Date: 1st May 2018 at 11:17pm
Written by:

Tottenham Hotspur Football Club (t/a Funtime Novelties Enfield Ltd) have recieved what is understand to be the first formal enquiry for Toby Alderweireld.

The Alderweireld enquiry is from another Premier League side and this enquiry has arrived precisely in response to Poch’s siren song of refusing to play the Belgian.

Which of course, carries its own burdens.

Gladys understands that no less than 3 of our first team players – so far – have been labelled as ‘potentially available’ and that whilst zero effort is being expended by the club in order to market/foist them upon others.

Spurs are operating on what was described to me as a ‘need to know’ basis.

Which basically boils down to –  if you phone up Daniel and say you need such and such a player –  he’ll let you know what that player will cost you.

One can never underestimate the specifics in the language Levy uses.

“I am 100 per cent confident that every player we want to keep I can assure you will be playing for Tottenham Hotspur next season,”

…is what our illustrious leader said back in January.

The bulk of players are not for sale under any circumstances, and this is something that both those individuals and their management have had spelled out to them in the most forthright terms.

However, it will still necessitate some artistry from Levy & Co. this summer to balance the whole player retention/player sales equation.

One cannot charge fans top dollar and then expect them to watch what are essentially leftovers – chase a ball about.

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Comments
  • Ronwol196061 May 2, 2018 at 11:51 am

    Replacing Dembele is the first order of business. Its not easy and it will cost but its a necessity.
    I havent seen anything in Winks that makes me think that he is someone who can be THE engine of this team and thats what the position in. Yes he might change and be capable of that position but its a huge requirement for us..more than the DM as its pivotal.
    This is the place to spend

  • Bob May 2, 2018 at 9:08 am

    I get that a five year contract for 30 year olds coupled with a tripling of their weekly wage is a problem. Surely with Toby a 2 year extension, including removal of the release clause and an increase to the same wage as Harry is the answer. A huge signing on fee then completes the package.

    • Caveman May 2, 2018 at 9:11 am

      4 years minimum. Barca would give it. He can always be sold if it’s not working out.

  • Caveman May 2, 2018 at 8:54 am

    Think when Winks recovers from injury, we are going to see a ready made replacement for Dembele. He’s some player and his injury set him back two seasons.

    • Harry Hotspur May 2, 2018 at 9:15 am

      I like Winks but this seems hugely ambitious

      • Caveman May 2, 2018 at 9:19 am

        I saw a very good player just before his initial injury. He was getting on the team sheet in front of Dembele. I can’t be sure but he was looking good.

        • Harry Hotspur May 2, 2018 at 9:31 am

          I raved about him, however he appears to be unable to get well and Mousa was a tank. Fingers crossed.

  • Gloster1861 May 2, 2018 at 8:40 am

    Syd

    I am an admirer of Poch but if he wants to win anything with Spurs I think he firstly needs to understand our history and our fans – not just one insular “philosophy”. It’s more than just football – no it’s a whole lot more than that.
    Start coaching with the heart of all those who follow Spurs and instill that into the players and see what happens.
    It’s about HISTORY…..It’s about PASSION..
    Poch – “To Dare is to Do” remember….They are not just words. It’s our heart and soul.
    WE ARE SPURS – Not you or the players….WE ARE.

    To be fair to Pochettino, to an extent he will take his cues from the chairman and board. If they don’t transmit what it means to support Tottenham, how will he know? If Levy isn’t fussed about cups, why should Poch?
    If we had a chairman with hot blood in his veins instead of antifreeze maybe this would disseminate itself throughout the staff.
    In business, the boss sets the tone. A good boss brings dynamism and direction.

  • Gloster1861 May 2, 2018 at 7:55 am

    San Diego Spurs
    Who replaces Dembele? I’m prepared to swap Sessegnon for an overweight Rose, who has been under co tract with Spurs longer than any other player. Indeed, I think he’s been around long enough to rate a testimonial. Toby is a tougher choice. He’s got several quality years left, but selling now is selling high and I think that position is relatively secure. But dembele is a tougher one to find. Shame Keita already earmarked for Liverpool.

    Yes, Keita is likely to strengthen Pooh again, and with Dembele looking over the hill even if he stayed, we really need to address this position in the summer. If the rumours about Wanyama are also true it leaves Dier and Winks. I have a sinking feeling that Sissoko will be used at DM. After all, didn’t Poch tell us that Sissy ‘transitions defence into attack ‘ or some such cobblers?

  • Tappaspur May 2, 2018 at 7:19 am

    Fans being floumpt!

    • Tappaspur May 2, 2018 at 7:24 am

      Not sure if I spelt that correctly. “Floumpt” my mate used to sell fruit&veg in the west end and used to short change the tourists and thats the word he used. Floumpt.

