Before we go anywhere, a big well done to fakin DPD who were not just a day late in delivering an item but then proudly sent me a message to conform that the parcel had been safely received and signed for by someone of a complexity different name at an entirely dissimilar address, some 8 miles away. I tried to call you, and was kept on hold for 10 minutes and 26 seconds before you randomly disconnected the call. No really, a big well done.
Looking online and see there’s a sanitised video of Levy & Co doing the rounds surrounded by sanitised sea-lions. If that doesn’t provoke a brain haemorrhage then there’s some drone footage of some concrete and indistinguishable lumps of metal also available.
I put Soccer Am on and the guests are some hateful X Factor arseholes called Rack Su, who were originally known as Suits For Tracksuits until the mindless chumps were told that that was too long (coded language for commercially suicidal). You couldn’t make it up.
The good news I guess is that while they’re being ‘pop icons’ they can’t be working for DPD.
Could this tooth extraction of a start to the day be a forbearing of what’s to come at teatime?
The chances are by half time even Spurs fans who aren’t even due a parcel from DPD will be calling the national helpline just to remind themselves that there is a place lower to sink to in this life.
If you are upbeat about this game, then you are trying to kid yourself that a team unbeaten un 15 who are going to win the league at a canter will be humbled by a bunch of tossers who are currently unbeaten in 3, whose secret superpower is the ability to ‘turn it on’ against big teams.
I’ve always loathed players that specialised in ‘showing up’ for certain games, specifically recalling at this point ***** who was supposedly immense in north London derbies. You get paid obscene amounts of money to play for millions of fans who have committed to a full time emotional investment spanning decades. So this showing up when the mood suits doesn’t work for me whatsoever.
Prediction: Spurs to lose by at least 2 clear goals. In fact, if this aided less PR and marketing guano from the club and fewer imbeciles launching drones, Spurs getting thumped today would make it a good day.