number 9, bloody excellent

      • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:29 pm

        Black Mirror is scifantasy/horror?

        • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:32 pm

          It’s a bit of everything, a little like a modern version of the twilight zone. Sort of a dystopian commentary on the perils of technology. Both black mirror and inside number nine are anthologies, very dark and so well written. Honestly, I watch a lot and these two are the most thought provoking and entertaining shows currently out there.

    • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      I loved The Street too
      Happy Valley I think you saw
      Breaking Bad was great too

      • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:35 pm

        Breaking Bad is incredible!

        • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:37 pm

          Watch the first True Detective

          • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:39 pm

            Done, slightly too slow for me but those McConaughey monologues are something special

            • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:40 pm

              The relationship thpugh with Harrelson who was a simple classic cop is what made it work

              • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:42 pm

                https://youtu.be/A8x73UW8Hjk

                For me, the greatest moment

                • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:49 pm

                  Insanely brilliant!!!

              • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:44 pm

                Watch black mirror and inside number nine, it’s so different to the usual stuff, so clever and well made

                • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:50 pm

                  Will try it thanks Yiddo!
                  Liked the orig Twighlite Zone but never been big on Sci fi

                  • Yiddo December 31, 2017 at 4:55 pm

                    I wouldn’t really classify it as sci fi, it’s not really the idea of it. Difficult to explain but you’ll see what I mean. I am by no means a fan of sci fi. Inside number nine is more humorous but the humour is so dark it’s picking cotton

                    • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:57 pm

                      Will watch them !

    • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 4:37 pm

      Stranger Things?

  • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Many good business people have patience. Footie fans generally dont.
    There is a great divide there. Thats the dynamic.
    Spurs have to produce. Fans expect to see at least increments of success to keep them hopeful.
    Many have lost hope.
    But for me its still early as old as I am.
    Give me a good game of footie with us winning and its like champagne to me..of course sone 2 days later with start moaning again
    What can you do.

    • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      What’s early RW? Poch’s tenure? Surely not Daniel Levy’s reign? DL has reigned longer than George VI.

      • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:29 pm

        It could be a lot worse.
        Its not like we were the greatest club the world has ever seen ffs

        • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:32 pm

          No. Irving Scholar was dismal, Sugar unfortunately pretends to have more money than he actually has. He was fake news years before Trump.

    • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Too much champagne gives me a headache. So does Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea and both Manchester’s.

      • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:30 pm

        I love Tottenham fuck those bastards. Then celebrate with a reasonable amount of half decent Champagne

        • gloster1861 December 31, 2017 at 4:33 pm

          Veuve Cliquot.

          • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:36 pm

            Acceptable

        • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 4:38 pm

          I think you are well aware of my love for Tottenham. My father was affectionately known as Champagne Jack, not because he drank so much of it but he liked to treat others to it.

          • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:39 pm

            HD its time to get into ypu dads shoes and send me a bottle!😊

            • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 4:42 pm

              Next time we meet up.πŸ‘

              • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:44 pm

                Im only joking but lets celebrate anyway !

  • SeattleSpursGuy December 31, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    A non-football related tip for those on Twitter: follow Swear Clock @swearclock

    It tells you the time on the half hour in very sweary terms. The last few have been:

    Felch Your Aunt In The Thumb With A Rancid Dog It’s 3:30PM

    Hitler With Five Pork Swords In His Ringpiece It’s 2:30PM

    I LOL’d

  • Mattspurs December 31, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    He can’t even spell Malcolm properly, that’s the main reason we shouldn’t get this guy in

    • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:21 pm

      What the el

  • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    Is our game v swans live on Sky?

    • Harry Hotspur December 31, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      Sky Sports Premier League
      Sky Sports Main Event
      NOW TV UK
      Sky Sports Premier League Ireland
      Sky Go UK

      • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 3:25 pm

        Awww Harold, you are the font of all knowledge

  • SeattleSpursGuy December 31, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    Transfer stories are amazing. The headline screams Spurs target Bordeaux’s Brazilian attacker Malcom. The story says we haven’t bid for him and are unlikely to do so.

    • Harry Hotspur December 31, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      What’s even better is that this article then triggered many others – all recycling the ‘BRAZILIAN SUPERSTAR’ aspect, yet failing to mention the inside source at the club that denied we’d even placed a bid.

      Hence my endless whining for authoritative source articles. The alternative is some clown steps in HITC doo doo and treads it all over this blog’s carpets.

      After an hour or so at least two regular readers have decided the player would be a good addition.

      Instant idiocy.

      • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 3:21 pm

        To be fair Harold it was reported on The Mailonline, doesn’t make it anymore real just a smidge more credible perhaps?

  • Gavlav December 31, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    Zara
    Malcolm McDonald scored a lot for Newcastle, Amy McDonald was an airhead, Jim McDonald is King of the Green And White Army.

