Tottenham Hotspur

Levynomics: Second Striker Starvation Explained

Levynomics: Second Striker Starvation Explained

Lack of game-time opportunity?

Money?

The problem is our bloody stupid club. We’re not a football club, we’re a heavily branded leisure complex that sells merchandise and advertising opportunities.

It was asked on here this afternoon ‘who in their right mind would sign up to play second fiddle to Kane?’ 

The question infers that’s there’s a problem that not even Slipper Of The Yard and a team of keen nosed bloodhounds can solve.

We have an extraordinary problem!

It’s true we have a problem, but it’s one that’s self inflicted.

Commercial acumen we have in spades. Think: a degree in Economics and Land Management.

Footballing acumen? We barely have enough to fill a teaspoon.

Invest in some decent players? That way madness and disaster lies! We’ll surely do a Leeds!

Spurs are the perennial bridesmaids because we improving our starting XI is viewed as dangerous.

Here’s the top 10 honour winning English clubs. If Spurs hadn’t been a successful side before Levy took over, we’d be lucky to be in the top 30 today.

CLICK TO EXPAND…

We’re perennial bridesmaids because Levy doesn’t have the either the requisite guts or wisdom to even hire someone who could build a team.

Levy as ever, came close. Pochettino was a probably a good idea. Snaffling up Paul Mitchell too was quite inspired.

But instead of helping them, the control freak clown handicapped whatever magic might have been made.

Here’s a brief list of ‘second fiddle strikers’.

Liverpool – Sturridge
Man Utd – Martial, Rooney, Rashford
Man City – Nolito, Iheanacho
Arsenal – Wellbeck, Iwobi, Giroud
Chelsea – too long to list

What a bunch of jabbering idiots those players are, not guaranteed a starting slot every week. What a bunch of second string toss pots!

Looking forward to our Europa exploits are you? You lucky people, sing up, I can’t hear you! SPURS ARE ON THEIR WAY TO WEMBLEY!

Sing damn you, it’s only a fiver. Sing up I say!

Some of our idiotic support are still mumbling that somehow we could see Defoe returning.

Until Levy is removed from proceedings, we will continue to muddle through, hoping against hope that one of these Janssens or Soldado’s comes good, which of course, they never will.

Scrap ‘To Dare Is To Do’ and replace it with ‘Battered Wives Welcome’.

 

View Comments (108)
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • MartinChiversAuntie January 10, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    we finished above three of the four teams in the list above last season and we are currently above two of them as it stands today

  • MartinChiversAuntie January 10, 2017 at 10:54 am

    Nkoudo

  • MartinChiversAuntie January 10, 2017 at 10:54 am

    balanced happy squad means we sit in the middle of the list of clubs you illustrate second strikers, logic suggest our approach is working last year and this year. It can be improved but not by the logic above alone

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Newy

  • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    Frontwheel 2
    Heart breaking news boys,I’m afraid the Living Chair Museum has closed down.

    The Living Chair Museum is dead … it didn’t have any chairs … and it wasn’t a museum.

    • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 10:21 pm

      Spiltters.

      • Real Fan? January 9, 2017 at 10:22 pm

        Splinters.

  • Mattspurs January 9, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    I’m lost.

    Sturridge, Nolito, Girond, Welbeck all cost less than Janssen.

    Sturridge and Welbeck make Anderton look healthy.

    Rashford, Iwobi and Iheanacho all came through the ranks

    Alli and Son are contributing nicely to the goals. One pacy attacking signing would be ideal. Personally I think letting Chadli go was a mistake

    • Real Fan? January 9, 2017 at 10:06 pm

      Sense.

  • Frontwheel 2 January 9, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    “We’ll push Vincent to the level we need”says Poch,and he will.

  • RecaroN17 January 9, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Very happy just got my ticket for a fiver, love the ropey league and Wembley.

    • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 9:57 pm

      Earlier today, a mate of mine offered me one for a cockle.

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:59 pm

        How was the cookie?

        • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 10:11 pm

          You’ll have to ask Fanny.

          • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 10:15 pm

            Ahhh , the exchange was made…

  • MiT January 9, 2017 at 9:49 pm

    Will the larger stadium revenue support stronger wages for a stronger player pool ?

    Many would question whether LEVY would ever support higher wages, even with more revenue.

    However, there is also no guarantee that ENIC will still control Spurs once the sell-on value skyrockets.

    Just curious as to whether the plans are there to truly support a squad with growing aspirations.

    • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 9:51 pm

      They know more about dark matter than they do about that question.

