Date: 24th April 2018 at 9:39am
Written by:

Unless Daniel Levy can get a crackerjack hypnotist in soon, the impending transfer window could degenerate swiftly into an undignified stampede to get the hell out of Dodge City.

First man to make a move, to even beat Danny Rose out the door has to be the utterly hopeless Fernando Llorente.

A monumental ‘Buy Cheap, Buy Twice’ job, even by Levy’s own implausibly daft standards.

The Daily Mirror carries a come and get me quote from the ageing nag that does;t require much analysis.

“I enjoyed many wonderful moments at the club that I will never forget and Athletic will always hold a special place in my heart. If they do make me a proposal to come back, then I would have to think about it and yes, maybe it could happen.”

Fernando, or Nando as he is wont be called, really struggled this season at Wembley and made only 15 Premier League appearances and only one of those was from the starting eleven.

The 33 year old scored a solitary goal, against Swansea City, of course.

Tottenham aren’t going to approach this window all guns blazing, instead those of you poor souls who trudge to North London to be aggressively fleeced by ENIC will instead do so fuelled by the hope that the reheated leftovers of this season can somehow be corralled into producing more, with declined resources.

Has anyone got Derren Brown’s number?

 
Comments
  • Al April 24, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    No, but I’ve got Darren Bent’s number?

    • TyredMan 🚯 April 24, 2018 at 11:02 pm

      Barren Dent as he was known locally.

  • Nick April 24, 2018 at 12:34 pm

    If poch were Chelsea manager would he win things.discuss…

    • JackDLad April 24, 2018 at 12:48 pm

      Probably with the vast amount of money, but one thing is for sure, he would be “beri beri happy” and “sooo Calmmm”.

  • David Dillenberg April 24, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    In no particular order players deemed surplus to requirements:

    OUTS
    Aurier
    Rose
    Davies
    Trippier
    LLorente
    Sissoko
    Lamela
    Wanyama?

    INS
    Alli
    Kane
    Son
    Sanchez
    Dier
    Dembele
    Verts
    Moura

    I am thinking!

    • David Dillenberg April 24, 2018 at 12:21 pm

      In or out
      Dembele

      • David Dillenberg April 24, 2018 at 12:23 pm

        Ignored Toby as he is going.

        • Nick April 24, 2018 at 12:38 pm

          So we need to buy 4 full backs of quality! You see what’s out there don’t you,there’s none.thats why city bought Walker & Utd want Rose.they are the top standard & command fees of £50m plus.we won’t spend £200m over the next four years let alone on 4 full backs

    • Nick April 24, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      I’m not saying davies is good enough but he’s had a tough break this season,if a lb was fit he’d have had more rest but had had to play because rose has turned to glass.lamela is the only foreign player we have with any fight so would have to stay imo

    • Syd April 24, 2018 at 1:44 pm

      Why would lamela or wanyama be going

  • PlayitagainSamways April 24, 2018 at 11:31 am

    Pochettino makes mistakes and I can forgive him that.

    The problem is that he/we always have an excuse. Always.

    Next season it will be ‘the new destination’ excuse.

    Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

    The excuse in 2035:
    “Harry Kane’s a pensioner, he cant score 30 every year now”.

    I feel like the Premier league is the equivalent of a Supermarket league. Man Utd are Tesco, Chelsea Asda and we are the shiitty Spar.

  • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 10:49 am

    The Pin

    Can I please nominate Moussa Dembele ?

    If we were prepared to spend market rate transfer fees and wages he’d be long ago plying his trade mid-table or mesmerising the young lady fans of the MLS with his pirrouette prettiness. He is an ego player that always costs us at the crucial moments – his attempt to lord it over Pogba at the wrong time was pure Moussa. Just when a winner would smell blood and put the opposition to the sword, he sees it has a cue to prick up his feathers, and show his arse to them, goading them to come and try and get the ball off him.

    Can I please urge us all to kneel and pray to your god for the swift recovery of Harry Winks?

    Private Godfrey says: ‘Some of them kneeling are rather tired sir, and are asking if they might have a glass of my Sister Dolly’s lemonade to keep them going?’

