Date: 23rd June 2018 at 9:28am
Written by:

Foot Mercato the French outlet believe that Tottenham Hotspur Football Club (t/a Fired Damaged Fire Extinguishers Enfield Ltd) have placed a bid for a footballer.

Thanks to the pound crashing Alassane Pléa will look marginally less ‘free to a good home’ than he is.

Question is, who is he?

Alassane is a 25 year old attacker from Nice.

No, no, no, he’s not wanted for leaping out at people in the dark (well at least he isn’t to the best of my knowledge).

This Lille born boy started his professional career in 2011 with Lyon, eventually making the switch to Nice where he has been for the last 5 seasons.

Where he has won absolutely nothing.

Pléa scored 11 league goals in 25 appearances the season before last and 16 times from 35 last term.

This player according to Foot Mercato’s Dahbia Hattabi, is our Plan B if we are unsuccessful in signing Manchester United’s star asset, Anthony Martial.

Eurotrash.

Nothing personal, just straightforward analysis of basic information.

Humanitarian aid workers in the audience may demand that Pléa is ‘given a chance’, thank goodness the bleeding hearted among you aren’t running the club.

Common sense dictates that you don’t pick up bargains in this price bracket anymore.

You pick up litter.

 
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • QQ June 24, 2018 at 2:42 pm

    Is the Harry Hotspur “brave” list now out in written form ??

  • Matt June 23, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    Am on hols and didn’t see the match. Did Toby add a few £m to the price tag?

  • Rich g June 23, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    Players don’t win trophys you melt….

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 4:53 pm

      Bum off you bummer

  • Steven Hawkins Football Boots June 23, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    Harry Hotspur
    You wouldn’t want to buy knock off sunglasses from this Tunisian mob

    Lookie lookie

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 4:40 pm

      Went on a school trip when I was 14 to Paris.

      When all the schwarzers turned up with the ‘goods various’ a quick cry of ‘le fleek!’ sent them running.

      They seemed particularly pissed off, like mot everyone knew the drill.

      Another benefit of an Army School education.

      • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 4:53 pm

        *not

  • cavey June 23, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    Belgium should finish top.

  • SeattleSpursGuy June 23, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    Dele is in the new Adidas commercial.

  • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    5-2.

    Tee hee! Fucking Spurs defenders, pile o’shite.

  • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    Micky Batshite finishes it off.

  • SeattleSpursGuy June 23, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    great ball in.

  • cavey June 23, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    Eden Hazard never ever goes to ground! Give it a fucking rest Neville!

    • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 2:47 pm

      Is he one of these then?

      • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 2:49 pm

        This one is de Bruyne.

      • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 2:52 pm

        Knockers/clackers time

        • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 2:54 pm

          I never mastered my pogo stick, bloody death trap!

          • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 2:58 pm

            The space hopper stupid toy but at least it wasn’t dangerous. The pogo stick great for hurting yourself

          • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 2:59 pm

            Listen to the list of this guy’s injuries. He holds the pogo stick world record, and he’s called Biff. No clues which nationality. 😂

            https://youtu.be/JQ-747DPTPc

            • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 3:03 pm

              Eleven foot. Wow

          • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 4:54 pm

            I had stilts.

            That was a sick joke for a kid that 6ft by the time he was fakin 12

  • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    Belgium use all their subs with half hour to go. I’m getting my centre half to accidentally hurt him:-)

    • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 2:25 pm

      The keeper

      • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 2:26 pm

        Super jan in goal 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • SeattleSpursGuy June 23, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    Slitty in for Sassy

  • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    You wouldn’t want to buy knock off sunglasses from this Tunisian mob

  • Tappaspur June 23, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Daniels levy’g someone somewhere

  • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 1:55 pm

    archiisbald
    Do you think he left his phones at home Gloster?

    I’ll ask my boss if he’s OK with me working from the beach. I’m sure it will be fine.

    • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 2:03 pm

      Mine’s ok with it just off there now, bloody need to be available on a saturday though

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    He likes a dink

  • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    Lukaku. Still not impressed. He is spoon fed lots of great chances by a superb midfield.

  • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    Lukaku 🤣🤣🤣

    • OrganicPaper June 23, 2018 at 1:48 pm

      Humm tidy finish!

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:48 pm

      Ooops 🤐🤐🤐

      • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 1:50 pm

        Right first time.

