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How Not To Upgrade Your Stadium

By The Boy -

Lady Brady, her face as ever liberally buttered with cosmetics, is suffering from another bout of foot in mouth.

Speaking at a business summit at Stamford Bridge the Porn Baron henchwoman insisted that West Ham’s infestation of the Olympic  Stadium was a ‘dynamic’ success.

If your idea of dynamic is being unable to watch the game either because your view is appalling because your seat is too far away, or because the people in front of you refuse to sit down.

The fundamental problem here is that West Ham Football Club have found an Armani Suit in a charity shop, priced at just 60pence.

In their haste to purchase, they’ve failed to realise that the jacket and trousers are different sizes and neither fit them.

Why have has West Ham’s move from East Ham to Stratford been an unmitigated disaster?

The Metropolitan police insist there must be a police radio system in place before they will actually deploy officers inside the stadium.

As there isn’t such a system, the fans are left entirely unattended bar a smattering of stewards in hi-viz garb.

Is this an insane oversight or an exercise in being cheap?

The business model for the Olympic Dream was spot on. Affordable tickets for an incredibly accessible arena.

But back to the Armani Suit, West Ham are now wandering about boasting to anyone who’ll listen how luxurious their fabric is, but refusing to acknowledge the jacket would fit Tommy Cooper and the trousers were made for Max Wall.

The grim reality is that their arena is still very much an athletics stadium. That happens to now host football matches. Unsuccessfully.

Lady Brady added:

‘We have the best stadium. There are some great stadiums in this country but there is only one Olympic stadium and it’s ours and branded ours and it has really had a dynamic impact on the things that we can do.’

This is a chilling glimpse inside the mind of someone who thinks you can pick up a fabulous suit for 60p.

 

 

 

 

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