  • OrganicPaper April 24, 2018 at 10:39 am

    I like Mo Po, I really do. The trouble is he is still learning his trade and doing so with a team who are not died in the wool winners (yet – I hope). This creates a base level naivety that shows up every time we play a big team in a cup competition when it matters.
    Over the course of a league, this naivety is balanced by the genuine talent some of our players have and we come up at least 4th best. Its OK to strive to compete to this level, its what we have wanted for decades with only a faint sniff once in a while of achieving it. But to actually function as a football club, the aim has to be to put some silverware on the table and medals round the player necks and indelible marks on the history of the game.

    No one can deny the past 2-3 seasons have been a vast improvement on any prem era season we have had. The sense of frustration is made more acute because we SHOULD be wining the FA Cup or League Cup. Previous failed attempts at winning pots we have had a ‘good run in the cup’ and would be somewhat fortunate to have won.

    ENIC wont change. Its up to Poch to change his ways, to learn and improve himself, to understand the fans and the players and start putting onus on wining something achievable. That is not the CL or EPL its the two domestic cups.

    This summer should be about looking forward to the new stadium but I fear this will be one of the most tense summers in a long time while we wait to see who leaves and who arrives and at the moment its looking like there will be some disappointments in store for us faithful Yids…

    • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:45 am

      All good stuff OP but this concept of Poch having trancendental powers that will negate the effects of the Levy/ENIC jackboot is yet more fantasy.

      The guy has done pretty bloody well to get us to 4th with the 7th highest net spend and no home ground. What more do people want from him with fuck all ambition from his employers?

      I feel sorry for him, the only escape from this purgatory is to walk. At the moment he’s choosing to try and educate the media about his predicament. Which is either admirable or deluded, I’m not sure which right now.

      • Al April 24, 2018 at 6:10 pm

        “What more do people want from him?”

        A pair of bigger balls/a brain at the critical moments

        I love him but I feel sad

        The improving season on season line is wearing thin

    • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:52 am

      Like some of that Org, but please explain, why should we be winning pots? What makes us different to Pooh, Everton, Aston Villa etc?

      • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 11:05 am

        We earn more money.

        It’s all about money.

        • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 11:08 am

          We earn more money than Liverpool?
          But yes, spot on, it’s all about money now. Chelsea and City won stuff because they threw obscene amounts of money at it, Joe has not.

        • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 11:09 am

          ENIC take money out and build buildings and not football teams.

          • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 11:12 am

            Righto. Is that more truth and reality?

          • Caspurs♿️ April 24, 2018 at 11:26 am

            Easty would you rather Spurs stayed in the old stadium and not try and achieve financial parity with the wealthier clubs, hoping for the occasional cup run, then hoping not to get beaten in the final against a wealthier club with a superior team to ours?

            • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 11:34 am

              No, he’d rather Joe put his own money in, nothing else will do.

      • OrganicPaper April 24, 2018 at 1:51 pm

        We should be wining those pots because we have the team to do so. Im not a fan of aligning our net spend to our perceived level of achievement. We have a fantastic squad and any team that finishes top 4, , 3 ,2 whatever, should be wining those trophies.
        Of course only one team will win but IMO we are underachieving by not winning one over the past 3 seasons.

  • alan granville April 24, 2018 at 10:37 am

    I look at it in another way. Firstly I’m probably older than most of the current crop of fans-pushing 80. Secondly I was raised in the area a stones throw from W H L and have been a fan all my life, though mainly from a distance of thousands of miles.,
    But my main point is I don’t do logic, I ‘m a fan no matter what, whether we win the title or get relegated. Whoever puts on the fabled white shirt is a hero in the same way that anybody who puts on the scums shirt is a devil incarnate.
    So this modern obsession with “winning things” rather passes me by.

    • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:43 am

      Like a lot. It’s an obsession formed from unfounded expectations. Does that mean you or I don’t want to win stuff?