  • OrganicPaper June 23, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    This Axel Fritzl bloke has a very dodgy ‘fro

  • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    That hand in the face thing Verts has done at Spurs. Have to watch himself, little Belgian biatch

  • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    Lukakaku is an unhinged steam engine

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    Belgium putting Tunisia in perspective.

    • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:20 pm

      2-1

    • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:20 pm

      Could finish 8-2

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:23 pm

        Probably. They conceded to Saudi Arabia or someone in their last friendly. Scored 5 though. Martinez defending.

    • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 1:22 pm

      Hey, I’m pleased. Run up a big score lads, ensure you finish top of the group, you’ll earn the harder knock out path.

      Runners up spot is the place to be.

      • cavey June 23, 2018 at 1:25 pm

        100%

      • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:28 pm

        Looks that way

  • cavey June 23, 2018 at 1:13 pm

    It’s hard to listen to that prick ‘Phil Neville’, you’d think he telling you a secret the way he commentates.

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      Spot on, he talks like some 10 year old

      • Steven Hawkins Football Boots June 23, 2018 at 1:35 pm

        Whereas his brother I like listening to.
        Also, think Ian Wright is good to listen to.
        Both very fair and straight to the point even if Gary Neville tried to flog Poch to manure on our behalf!

        • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:46 pm

          Ian Wright is always spot on.

  • Al June 23, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    This has got to be a wind up/smoke and mirrors. This guy is the definition of not brave. Who are you?

    25 year old Frenchman with no caps for France no thanks.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    A chairman going on holiday in the transfer window is like Santa Claus going on holiday at Christmas.

    • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 12:48 pm

      It’s absurd. If he has gone on a holiday at this crucial time he’s a cnut.

      • cavey June 23, 2018 at 12:50 pm

        He’s probably sitting on a beach somewhere reading TBH on his iPad and laughing his pea size balls off at all the panic on the blog!

        • 89Spurs 👁 June 23, 2018 at 12:55 pm

          Have you seen them Cavy?

          • cavey June 23, 2018 at 12:58 pm

            That’d be telling and as the ad says ‘ a gentleman never tells’

  • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 12:27 pm

    SATURDAY 23RD JUNE 2018

    GROUP F
    South Korea
    16:00
    Mexico

    Germany
    19:00
    Sweden

    GROUP G
    Belgium
    13:00
    Tunisia

  • marsinho June 23, 2018 at 12:25 pm

    i can tell you not one of those sporting players will be lane bound.

    • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 12:38 pm

      I know. But if we had a decent chairman he’d get some in. We’ve got the best stadium in London if not the UK apparently, and Champions League, some excellent players and Pochettino.

      The problem is Levy.

      • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 12:40 pm

        And I’ve heard there is a world class training centre too… 😂

      • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:11 pm

        Levy was the chairman when we got CL. The Chairman who employed Poch and extended his contract. The Chairman who built the new stadium. I guess thats what you mean by problem Gloster. He sure does give us good problems

        • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 1:20 pm

          This is what the great man himself said in 2001..

          taking over at Tottenham … 17.03.2001 (“Business and Pleasure” magazine)
          “I’m non-executive chairman at Spurs, but hope to have appointed someone else by the end of the season. I’m not going to be one of those high-profile chairman – I’m pretty low key – and I’m not Alan Sugar’s direct replacement.

          Plenty of people have suggested that my support for Tottenham was behind ENIC’s decision to take a 29.9% stake. It’s not true: I’ve followed the Spurs since I was eight years old, but I’m not a fanatical fan, The decision was made on business grounds.’
          🙄
          And this, is reflected in everything that happens.

          • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:30 pm

            He’s no fan.

          • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:30 pm

            Yeh really good he is a spurs fan at heart and likes to stay out of the media. Sure has been huge progress since he took over as most seem to agree

            • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 1:33 pm

              Financial progress, sod all football progress.

              One pot in nigh on twenty years.

              • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:35 pm

                Much morr than financial progress.

              • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:36 pm

                And if Dembers and Toby are off and we end up with a N’bargain and a Grealish….. Watch us plummet.

                • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:39 pm

                  Like bale and modders left and we improved after they left.

                  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:42 pm

                    We didn’t. We dropped into the Europa and had to rebuild after AVB debacle. Poch has worked miracles. Now the Lane is rubble if we drop out itl be veery different. What Poch has done with zero backing from Levy is astonishing.

                    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:44 pm

                      And they didn’t leave together like is looking like with 2 key players now.

        • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:27 pm

          Problem is he’s over seen the most baron spell for honars since the war. 3rd and 4th finishes were fairly common when I was growing up under other chairs. And the stadium…..?😭

          • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 1:28 pm

            *honours

  • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    I’m going to be interested to see where those six Sporting Lisbon ex-players go now. They cancelled their contracts.

    • cavey June 23, 2018 at 12:24 pm

      Isn’t Levy on holiday in Portugal?

      • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 12:34 pm

        Holiday? WTF! The multi millionaire can go holiday in the autumn/winter in Mauritius or anywhere. He should be working his arse off throughout the summer.

        • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 12:35 pm

          If he wants summer holidays get out of football Levy!

        • archiisbald June 23, 2018 at 1:12 pm

          Do you think he left his phones at home Gloster?

          • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 1:53 pm

            Sign a lot of documents with his phone does he?

            Being on the end of a phone under a beach umbrella doesn’t equate to having your staff and resources around you.

  • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 11:58 am

    These rumours crop up because journalists, like nature, abhor a vacuum. If nothing happens, they will invent something, anything. It is their livelihood.

    The French connection suggests Steve Hitchens owns a time share in a gites in the Auvergne and he needs an excuse to get over there.

  • OrganicPaper June 23, 2018 at 11:48 am

    Just had a wee look at his ‘showreel’. Pure dross in a piss poor league.

    It’s probably not even true, but the total lack of anything tangible on the transfer front just breeds this shit.
    I’m tired and weary. I’m so thankful that the World Cup is on or this summer would be just too excruciating

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? June 23, 2018 at 11:38 am

    Is there a transfer embargo on ENIC FC where we can only buy Ligue 1/2 players?

    Go and get Mateo u tight wad pricks.

  • OrganicPaper June 23, 2018 at 11:28 am

    Über driver last night told me a friend of his neighbours work collegaues uncle, thinks Spurs wont sign anyone.
    This is solid ITK

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 11:40 am

      HITC will run with that.

    • Gloster1861 June 23, 2018 at 11:51 am

      That’s Spurs Community gold!

      ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

      • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      • OrganicPaper June 23, 2018 at 1:42 pm

        😂

  • Chris June 23, 2018 at 10:00 am

    I wish he would leave France the fuck alone.

    • OrganicPaper June 23, 2018 at 11:32 am

      Its like doing your xmas shopping in Poundland

  • Steven Hawkins Football Boots June 23, 2018 at 9:53 am

    Thing is H, he may have joined his current club and won nothing in 5 years, but you could say that about most current spurs players.

    Are they not worth much?

    Not defending this fella as I don’t know of him, just saying that winning nothing in 5 years isn’t the reason not to buy him.

    Him possibly being shit, is.

    If he’s decent then fine.

    If not, then it’s not fine.

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 10:44 am

      I just watched his tape(s) and he looks mediocre.

      Yup, physically fit etc but there is a production line in la belle France knocking out these c*nts on the hour and stamping ‘Made In China’ on their bottoms.

      Like Moura, he’s 25 and we only know who he is because we Googles him. If prices hadn’t gone bonkers over here, we’d never be discussing him.

      Our only player truly worth a lump – despite not having won anything are Harry and Verts and Erikson because they could walk into any Premier League side in the country.

      Korarcic would walk into our squad.

  • TyredMan 🚯 June 23, 2018 at 9:48 am

    Must say that the Garbage truck that Daniel drives around France stinks.

  • Bog June 23, 2018 at 9:46 am

    May not be the world class player we want but surely an upgrade on Llorente with the style of football we play?

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 10:44 am

      You’d be an upgrade on Llorente.

  • Yippers June 23, 2018 at 9:45 am

    He looks terrible. So he fits the bill perfectly!

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      heh, surprised he isn’t already in the squad.

  • TyredMan 🚯 June 23, 2018 at 9:42 am

    How many did Tony score last time out?

  • TyredMan 🚯 June 23, 2018 at 9:37 am

    I Was just watching some showreel stuff on the man. Looks Ok from that.

    • Harry Hotspur June 23, 2018 at 9:41 am

      He’s a Barren Dent/Lucas Moura hybrid.

      • TyredMan 🚯 June 23, 2018 at 9:43 am

        Plan B for Bent.

  • TyredMan 🚯 June 23, 2018 at 9:35 am

    BOOM!