Home » FAKE NEWS: Seminal Sissoko Performance Airbrushed From Match Report

FAKE NEWS: Seminal Sissoko Performance Airbrushed From Match Report

By The Boy -

The footballing firmament was shaken to it’s core this evening as Moussa ‘The Goods’ Sissoko was sensationally airbrushed from a Press Association match report.

The 43 year old was universally dubbed Tottenham’s ‘Star Man’ by fans up and down the country, yet the the Lilywhite’s big black beauty has been resigned to the cutting room floor of this so called news agency!


Ruthless Harry Kane struck four goals as Tottenham dismantled Leicester 6-1.

The England forward’s haul moved him two ahead of Romelu Lukaku in the race for the Premier League’s golden boot with 26 goals ahead of Sunday’s season-finale at Hull.

Son Heung-min also scored twice at the King Power Stadium as Spurs continued to shrug off any disappointment following Chelsea’s title win.

The visitors were untouchable as they sealed their 13th win in their last 16 games in all competitions, having already cemented second place.

Tottenham challenged Leicester for the title last season, before eventually finishing third, and Foxes chief Craig Shakespeare dismissed any aggravation between the sides after last year’s battle.

But he will be disappointed with how his side rolled over for Spurs, who outclassed their hosts from almost the first minute.

Apart from an error from Hugo Lloris which allowed Ben Chilwell to score, Tottenham were always on top with Leicester now destined to finish mid-table.

Leicester were on the back foot instantly when Son shot over before Jamie Vardy fired straight at Lloris as Tottenham dominated possession without a serious opening until Son wasted a glorious one after 15 minutes.

The forward managed to force his way to the edge of the area and a lucky break off Kane deflected the ball into his path but he could then only lift wildly over.

But Son atoned for his miss 10 minutes later when he provided Kane with the opener.

Christian Fuchs was caught out by Toby Alderweireld’s deep ball which allowed Son to burst into the area and, with Fuchs trailing behind, he teed up Kane to sweep in from six yards.

Dele Alli’s low header was then saved by Kasper Schmeichel as Spurs began to raise the tempo, sensing Leicester were there for the taking.

The hosts were enterprising enough but, aside from Vardy’s pace, rarely troubled the visitors – who doubled their lead in style 10 minutes before the break.

An intricate move on the edge of the area opened up the Foxes, allowing Alli to spring the trap and his lovely lofted pass allowed Son to find the bottom corner with a first-time volley.

Tottenham threatened to overwhelm the Foxes and Schmeichel saved Eric Dier’s header before the hosts could grab a breather at half-time.

It was a break they needed as Dier needed to produce a fine block to deny Marc Albrighton and the quiet Riyad Mahrez fired at Lloris before Chilwell pulled a goal back after 57 minutes.

It was messy from Spurs as Lloris rushed out to beat Vardy to the ball but only succeeded in deflecting it off the striker to Wilfred Ndidi.

The midfielder worked it to Chilwell, who managed to squeeze the ball beyond Dier on the line – only for Kane to immediately restore Spurs’ two-goal advantage to spark a rout.

Kane headed in from point-blank range after more neat work from Son and the South Korean grabbed his own double on 71 minutes.

It was no more than the 24-year-old deserved as neat footwork gave him space on the edge of the box and he curled low beyond Schmeichel.

Vincent Janssen had a goal disallowed for offside before Kane completed a deserved hat-trick when he blasted in from 20 yards in the final minute.

And Kane had not finished when he scored again in stoppage time, with almost a carbon copy of his third, beating Schmeichel low to his right from the edge of the area.

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