  • Camus May 2, 2018 at 6:32 am

    It’s a bit of a weird dynamic – “You want to earn more and win trophies? Consider yourself frozen out, sir…”
    But Walker won the phoney war, got paid more, won 2 medals (and counting).
    You wonder what the other lads will think if Toby goes off to Barca or City to win stuff.

    Maybe Pep wants him – Kompany is only fit for the punditry box now.
    Pep might be Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate.

  • Lord Croker May 2, 2018 at 6:02 am

    ‘One cannot charge fans top dollar and then expect them to watch what are essentially leftovers – chase a ball’ Levy will try. Bums on seats in zee new stadium is what it is all about. How many season tickets have been sold? That’s upfront revenue. Pay before they play. The FA Cup semi final loss is still hurting. It kind of sums up alot about where the club is. Some quality players mixed with mediocre dross. I believe Toby will find a club that wins things irrespective of a nice shinny cheese room. Good luck to him.

  • San Diego Spurs May 2, 2018 at 5:46 am

    Who replaces Dembele? I’m prepared to swap Sessegnon for an overweight Rose, who has been under co tract with Spurs longer than any other player. Indeed, I think he’s been around long enough to rate a testimonial. Toby is a tougher choice. He’s got several quality years left, but selling now is selling high and I think that position is relatively secure. But dembele is a tougher one to find. Shame Keita already earmarked for Liverpool.

  • Syd May 2, 2018 at 2:35 am

    Hi folks,
    I honestly believe situations like these are disgusting. Toby is arguably the best defender in the Club (or Verts) and no matter what the contract negotiations he should be played.
    I cannot understand Poch one bit – not playing him. First he was not quite fit…well what’s the reason now. Please don’t tell me it’s because Sanchez is playing better than Toby because although Sanchez has been far more capable than expected, he is not as good as Toby and probably would have learnt a whole lot more and quicker if he was playing next to Toby..
    The 5 – 1 loss to a 10 men at Newcastle in May 2016 left an extremely bitter taste in my mouth and destroyed millions of happy smiles. I wonder how much Poch understands the nuances of English football, its titles and rivalries.
    It wasn’t too important to him to finish ahead of the arse but it was to millions of Spurs supporters. He wasn’t too fussed about the FA Cup this year but I think he again under estimated how passionate our fans are and how desperate we want some sort of victory and silver ware.
    I am an admirer of Poch but if he wants to win anything with Spurs I think he firstly needs to understand our history and our fans – not just one insular “philosophy”. It’s more than just football – no it’s a whole lot more than that.
    Start coaching with the heart of all those who follow Spurs and instill that into the players and see what happens.
    It’s about HISTORY…..It’s about PASSION..
    Poch – “To Dare is to Do” remember….They are not just words. It’s our heart and soul.
    WE ARE SPURS – Not you or the players….WE ARE.

    • Syd May 2, 2018 at 2:43 am

      The Newcastle reference was in relation to Arsenal as a result of that game jumping ahead of us in the last game of the season and fucking having to live with Wankshire putting crap on us for another year.
      Time for Poch to understand us.

      • DAVID May 2, 2018 at 2:12 pm

        Great post Syd, spot on.

  • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 12:51 am

    Have ENIC fucked off yet? If they don’t Poch will, he’s ambitious and they aren’t.

    Enjoy the cheese, losers!

    • Ronwol196061 May 2, 2018 at 1:03 am

      You do write some eloquent shit,East

      • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 1:05 am

        Ah fank yoo Won. Most kind.

  • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 12:38 am

    My dog loves chasing balls about……….maybe he’s on to something

    • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 12:53 am

      Is that where Timmy got his tactics from, watching his dog play?

      • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 1:00 am

        Very possible……does bring alot of joy

        • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 1:00 am

          Watching the dog……..timmy was painful

          • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 1:02 am

            Dogs are great, Timmy’s just dire!

            • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 1:05 am

              Dier? Only with the sideways passing & useless 30 yard shots

              • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 1:07 am

                Not sure what’s happened to Dier, definitely lost his mojo of late. That’ll be Poch’s fault too, I expect…

                • Syd May 2, 2018 at 2:36 am

                  It is if he keeps playing him

  • Urbane Sturgeon May 2, 2018 at 12:01 am

    The squad appears to be coming down almost as quickly as the stadium is going up. I remember treading water for 3 minutes with all my clothes on for one of those ribbons/gold/silver/bronze certificates or whatever, at school. Treading water. It’s fucking draining. I have no energy left for the rest of this season.

    • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 12:56 am

      Stop US, you aren’t supposed to moan about anything regarding either the stadium or the slow disintegration of the team.