  • Frontwheel 2 January 9, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Heart breaking news boys,I’m afraid the Living Chair Museum has closed down.

    • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      Fookit, it’s just one thing after another…

      • gavlav January 9, 2017 at 9:46 pm

        Looks like Mrs. L is getting milk tray for valentines day again then.

        • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 9:48 pm

          Lucky lady.

          • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 9:53 pm

            She loves ’em.

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:50 pm

      Shit. Let’s hope there’s not a replay. Theyl be nothing to pass the time before kick off.

  • Chairboy Spur January 9, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    They should be called the Bodgers, because the bodgers were the original furniture makers in the beech woods of the Chilterns, only Chairboys sounds sexier.

    • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 10:23 pm

      Wonder if there connected to this shop near me.

      http://www.bodgersilford.co.uk

    • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 10:23 pm

      Chairboys is a little too close to Choirboys for if to sound sexy, for me. o_0

  • Real Fan? January 9, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Haha, Batshit being offered by Chelski as a makeweight to get Llorente from Swansea.

    • Frontwheel 2 January 9, 2017 at 9:36 pm

      Batshit ain’t batshit

      • Caspurs♿️ January 9, 2017 at 9:47 pm

        He’s guano have to move on if he wants playing time.

        • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 9:51 pm

          Sonars to see you crack a joke.

      • Real Fan? January 9, 2017 at 10:06 pm

        It’s a term of endearment, Fronty. He shudda picked us.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    If Leeds, moriense and belleneses score I’m rich beyond my wildest dreams.(exaggerated)

    • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 9:23 pm

      My wildest dreams these days have a street value of about £13.80 😆

      • gavlav January 9, 2017 at 9:25 pm

        Mine stretch to whatever the entrance fee is for the Living chair museum.

        • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:32 pm

          Its not £ 13.80 is it??

          • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:35 pm

            If it is I’ll see ya both there. Saying you were being a “living chair” does not stand up in court either…! That judge was against me from the start!

          • gavlav January 9, 2017 at 9:35 pm

            Hope they have a gift shop, I’ve got twenty quid on me might be tempted with a gingham stool cover for £6.20

            • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:39 pm

              I ordered one of them. They sent me a Gillingham stool cover…can’t get rid of it..

              • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 9:47 pm

                I got an envelope full of sh*t. They misunderstood the stool bit.

                • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 9:51 pm

                  Ha! Ordering over the net eh?

  • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Living Chair Museum in High Wycombe only has 3 stars on Facebook.

  • DC Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Cambridge 1-0 Leeds

  • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    They are called the Chairboys because their stools aren’t any good.

    • 61SpursNut🌰 January 9, 2017 at 9:13 pm

      Unlike Manure, Arse and Pooh who have exceptional stools.

  • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    Ooh. Hang on.

    SeattleSpursGuy
    Wikipedia is not helping. Why are Wycombe called the Chairboys?

    High Wycombe has a tradition of furniture making.

    • 61SpursNut🌰 January 9, 2017 at 9:04 pm

      Whoosh!!

      • Razspur January 9, 2017 at 9:05 pm

        They were always propping up the League Table.

      • DC Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 9:07 pm

        Reports that the Chairboy manager will be on the hot seat if his boys are unable to stand up against the high press. Expect the Chairboys to sit back and defend.

  • Real Fan? January 9, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    “If Spurs hadn’t been a successful side before Levy took over, we’d be lucky to be in the top 30 today.”

    This is Harrynomics.

    • 61SpursNut🌰 January 9, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Harry’s aunt is in fact an uncle.

    • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:43 pm

      Brilliant!

  • Horndog 😎 January 9, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    We’re gonna lick ’em, those chumps from Wycombe!

    • Tony January 9, 2017 at 8:55 pm

      Jameson still won’t score

      • Spursy January 9, 2017 at 11:03 pm

        No, but Janssen will.

  • SeattleSpursGuy January 9, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    Wikipedia is not helping. Why are Wycombe called the Chairboys?

    • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 8:36 pm

      They used to get carried to the pitch in sedan chairs by the ball boys?

      • SeattleSpursGuy January 9, 2017 at 8:37 pm

        Kind of like Levy now?

        • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 8:40 pm

          Exactly, wearing ermine and crown.

    • 61SpursNut🌰 January 9, 2017 at 8:39 pm

      According to https://thebeautifulhistory.wordpress.com/clubs/wycombe-wanderers/ it’s because of High Wycombe’s tradition of furniture making.

      • SeattleSpursGuy January 9, 2017 at 8:44 pm

        So why not the Table Guys or Divan Dudes?

