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‘How To Be Beyond Parody’ by Tottenham Fans

By The Boy -

When will fans stop back peddling, stop whining and start asking why Spurs don’t win anything anymore?

Levy apologists at the end of every season are busy clogging servers explaining to anyone daft enough to listen why the success of others is flawed.

How can one try to demean winning when winning is damn nigh everything?

Pulling holes in achievement is the work of the mentally frail and emotionally stunted.

Edited highlights include that the Chelsea side that won the league was mediocre. Manchester United’s ‘double’ was undermined (wait for this, it’s the best one…) by them being terrible to watch.

When cornered, asked to stop sneering and add something to the naysaying that actually makes sense, we are told that Spurs are nobler than these imposters, they refuse to participate in buying success.

Eh?

Come again?

How can one try to demean money when spending is damn nigh everything?

I cannot find the energy to even address the ridiculous situation we’re in having a ‘Sugar Daddy’ who adamantly refuses to part with a nickel.

Financial Fair Play was introduced some 4 seasons ago. Therefore all talk of oil money, blood money, people trafficking money etc is all extremely out of date.

The party with the 24 hour thumping music, the dwarf sex orgies and pitchers of cocaine is over. Gone. The house has subsequently been sold to a charming couple from Godalming who now run a flower-pressing business from what used to be the Glory Hole Room.

‘How To Be Beyond Parody’ by Tottenham fans would be a number one bestseller.

You cannot have it both ways. You can’t bang on about a steady ship with a close to zero net spend and then bemoan other clubs who do spend and (say this quietly) win stuff.

In fact, Spurs fans were even incensed by Leicester City who won the league by not obviously lavishing billions on their playing personnel.

The whining about money argument is fundamentally insane. Chelsea’s most recent purchases were more or less £30million per man. They won the league at a canter.

Money can’t guarantee success, only a child would suggest it. In football it is imperative to have someone who knows what they are doing with that money.

Jose winning the Europa League cup and the League cup whilst playing ‘terrible’ football you’ve told me. Jesus wept, I spent what felt like most of my life watching them hoover up trophies playing occasionally bleak football. United fans must feel as if they have woken up from a bad dream and Fergie is back at the helm. Hallelujah!

But no, your response is to back peddle and demean. Apologise and belittle. All this weakling language beggars belief.

Walker’s gone, Rose is more than hinting that others could follow. Winning and money go hand in hand in the 21st century.

It’s time to shake off the Stockholm Syndrome and in the words of The Jam ‘stop apologising for things you’ve never done’.

Poch is building something special I am told on a near hourly basis. What Poch is doing in fact is performing magic tricks that even Penn & Teller can’t fathom.

Tottenham will not be able to compete in the Champions League as the squad stands. Unless Tottenham make concerted efforts to match the inevitable improvements of their rivals then Tottenham will struggle to replicate recent form – especially given the very evident ‘challenges’ of Wembley.

If you have ‘faith’ then kindly find yourself a religious blog and share your thoughts with the other fruitcakes on there.

If you think that slow and steady monetary progress for an investment company is the positive thing here then kindly find yourself an economics blog and share your thoughts with the other dullards on there.

If you want to see Spurs do well, then stop making excuses and start lobbying for tangible progress and than means spending wisely and winning pots.

If you refuse to acknowledge that the opposite of winning is losing, if you refuse to acknowledge that nobody cares or remembers runners up, then here is a opportunity for you. Piss off and set up a rival to Wikipedia, a listing of things that nearly happened. Who came second in the 100M at the 2012 Olympics. Which horse finished being Red Rum the last time it won The National. That sort of stuff. Nobody’s done it yet and if you get in quick, you could corner the market.

 

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