Home » Levy To Stun The Fanbase

Levy To Stun The Fanbase

By The Boy -

I knew this barman.

Twenty five years ago he was in his seventies and a more world weary a man you would struggle to meet. Len had a devilish sense of humour, but the overwhelming drain upon his life was dealing with the public.

There were a few of us who over time were able to tune into his ESP waves and were able to tune into what he was saying in his head as he handed the latest ‘goddamn asshole’ their change. Len had more expressions and utterances of contempt than there were scratched records on the Wurlitzer.

One young beau out with a girl on what was a clearly a doomed first date didn’t catch Len whisper under his breath to no one but himself, ‘couldn’t get laid in a Chinese whorehouse with a pocketful of rice…’

Given his vintage, a favourite question pitched at him was why wasn’t he retired. He wasn’t retired because he needed the money but he had this stock line for masking the personal nature of the truth.

I did retire once. Until I was in garden one time and figured I was watering the grass just so I could cut it again.

And here we have Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. On the eve of nothingness because they blew the Champions League …in order to qualify for it again.

The draw for the Third Round of the FA Cup took place and we got Aston Villa at The Lane.

What that news did was get me thinking, was what inspires kids to follow Spurs in 2016?

Given the deeply unpleasant Hydra that football has become, bragging rights; basking in the reflected glory of tangible achievement is even more important than ever.

Your average human being is wholly disinterested in having the glacial business of steady final league positions and solvency mansplained to him or her …at the best of times.

In fact, I would argue that nobody in their right mind follows a football team based upon anything as inherently dull. Jesus wept. People come to football to find a release from all that tedious garbage.

Churches used to be full of bores and now they’re empty (apart from the ones offering instant lunacy).

Football is tribal to the point of being completely atypical from the way society now actually operates. I’ve experienced more moments of spontaneous hugging, dancing up and down – not to mention moments of chronic despair with total strangers at football matches than I have with members of my own family.

So why are we watering the lawn, purely in order to need to cut it again?

‘Oh Harry, you really have no grip on reality, thank goodness you’re not running the….’

Binned.

I’ve no time for nerds trying to justify a spreadsheet to which they don’t have ANY access to. That’s like reading the review of a restaurant by some clown who hasn’t actually eaten there.

So if Spurs don’t win anything, what’s the pull?

How do we recruit fresh meat, or does the entire process depend upon grandparents attempting to indoctrinate their progeny?

If you’re still reading, well done for suffering the wrong end of 500 words ‘pitching’ the FA Cup to our fanbase.

Yes, me selling the idea of us winning a bloody trophy.

Why am I selling?

Because apparently in Britain in 2016, the FA Cup and the League Cup are two bob.

Why?

I blame the ubiquitous sponsorship deals.

When they changed the League Cup to the Milk Cup it was a seminal moment for me. The first time I recall being outraged as a consumer.

All the re-branding of these competitions has ever done is dilute things which once has huge character and huge significance to fans.

Yeah, but come on H, you acknowledged that Len needed the money… so what’s the problem?

Binned.

Len needed the money because his career as a bartender – after he participated very enthusiastically in the Vietnam War – didn’t sufficiently provide for Mrs Len and himself in their anecdotage.

Over the last 30 years the FA have systemically traded land for beads and mirrors.

Worra shocker.

But the real villains of the piece are you lot.

The fans.

Most of you dolts have been so compliant with the financial aspirations of your clubs, that genuine achievement has gone for a Burton.

We’ve hit 700 words and I’m mindful that the bulk of dolts are using mobiles etc.

Hey Levy, why don’t you stun the fanbase and try to win something?

It would trigger the sort of <del>goodwill</del>, sorry – FAN ENGAGEMENT that you’ve always sought.

Give it go, you mad ****.

guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

210 Comments
newest
oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Follow Us
Latest Newsletter Posts