        • DC Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:50 pm

          I suppose they made more chairs than tables or Divans.

    • DC Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:40 pm

      Big chair making industry at one time in Wycombe

  • Frontwheel 2 January 9, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    Expensive coat envy.

  • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    Colchester United fans used to chant…

    🎼 The Wickham sing,
    We don’t know why
    ‘Cos after the match
    They’re gonna die 🎼

  • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    So another chance for Vinny.

    • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:28 pm

      If he isn’t found hanged in a Premier Inn bathroom beforehand, of course.

      • MiT January 9, 2017 at 8:36 pm

        Whoa. Dark.

      • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 8:55 pm

        Ooh. Hang on.

      • Legoverlass January 11, 2017 at 10:53 am

        He would never get into the right position to hang himself ……

  • JerusalemMan January 9, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Comedy on a par with Peter & Dudley. Keep it coming H.

  • Razspur January 9, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    Spurs currently 9/2 fav for the FA Cup.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    First time arse av had an away cup draw since 1983….

  • SeattleSpursGuy January 9, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    That was quick (said the actress to the bishop)

  • Razspur January 9, 2017 at 8:16 pm

    Tough draw, we need fighters.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 8:15 pm

    Play the kids….!!haha!

  • Hartley January 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    Sweet

    • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      As a nut.

  • UnkleTaff January 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    That’ll do.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    First out!!! Ha

  • Razspur January 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    Broody hell there is a 50 sec lag on my BBC 2 stream
    Spurs v Wycombe

    • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 9:00 pm

      Razspur
      Broody hell there is a 50 sec lag on my BBC 2 stream
      Spurs v Wycombe

      BBC2 on a stream?! Buy a telly, man.

      • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 9:06 pm

        Licence?

        • Spurstacus 💋 January 9, 2017 at 9:49 pm

          Needed even if you stream or catchup.

  • Razspur January 9, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    For the £17m we paid for Janssen sell him to West Ham and watch him take the Premier League by storm,
    To be or not to be, that is the question !

  • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    Here come some real balls.

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 8:11 pm

      And keowns gonna be churning em..

      • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:19 pm

        He’ll be right at home.

  • Harry Hotspur January 9, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    Plymouth is a genetic experimentation zone.

  • Captain Cluedo January 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    Bring Defoe back???? No. He’s had his time…getting long in the tooth and above all else thinks he’s a chance for the next WC. Jannsen looks awkward sort of “Malcolm MacDonald ” type striker….pump the ball over the defence and chase it….for those who don’t remember SuperMac as he was known check You.Tube..

  • Pocha Smurf January 9, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    I agree with SpurAndy on the previous blog

    Defoe makes a whole lot of sense

    • Frontwheel 2 January 9, 2017 at 8:28 pm

      Never

  • Hartley January 9, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    Number 28 looking for a match.

    • Hartley January 9, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      Rochelle at the Lane.

      • Hartley January 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm

        *Rochdale ffs

    • Hartley January 9, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      *26

  • Razspur January 9, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    Leandro Dummiao the answer to our prayers £1.5m and 3 Boxes of Curly Wurleys, get it over the line before another Window closes !

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzIIOMOgHPY

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    Nearly draw time. Brentford (h). That’s my guess. Anyone who guesses correct gets a 40 second free for all in Joe lewis’s powder room.

    • SpurAndy January 9, 2017 at 7:59 pm

      I think we’re gonna do Leeds.

      • Caspurs♿️ January 9, 2017 at 7:59 pm

        Bout fakin time!

    • Caspurs♿️ January 9, 2017 at 7:59 pm

      I didn’t know Joe Lewis was a user.

    • UnkleTaff January 9, 2017 at 8:00 pm

      Chelsea away.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    I just watched all 35 goals janssen got last year, cheers antspurs for link. Has he been victim of some bodysnaching episode?! Left foot, right foot, head, he looked a beast….even with poor opposition the instinct is still impressive. Is that the same fella?!

    • Tottenham central January 9, 2017 at 8:00 pm

      Pav would have scored 60.

      • Caspurs♿️ January 9, 2017 at 8:02 pm

        Ounces? Kilo’s?

        • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 8:03 pm

          There’s a class A theme this eve….

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? January 9, 2017 at 8:10 pm

        Suuuuuuuuuuuuuupa, super Pav…..

  • irik the blob January 9, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    H
    We all know the problem with Danny
    The even bigger problem is : whats the answer to the first problem ???

  • Pocha Smurf January 9, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    I’m where it’s happenin

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