Thank goodness Arry Redschnapps is no longer here. Can you imagine it? I can…
We’ve never seen naffink like it to be fair. Bare bones. I’ve told the chairman at this rate I might have to get on the trumpet and sort out a few specials in the January sales. Nah, I ain’t spoke to him. He’s looking at lifts. I told him to just laugh it off and think of what he’ll do to ‘is arches. Some birds like short men. Jamie? Jamie’s alright, but you’d need to ask him.
Harry Winks – ankle. Harry Kane – hamstring/knee. Michelle Form – knee. Dele Alli – hamstring. Toby Alderweireld – hamstring. Hugo Lloris – hip flexor strain. Victor Wanyama – hip cartilage.
‘Hip Flexor’ sound like a character from the Mad Max franchise. Or a Mad magazine take-off.
I did make an analogy about running in the Grand National every fortnight would result in a yard full of dead horses, but as I recall I was shouted down by self aggrandising two bobs who were so dead set on telling everyone they were ‘on their way to Wembley’ every other week they didn’t want to listen.
Playing one’s third goalkeeper against a plucky side but one ultimately destined to visit an awful lot of new grounds next season may seem like a jolly idea when you’re on your way home after a slender 1-0, but will it look quite so groovy against the tougher teams the division has to offer?
Poch isn’t the problem, he was only ever guilty of overtraining them. He never caused the old internal elastic bands to snap, or the joints to jolt out of place. I’ve also heard the good name of the boys and girls on our medical staff taken in vain. It isn’t their fault either.
Is it a coincidence that we’ve picked up so many injuries less than a third of the way in to the season? The sentient answer has to be ‘no’, because not one of these players was sidelined because of a collision using play.
It was the pitch what done for ’em!