Tottenham Hotspur

Fancy A Laugh? A Very Stiff Letter To East Midland Trains

Fancy A Laugh? A Very Stiff Letter To East Midland Trains

This from our old friend Paul Smith the self appointed WEBMASTER of Spurs Odious.

For those of a certain age might remember the Will Hay classic Oh, Mr Porter! and the immortal line ‘next train’s gone!’ For Mr Smith and not for the first time he’s found his life imitating art.

What sort plinth writes to a rail franchise and asks them to lay on a later train so he get home from the football?

Was Mr Smith a passionate endorser of Wembley? I can’t be bothered to trawl through his webmastery and find out – but given what a pompous old stuffed shirt he is I’d be amazed if he didn’t think that true fans deserved a bit of Wembley – even if it had to be paid for.

You can spot Mr Smith at away games writing his match report (which is routinely read by in excess of 7 people) his Tesco tablet.

Regarding my travel to #spurs games I have written this to @EMTrains:-

“I am a regular passenger, especially during the football season, which is fast approaching. My team is Tottenham Hotspur, who play at Wembley in the coming season, which will often have a crowd of 90,000 for games. On some Saturdays there will be 5.30pm kick-offs, which mean a 7.30pm finish and potentially a one-hour queue to get back to London from Wembley Park. Therefore it will be touch and go as to whether I can reach St Pancras for the last train back to Chesterfield on a Saturday night which leaves at 8.56pm.

I have written several times before asking you to review your late service to Chesterfield (and Sheffield) on Saturdays and indeed week-days when I have to make other arrangements for a mid-week evening game. I am not the only such passenger and know plenty of people who also travel to and from Chesterfield and Sheffield for such occasions. This applies to other teams, and indeed to anyone from those areas contemplating an evening in London.

Once again, I urge you to review your late time-table serving Chesterfield and Sheffield. Sheffield is one of the major cities in the country, with two universities, and surely warrants a better late service.

I shall copy this to my local MP, Toby Perkins, who I expect is also often affected by the restricted service offered by East Midlands Trains.”

I bet Mr Perkins will be pleased to be cc’d in on this very important issue.

View Comments (24)
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • Des Bennett July 8, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    At least he’s a proper criminal (allegedly!) manure player now! He’s started off quite petty though!

  • SpurAndy 🍒π July 8, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Romelu Lukaku: Everton striker arrested last week in Los Angeles after noise complaint – http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/40545516

    • caveman July 8, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      He’ll be having his medical in San Quentin!

  • melcyid July 8, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    Should have ccd branson he would take up the slack

    • 💋 July 8, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      What’s happened to your avatar?

    • Harry Hotspur July 8, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      Taken it up the slack

  • melcyid July 8, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    Thought he was a steamer

  • melcyid July 8, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Thought loo crack p.o. was signing for galaxy

  • Hartley™ July 8, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    I thought he made a raily good point.

    • 💋 July 8, 2017 at 6:59 pm

      I think his motive for asking is loco.

  • Caspurs♿️ July 8, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    Dear Diedre
    I have this niggling feeling Shitsogo will still be with us next season, and is there any medication which will allay this persistent niggle?

  • MysteriousStranger July 8, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    http://www.espn.co.uk/football/soccer-transfers/story/3154979/estudiantes-defender-juan-foyth-claims-talks-with-tottenham

    Warning: Contains actual player quotes.

    Yeah, it would be a “one for the future” type signing if it were to happen. Juan Sebastián Veron would know Poch well from their time in the Argentina national side. Expect we’d find out soon enough if it was bollocks or not.

  • Lilywhite without the II July 8, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    Why on earth would we want Lukaku…we already have ONE goal scorer, what a waste of “our” money…

  • SpurAndy 🍒π July 8, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    Never watched the programme but I imagine this is the guy.

    https://youtu.be/TrHvX9Xwo0s

    • 💋 July 8, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      The TV show isn’t as good as the Radio show. Steve Delaney is a clever chap. I’ve got a sneaky feeling The Boy Hartley might know him.

      • SpurAndy 🍒π July 8, 2017 at 7:19 pm

        He looks a bit Harry Worthish.

        • gloster1861 July 8, 2017 at 8:03 pm

          Harry Worth, my god, why did anyone ever think he was amusing? As a child I would have rather gone to bed early than be forced to watch him.

  • Des Bennett July 8, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    Can I just say that as the CEO of North West South Midlands Trains, I think that EMT should put a later train on for the good people of Chesterfield and lease it from us. Paul, we’ve got your corner mate, but we promise that we won’t let Trippier take it!!!😳😳😳

    • Harry Hotspur July 8, 2017 at 5:51 pm

      This is why we’re here folks, to save lives…

      Thank you, Mr Bennett!

  • caveman July 8, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    That must be Glos!

  • 89Spurs 👁 July 8, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    What on the train to Chesterfield or Sheffield.
    Turdish

  • Panama Paul July 8, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    I await EMT’s reply with baited breath. Once they’ve stopped laughing, of course.

    • Harry Hotspur July 8, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      You’d be lucky to get a response from them if you claimed to have been raped by their ticket inspector.

      The self importance of this guy is surreal. Thoroughgoing tool.

  • richspurs July 8, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    Foist. Lucky me. Are we there yet??

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