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Good morning and welcome to Wolverhampton Wanderers vs Colchester United.

This game is a rehearsal not just for the new season, but specifically our Champions League games at Wembley stadium, as one can clearly discern from the expansive array of empty seats.

The person at Spurs who thought this was a buoyant commercial market for football is currently in a corporate toilet, attempting to flush themselves down it.

The teams are as follows:

Juve Neto; Lirola, Benatia, Rugani, Alex Sandro; Lemina, Hernanes, Asamoah; Pjanic, Pereyra; Dybala

Spurs  Vorm; Trippier, Ball, Carter-Vickers, Miller; Mason (C), Wanyama; Son, Carroll, Chadli; Janssen.

SUBS: McGee (GK), Glover (GK), Walker-Peters, Yedlin, Amos, Edwards, Lamela, Onomah, Walkes, Winks, Harrison.

For the next 90 minutes or for however long this game lasts, theboyhoytspur.com will bring you the best coverage since Ray Wilkins sprayed a traffic cop in chicken tikka masala and Waitrose scotch.

For those of you watching in black and white. Spurs are playing in apricot.

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