    Wasn’t Jim McDonald the pissed up bloke off corrie

    • ronwol196061πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ December 31, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      Malcom Macdonald was a singer for the Dooble Brothers

  • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    win our game in hand and its only 19 points……

    • Freund or Foe December 31, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      Lose it, and we’re 19 points off relegation.

      • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 3:02 pm

        How could we lose, we have Harry Kane?

  • David Dillenberg December 31, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    Currently indisposed for the day wishing HH and all fellow posters a happy and healthy new year.

  • 61SpursNut🌰 December 31, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Rumours of De Bruyne’s demise are greatly exaggerated.

  • Jack December 31, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Could be another mbappe?

    • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      More likely another Berahino.

      • SeattleSpursGuy December 31, 2017 at 3:25 pm

        Saw a stat that Berahino last scored on 27 Feb 2016. Since then Harry Kane has scored 44 league goals.

        • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 3:26 pm

          Yeah but Levy could now get him very cheaply……..

    • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      Or another N’DooDoo

  • Threelagoon December 31, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Man City gonna sign Malcom for 40 poinds now 😊

  • 61SpursNut🌰 December 31, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    Sexy Beast

    61SpursNut🌰
    Ossie played 9 league games that season but none in Europe and Villa was gone.

    Ossie hit the bar just before Roberts scored the equaliser……
    Losing your touch Nutty!

    I don’t recognise 73rd minute substitutes πŸ˜›

    • Sexy Beast December 31, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      Ahhh i see!
      That’s Nuts……

  • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    Fair play Hodgeson too.

  • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    KDB & Jesus injured, let’s see what effect that has on their form…

    • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 1:59 pm

      Yay, we’re back in the title race! πŸ˜‹

      • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 2:04 pm

        Not quite, but that’s not much different to us losing Toby, Wanyama & Rose, they down Stones, KDB & Jesus.

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 2:02 pm

      Sadly it won’t make one iota of difference cos theyve stockpiled about 11 quality number 10’s.

      • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 2:05 pm

        Yeah it will, if KDB’s out for 5 to 10, massive difference.

        • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 2:32 pm

          He’s a special player, yeah theyl miss him but I reckon its beyond a problem for them now with the resources they have. Theyl be fine.

  • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    De Bruyne leg casted up, not good.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    Failures. Somebody beat these fucks please!?

    • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 1:55 pm

      Utter cack, Benteke should have taken it I thought, pussy.

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 1:56 pm

        On a plate. Dear oh dear.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    I knew it would be today. God damn.

  • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    Pen get in!!!!

  • REM1690 December 31, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    Yea that’s all we need- another second rate downgrade from the 2Euro French League like Serge Aurier. It’s even more second rate than the Scottish League now!!

  • McG ⚽⚽ December 31, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    Townsend lol, twat.

    • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 1:42 pm

      Booiiinnng

  • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    I’m betting on this Malcolm.
    https://youtu.be/WbTsIdnKUD4

    • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      That’s him.

    • melcyid December 31, 2017 at 2:01 pm

      muggeridge was one as was allison

  • Zara December 31, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    Malcolm McDonald scored a lot for Newcastle, Amy McDonald was an airhead, Jim McDonald is King of the Green And White Army.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    Well Stoke didn’t do very well. Palace to nick this. Why not?

    • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      Have you bet on them nicking it Gaz?

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 1:32 pm

        God no. ☺

        • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 1:33 pm

          They’ve got a chance then πŸ˜‰.

  • Zara December 31, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    64mins Still Nil Nil

  • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    Not wishing to cause any offence to anyone (on this blog) whose name is Malcolm but, shame on you.

    • Zara December 31, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      I remember a young Squaddie named Malcolm, for some reason they called him Spud.

      • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:41 pm

        Did he have a chip on his shoulder?

        • SpurAndy πŸ’Ο€ December 31, 2017 at 1:51 pm

          Or maybe married a lady called Maris?

          • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:58 pm

            You think he was a piper?

  • Zara December 31, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Spurs Shirts with Malky’s name on them would sell for around Β£109:50, get him signed, can’t be any worse than Paulinho !

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? December 31, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Another one from the buyrite Ligue 1 catalogue.

  • melcyid December 31, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    malcom the name says it all

  • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    The name Malcolm reminds me of 1970s British council estates, tower blocks, white people, AC/DC t-shirts and Brummie accents.

    So it’s a no from me.

  • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Seconds out …

    • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Happy New Year Spurtster! Hope you and the Mrs. have a grand year.

      • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:23 pm

        Thank you, kind sir. I wish you, the fragrant Mrs HD and all of your precious extended family peace and prosperity for the coming year.

  • Horndog πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ December 31, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    Malcolm, scmalcolm. Pfft. Spot on.

    • πŸ’‹ December 31, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      Malcolm Powder (puff).