      Some on here don’t like it and it’s therefore the law.

      • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 1:12 am

        Easty, you have some flavour in you. Spurts was not saying we all moan too much, just some moan ALL THE TIME, with nuffin good to say.

        • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 1:22 am

          And in a match day, I’ve wanted to punch guys in the fucking throat for that shit. You come to cheer the team and if we were trying to stay up or fighting for 4th/3rd and you heard this shit what would you do ?

          • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 1:24 am

            Look at Mark Noble

            • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 1:33 am

              Now you fuckin understand 🙄

              • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 1:53 am

                To be clear Easty, it’s not you, but we’re all on edge, this means a lot and too many cunts don’t realise that. Spare a thought for your fellow brutha. Those anti spurs bastards. I do mean not you.

                • 💋 May 2, 2018 at 2:21 am

                  Wah?! He’s the feckin crown prince of ’em. He’s Bob Marley to their Wailers.

          • Syd May 2, 2018 at 2:39 am

            aaannnnnd cut…that’s a take.

            You go ANT, right with ya buddy

            • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 3:21 am

              😘 and you Syd, you cool dude you. Love and respect to you man. You are truly one of the greats. Beautiful man you. Love to Hali 😘😘

        • 💋 May 2, 2018 at 2:17 am

          It’s me and you Anty, all day long mate.

          • 💋 May 2, 2018 at 2:19 am

            We’re like Ronnie and Reggie (bagsy I’m Reggie) ‘ang on … which one was the iron? Bagsy I’m not that one.

            • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 2:23 am

              Just had to smack one guy in the mouth at Asda. 4 on 1 wanker and I jumped out. Security took him off. Warned them on the way in.

              • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 2:24 am

                1 jumped out. Pricks.

                • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 2:26 am

                  Saw 4 guys outside troubling 1 kid. Not home yet 😂 easy spurts

                  • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 2:32 am

                    Haha just broke the bottle of wine 100 yards from the door, against the lamp post. Not going back. Or should i 😂

                  • 💋 May 2, 2018 at 2:46 am

                    Er … hang on. No one said anything about smacking people in the mouth outside Asda.

                    I’m toasty warm at home in bed having mad psychedelic dreams. I just woke up convinced I’d sh*t the bed again.

                    I much prefer it to roaming about provincial town supermarkets bashing people up, although Watford’s Asda (Garston?) is a lovely supermarket, and if I was going to plant one on a random member of the public in the wee small hours I might do it there.

                    Have you been taking your tablets 💊?

                    • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 3:18 am

                      I didn’t want to and I feel kinda guilty, actually no I don’t. Spurts in always straight down the line, I know the meds (which I haven’t taken don’t work) and I am very rarely angry (well that’s not entirely true) and what I mean is I hate (that’s rarely true too) but what I mean is he’s lucky. They were picking on a boy and he went to hit me. I warned him. He’s very lucky cause I don’t want to hurt anyone and I stopped someone yesterday being battered. I just go about my business and try to help when I can. Much like you. We all have a laugh but if I see bullying then I step in. 4 guys outside Asda were arguing with 1 as I walked in and he looked scared so I asked the guys on the door to keep an eye out as I wasn’t sure it was banter or not. When I came out they were getting mouthy and I had a bottle in my hand as 1 decided to make a move. I felt like smashing him as I was only passing but checking the boy was ok. When he saw me put the bottle down he came at me so I smacked him in the mouth. A soft one anyway cause I’d have killed him. Anyways the security came out and asked no questions. Home and about to get warm in bed too. Night all 😘

          • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 2:39 am

            Back home safe roood boys. Yeah spurts man I told ya you’re bang on bruvs. Not saying that for nuffing. You are on the money. No question.

            • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 2:41 am

              Only question I may have is how many more kick the cat after the blog 🙄

  • 💋 May 1, 2018 at 11:39 pm

    Who js the Spammo?

    • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 12:01 am

      You know Spurts, you have a natural flair/skill and emotion in your writing much akin to HH. If I had this I’d have been home and dry by now. Really brilliant bruvs 😘

      • AntSpurs May 2, 2018 at 12:04 am

        Not excluding the passion and content of course. Bravo.

  • ronwol96061 May 1, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    I had a formal inquiry today I bought a tux

    • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 12:40 am

      Always dressed for the occasion

    • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 12:57 am

      I had a bath to mark the occasion…

      • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 12:58 am

        About time. Could smell you from over here😆

        • East Stand May 2, 2018 at 1:03 am

          Changed me boxers too!

          • Mikespurs May 2, 2018 at 1:04 am

            Pure class

  • David Dillenberg May 1, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    Following such expected departures once the whole “project”collapses and Poch jumps ship would the last person turn out the lights please. Happy days!