  • Legoverlass April 24, 2018 at 10:24 am

    Pooch ŵas chosen because he was prepared to buy into the narrative spin to the fans about a “project”. When he joined he was talking about 3-4 years to get to actually winning stuff. The problem is that this project is just a never ending story. Now he spouts it will take another 4 years. His constant chatter about “process”and the “journey” is just a mechanism to take the pressure of having to win anything. Pooch is playing a role. His part is the moody South American genius coach. THis character is so far advanced in his football thinking that no one especially the fans could possibly understand his elevated thinking. He operates in a different reality to all the other teams competing with him. To even question him is an affront to his superior football intellect.The problem is that backstage he redressed back into what he is which is a flim flam imposte who has won nothing of note ever. He looks in the mirror and says “how am I getting away with this? How am I even spoken about in the same breath as people like Guardiola and Mourinho? “He is the perfect patsy front man for Levy who slithers around in the background away from the glare of the spotlight. I sense that this summer we will see Toby, Rose, Dembele, depart. Possibly Eriksen will force a move to Barcelona. Even Alli may be sold if the deal isn’t right. it is even possible that to try and keep the fans at bay and as a splash of publicity for the new stadium he will buy back Bale. Then we start back on the wheel going nowhere for another 3 year cycle. Levy will only bin Pooch if he fails to bring in CL qualification revenue.

    • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 10:45 am

      Yup.

    • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:52 am

      Poch is the man employed to make Levy look good and the man for the fans to blame when we don’t win stuff. The latest in a long line of unfortunate fall guys otherwise known as mangers employed by Levy.

      • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 10:53 am

        Conveyor belt to hell.

  • Kiwiyid April 24, 2018 at 10:11 am

    If people want Poch out for not winning a pot. Does that mean they want Ramos back coz he did????

    • Caveman April 24, 2018 at 10:19 am

      I give up!

    • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 10:24 am

      Thanks for that.

      And give my regards to Vital Spurs.

  • The Pin April 24, 2018 at 10:08 am

    Can I please nominate Moussa Dembele ?

    If we were prepared to spend market rate transfer fees and wages he’d be long ago plying his trade mid-table or mesmerising the young lady fans of the MLS with his pirrouette prettiness. He is an ego player that always costs us at the crucial moments – his attempt to lord it over Pogba at the wrong time was pure Moussa. Just when a winner would smell blood and put the opposition to the sword, he sees it has a cue to prick up his feathers, and show his arse to them, goading them to come and try and get the ball off him.

    Can I please urge us all to kneel and pray to your god for the swift recovery of Harry Winks?

    • MysteriousStranger April 24, 2018 at 11:14 am

      Excellent.

    • Nick April 24, 2018 at 12:31 pm

      If you think winks is good enough to lace dembele’s boot you’re deluded.Dembele is the only player we have to try & hold the ball & go past people,players like that inevitably lose possession.In regards to the mistake against Utd,he shouldn’t have been on the pitch & played 75 mins injured & if the other way round would’ve been given as a foul.

  • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:03 am

    The semi final was a handy reality check for the fantasists that have faith that Levy is out to win anything other than a bigger bank balance.

    Bald cunt.

    • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:07 am

      I’m sorry, I take that back because after all FFP applies to Spurs in a way it doesn’t to everyone else.

      Levy and Joe are desperate to put a few quid in… “If only if it weren’t for those pesky FFP kids eh?!”

      • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 10:24 am

        Yup.

    • Panama Paul April 24, 2018 at 10:08 am

      Just read your post on the Spurs Triple Down blog. Smashed it out of the park with that post. Not sure what to do now. Keep supporting Spurs or sit in a dark corner and gently rock backwards and forwards.

      • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:15 am

        Aren’t we supposed to do both?

        • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:23 am

          Levy hopes some new cladding on the north stand of the new stadium will be the latest in a long successful line of distraction techniques!

      • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:24 am

        Cheers PP, the truth is actually quite hard to stomach mate.

        • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:35 am

          Truth and reality, eh?
          We should be winning stuff because:
          We can outbid other teams for the best players.
          We can afford higher wages than other teams to get the best players.
          We are a successful team, meaning the best players want to join us.
          We have a rich history of winning stuff.

