Date: 10th May 2017 at 3:56pm
Written by:

This may well set the tone for the forthcoming transfer window.  Gladys believes we’ve agreed terms for Burnley star Michael Keane …as have Liverpool, Manchester United and Newcastle United.

The English 24 year old has been linked with a number of clubs and one has to wonder what might swing it for him to go one way or another. Money is an obvious one, but it may also depend upon how important first team football is to the boy.

Apologies for the late posting. It’s been a strange day.

I ordered a corner sofa some weeks ago and this morning I got a call from the driver. ‘We’re just setting off, are you in?’ ‘Yes mate, I’m in. Keep on trucking’.

A while later a truck turns up and I have to mention at this stage I am now located in a most rural setting. In my postcode I think there may be 4 or possibly fiver other people. Converted barn overlooking about 7 acres of farmland.

So the truck gets here and the man says, ‘corner sofa unit for you, I believe’.

We go inside and confirm where it is to go in the space I’ve more or less cleared. I abhor manual labour and ask the man if there was to be a drink in it for him, would he mind awfully taking a remaining two-piece upstairs as upon reflection, it’s not needed.

The chap and his mate do what they do and shunt the thing into an upstairs bedroom. They return to their van and we make smalltalk whilst they shuffle stuff around in the back of the truck

At this moment, another truck turns up.

A redheaded fella just out the cab, walks up to us and says ‘corner sofa unit for you, sir’.

I look at him, the lads from the first truck look at him and then I say ‘these trucks aren’t from the same company are they?’

Both drivers say ‘no’ in unison.

The most recent guy to arrive has a digital hand-held thing like the Amazon boys have and reels off the name, the address and even the model of the couch.

One of the first guys to arrive says ‘I’ll have to fetch the paperwork.’

He returns from his truck and confirms that his corner sofa is for the barn next door.

The sofas were from different firms alright, both the same style and only about three shades different to each other.

Bizarre isn’t in it.

 
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • DC Hotspur May 10, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Is this couch story a metaphor that I don’t understand or just a whimsical story?

  • Caspurs♿️ May 10, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    From what I can tell, there must be only one sofa emporium in Yorkshire, which sells a wide variety of the same sofa, in an astonishing range of at least three shades!
    Wow, how times have changed…

    • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 5:56 pm

      “The sofas were from different firms alright”.

      This is how the big bang started.

      • Caspurs♿️ May 10, 2017 at 5:58 pm

        Owned by twin brothers/sisters (or other)?

      • Aussie in Switzerland May 10, 2017 at 6:54 pm

        God did it……😂

    • Harry Hotspur May 10, 2017 at 6:05 pm

      I’m in Worcestershire.

      • Spurstacus 💋 May 10, 2017 at 6:10 pm

        Saucy.

        • Harry Hotspur May 10, 2017 at 6:49 pm

          Bi – curiously enough drove past the factory last week. Amazing looking old gaff.

  • Sid Trotter May 10, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    Harold. You have a barn conversion with 7 acres. And a corner sofa unit? That’s a big barn

  • Sid Trotter May 10, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    Harold. A surreal day it seems you’ve had. I hope someone told you today you were beautiful too. Not in a passive platonic spiritual way. But a raw sex type of way.

    In other news. There is none

    • Harry Hotspur May 10, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      I cold cal clergymen and tell them how sexy I am in the raw every evening.

  • Caspurs♿️ May 10, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    61SpursNut
    Pwopa moving on a temporary basis.

    NOOoooo!

    • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 5:42 pm

      That`s just wasteful.

  • mikespurs May 10, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    Cliff hanger….. did you keep said sofa or replace it with the new one?

    • Real Fan? May 10, 2017 at 5:41 pm

      Who the hell is Cliff Hanger?

      • mikespurs May 10, 2017 at 5:42 pm

        The guy with the first sofa? Id hate to hear that they had to carry it out again.

        • Harry Hotspur May 10, 2017 at 5:44 pm

          It never left the van.

          • mikespurs May 10, 2017 at 5:45 pm

            Thank god. My minds at rest now

  • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    Anyone seen anything about the hotel next to the stadium being delayed for financial reasons?

  • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    At least Spurs will be coming to Newcastle next season. Is that a consolation?

    • Caspurs♿️ May 10, 2017 at 5:24 pm

      From where I’m sitting they’d be going…

      • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:24 pm

        That’s relativity for you.

    • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      Fackorf!

  • Spurstacus 💋 May 10, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    61SpursNut
    Me and Mrs Nut are moving to Newcastle in a couple of weeks. FAK!

    What a coincidence! Both of you? Woah. That sort of thing would freak FoFfy out.

    • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 5:08 pm

        That is not a completely accurate representation of Mrs Nut.

        • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:09 pm

          It’s blank..

          • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:24 pm

            Its a luverly kitty with hysteria.

  • Spurstacus 💋 May 10, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    61SpursNut
    Me and Mrs Nut are moving to Newcastle in a couple of weeks. FAK!

    Ugh.

  • AccringtonSpurs May 10, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Keane or Maguire would be grand.

    Would rather we kept hold of Dire tho – kinda key to the 4231 transitioning to 3 at the back during games.

    • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      Dier and Dele are a bromance. Gotta keep the magic alive, don’t split them apart.

  • MiT May 10, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    One of those stories you will always remember in family or social settings, HH. Good stuff. 🙂

  • RecaroN17 May 10, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Just think of all the coincedences that don’t happen.

    • Spurstacus 💋 May 10, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      I was just about to say that!

      • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 5:02 pm

        I`m still busy thinking……

        • Spurstacus 💋 May 10, 2017 at 5:03 pm

          Me too! Arghhh. Its happening again!

        • Gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 5:07 pm

          Do you do this busy thinking with your eyes shut to aid concentration?

          • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 5:11 pm

            No chance, that`s multitasking.

  • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Me and Mrs Nut are moving to Newcastle in a couple of weeks. FAK!

    • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      What, pwopa moving, or temp?

      • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 4:04 pm

        Pwopa moving on a temporary basis.

        • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 4:04 pm

          Wemberley may be a tad difficult next season.

          • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 4:06 pm

            Hope it all goes well Nutster. Surely we need to arrange a meet before you go, I doubt you`ll be back down for a while?

            • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 4:11 pm

              I’l be down a few times to see me ol’ ma so there’s opportunities …

              I doubt I’ll find the time to meet beforehand. The last game on Sunday will be spiffing though.

              • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 4:15 pm

                A memorable occasion, no doubt. Grab a flag for me if you can, I love a good wave.

    • gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      Global warming might help.

    • Harry Hotspur May 10, 2017 at 4:22 pm

      May god have mercy upon your souls.

      • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 5:07 pm

        I love you!

    • Horndog May 10, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      All the best Nuttsford! Will be thinking of you!

      • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 5:29 pm

        I love you too!

        • Caspurs♿️ May 10, 2017 at 6:01 pm

          Come back soon, weasel missya Nut.

  • Freund or Foe May 10, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    That would seriously freak me out. Coincidences are the work of the devil.

  • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Sofa so good.

  • gloster1861 May 10, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    So, it’s a beauty parade.

  • 61SpursNut🌰 May 10, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Artnoon all!