Unless Daniel Levy can get a crackerjack hypnotist in soon, the impending transfer window could degenerate swiftly into an undignified stampede to get the hell out of Dodge City.
First man to make a move, to even beat Danny Rose out the door has to be the utterly hopeless Fernando Llorente.
A monumental ‘Buy Cheap, Buy Twice’ job, even by Levy’s own implausibly daft standards.
The Daily Mirror carries a come and get me quote from the ageing nag that does;t require much analysis.
“I enjoyed many wonderful moments at the club that I will never forget and Athletic will always hold a special place in my heart. If they do make me a proposal to come back, then I would have to think about it and yes, maybe it could happen.”
Fernando, or Nando as he is wont be called, really struggled this season at Wembley and made only 15 Premier League appearances and only one of those was from the starting eleven.
The 33 year old scored a solitary goal, against Swansea City, of course.
Tottenham aren’t going to approach this window all guns blazing, instead those of you poor souls who trudge to North London to be aggressively fleeced by ENIC will instead do so fuelled by the hope that the reheated leftovers of this season can somehow be corralled into producing more, with declined resources.
Has anyone got Derren Brown’s number?