          It seems to me that some find it hard to stomach that we’re not Manure, City, Chelsea or Arsenal. That’s the truth and reality.

          • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:38 am

            Joe can afford it, despite the spin we are actually “one of those clubs with billionaire owners that you can’t compete with.

            The difference is our owners CHOOSE not to compete…

            • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:40 am

              Ah, back to that. Joe hasn’t spent his own money. What a nasty, horrible man he is.

              • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:55 am

                I haven’t said Joe Lewis is horrible, I respect t his position (sort of), I’m just saying that those who say we haven’t got similar owners to Chelski or City are getting it wrong.

                Theirs spend, ours don’t. That’s all there is to it…

                • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:57 am

                  So I was right. The truth and reality is that you are unhappy with the way out club is being run, because the owners don’t spend as much of their own money as Chelsea’s and City’s owners do.

                  • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 11:05 am

                    Not sure what you mean by “as much”, how much is “as much” exactly?

                    I’m talking about attempting to at least bring yourself in line a little by paying the going rate and using some of your own money to speculate and accumulate, build the brand, win something etc.

                    Abramovic did it with a shit club and now they get double from Nike in sponsorship than we do, and HH has said, we had a legacy but Levy has managed our expectations to a level where we are supposed to have forgotten about it.

                    Only problem is so have the rest of the world…

                    • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 11:13 am

                      A little? So cheats and city owners have invested well over a billion into their clubs, but it would only take a little for us?

          • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 10:45 am

            Only because we choose to be tenants in a shopping mall instead.

            The ship sailed with the chance to invest, when the well run clubs were pumping in money they secured legacies with players, fans and sponsors.

            Hence CFC getting TWICE as much from Nike as we did.

            Hence the NFL only giving dozy bollocks a two game commitment.

            You win stuff, and the money comes in like it’s raining.

            Even now, these pricks have borrowed the money the for the stadium build (a figure yet to be finalised in the public domain) and held off putting a penny of their own in, so they can charge us through the eyeballs to watch what? Kane run himself into an early grave?

            We HAD a rich history of winning stuff until these crooks arrived.

            THFC has money coming out of its ears and instead of investing in the football, they’ve invested in the merchandising.

            Sainsburys open ✔️
            Megastore open (soon) ✔️

            Common denominator?

            They are both packed with cash registers.

            • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:47 am

              You win stuff, and money comes in like it’s raining. Easy peasy.

            • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 10:59 am

              Excellent post HH, the missing out on the legacy element is something I had overlooked a little.

              It makes a complete mockery of this idea that they’re building a brand aside from redesigning the Chicken Badge 11 years ago and the ‘heritage sash’ on the kit the other season. Complete wankers…

              • Harry Hotspur April 24, 2018 at 11:06 am

                They are cheapskates, cheapskates on the make.

                • East Stand April 24, 2018 at 11:10 am

                  100%

  • Kiwiyid April 24, 2018 at 9:59 am

    There’s no question the semi failed to provide hope as it COULD have. Even with our current roster it takes a special effort to overcome Manure when that close to a tinpot tin. Blowing raspberries and heaping sarcasm is even less useful than wanting Poch especially and players out. SAF almost got the boot, then embarked on the most rampant trophy gathering of the
    P
    L era. Patience Grasshopper jerk your cock not your knee. After all it’s only a game for rich cunts.

  • Bruxie April 24, 2018 at 9:51 am

    Oh, no!

    • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 9:54 am

      Run out of cornflakes?

      • Bruxie April 24, 2018 at 9:55 am

        Trying to make a cockerel – one missing piece!

        • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 9:56 am

          It’s a fix mate. I’ve bought 6 boxes this week, and still can’t complete it.

          • Caspurs♿️ April 24, 2018 at 9:59 am

            It takes seven boxes to make the set, I should know, Bought 11 of them.

            • Freund or Foe April 24, 2018 at 10:02 am

              Cool. Off to Asda, back in a minute.