The Arch-Deacon of Flat Earthers is loose again. Between Dan Kirkpatrick and John Crace, (article in link) ESPN really do have the knack of hiring dull clowns.
“Tottenham’s lack of transfer activity a sign of strength, growth from the club”
Thats’s Crace’s instantly mumbling, default apologetic, earnest pride in naff all headline. Please note the devoutly low key apologetic undertones in the fervent refusal to capitalise.
But I guess if you’re an emotionally stunted drone that draws succour from the glacial advancement of someone else’s investment company, you might feel content.
On the corner of Fingers Crossed and Deadbeat we find Crace pointing at how much Pogba cost and only just drawing short of giving us the full ‘Martin Cloake’ ..”.since the sale of Gareth Bale..” for the bazilyionth bloody time.
Jesus f____ing wept. It’s like the Sabotage Times’ SEO driven garbage died in vain.
“Spurs have moved on from the bad times of seasons past when chairman Daniel Levy’s failure to do deals was a matter of machismo rather than proper strategy.”
Crace, please. Daniel Levy is the reincarnation of John Inman, not John Wayne.
‘Welcome to Crace Brothers. Ooh, Captain Peacock have you seen my pussy? What have I told you about warming the tip of your tape-measure?!’
To suggest Levy was ever, could ever, be a tough guy has echoes ‘Levy Time’ myth. He’s time waster, and peripheral one at that.
I swear one of the saddest things I ever witnessed was Levy doing that Ice Bucket Challenge thing. President Perez wasn’t even aware he’d done it. He was far too busy ensuring Real Madrid’s reputation for winning trophies remained rock solid.
Meanwhile in London a short bald man was stood grinning – his poly-mix suit soaked through to his skin – thinking that the was one of the Groovy Gang. In on the joke. What a tool.
When Ferguson said that Levy was ‘different’, it wasn’t a complement. What he was saying was that Levy was a near psychotic time-waster. Not a football man.
“The lesson that Spurs manager, Mauricio Pochettino, knows only too well is that spending money on new players is no guarantee of anything.”
Aside from who actually writes like this (did you not know who our manager was?) …sadly for Pochettino and anyone else that believes this twaddle, is that the Premier League has never been more about money.
Equally, anyone with half a brain doesn’t need the fridge magnet wisdom of Crace to tell us that there are no guarantees in life.
I hate to break to some of you, but this is where talent comes in. As BMW have proved, buying one of their cars doesn’t make you a good driver. Without talent, success happens by chance.
Yes there is a disparity in revenue size between Spurs and lots of other big clubs – but this isn’t purely down to the number of match day seats to be sold.
The gap comes in the size of the fan base, which is entirely down to the laughing stock that is Spurs’ trophy cabinet. Like it or not, kids are attracted to success.
Spurs have become an inherently unsuccessful club.
We all have young nephews etc and the vast majority of them are sporting Barcelona, Real Madrid, Chelsea or Manchester United shirts.
You can whine about this, whilst dancing on the head of a pin on someone else’s blog because the cold truth is that normal people – opposed to obsessive and deranged apologists – associate winning leagues, trophies and competing routinely in the final stages of top table competitions such as the Champions League – with success.
So what does one do if one doesn’t have the money and one doesn’t have the talent?
Change your name to Daniel Levy? Well, John Crace appears to believe that Spurs’ best bet (and we should be piously proud of it) is to drop out of the rat race. Make our own clothes. Grow our own vegetables. Knit our own shoes.
The faith in youth is admirable. The desire to pick up pieces of carbon and polish them into diamonds is as noble as it ambitious. But neither are realistic or in any way sustainable models.
Just as relentlessly splurging cash isn’t a panacea either.
So the answer is rather anticlimactically, that you build a team.
Spend as wisely as you can as frequently as you can and if you are ever presented with the opportunity to do anything on the cheap, make bloody sure that it doesn’t jeopardise the entire mission.
Napoleon said not to interrupt an opponent when they making a mistake. Levy is not our enemy, he is simply an incompetent custodian of the brand. He cannot be fired, but he can be interrupted (admittedly less effectively than he could as we don’t have a fully functional Supporter’s Association, we have instead a blockage).
Crace is telling you that it’ll just be fine. Not to worry, Sit tight, don’t panic and try to enjoy the ride. In other words be passive and don’t look at hiring Wembley as a thin alternative to earning the right to play there, puff your chest out and don’t forget to mumble something or other about net spend and gradual improvement.
Now, both the unwillingness to spend and being incapable of winning anything go hand in hand with building and safeguarding an investment, but have zero to do with running a football club.
I’m not enjoying the ride, because I’m not a moron. I’m fatigued. In fact I’m straightforwardly worried that the impending Wembley fiasco is being completely underplayed despite a thick file of evidence based facts that point confidently at it being a really stupid idea.
It’s the Grand National of grounds. You do not ride there twice a month because you’d end up with a pile of dead horses.
Levy may be blissfully in denial, but there are some particularly choppy waters ahead for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club and anyone set on ‘enjoying the ride’ may want check that there isn’t a hole in the boat.
Rejoice yourself to death that we came second once. But please make sure there aren’t young children around you in Man Utd or Real Madrid shirts, or the chances are you’ll just get laughed at.