ITK

Bonzo ITK He Wants Out

Bonzo ITK He Wants Out

This one has taken me by surprise, I have to admit. I thought this particular pilchard was going to be around forever.

It’s unknown what precisely has pushed him over the edge but he’s thrown a fit and asked for a transfer – to parts unknown.

Maybe it was the fact that Trippier was better than him, maybe he just didn’t fancy the trip to Hong Kong.

Maybe someone hid his special rubber ducky he kept in the changing room.

View Comments (121)
Comments
  • Aside from cerebrospinal fluid, what's on your mind?

  • Harry Hotspur May 9, 2017 at 8:55 pm
  • David Dillenberg May 9, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    Currently leading Monaco 2-0 at home and 4-0 on aggregate Juventus are coasting to the CL final.

  • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    UnkleTaff
    https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/may/04/mauricio-pochettino-tottenham-daniel-levy
    “Daniel deserves a lot of credit in the three seasons I’ve been here. The support from him is massive. The good thing at Tottenham is that all the decisions are club decisions. Not mine or Daniel’s – all the decisions are shared and that’s so important to success in football.”

    Fake news. Alternative facts.

  • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    Freünd or Foe
    That’ll be the rather interesting opening between a woman’s legs.

    Isn’t the rather interesting opening between a woman’s legs her bottom?

  • David Dillenberg May 9, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Taking time out attending an organised synagogue religious theme coach tour of Oxford tomorrow visiting such places as the superb Ashmoleon Museum and Merton College for starters.

    • ronwol196061🇨🇦 May 9, 2017 at 8:31 pm

      We have jewish rowers? ..oy oy oy!

      • Freünd or Foe May 9, 2017 at 8:33 pm

        Soggy soggy soggy.

      • David Dillenberg May 9, 2017 at 8:44 pm

        Ron fairing slightly better playing football and cricket I flopped at rowing very much about fitness, technique, power and mental strength.

        • David Dillenberg May 9, 2017 at 8:46 pm

          and punting on the river is harder than it looks!

          • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:58 pm

            Best place for it.

          • ronwol196061🇨🇦 May 9, 2017 at 9:33 pm

            Should never punt the boat…silly punt

  • David Dillenberg May 9, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    I would cash in on both Walker and Ben Davies replaced by Ben Chilwell?

    • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:19 pm

      I’m going to cash in on the bamboo conservatory furniture. Because they’re mine and they’re for sale.

      • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:22 pm

        And I’m going to replace them with bean bags..

        • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 8:23 pm

          Is that to deter guests coming round?

          • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:23 pm

            Whoosh!

            • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:26 pm

              No but seriously they’re for sale.. need the space for the toys…the toys I tells ya! They’re EVERYWHERE!!

          • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:32 pm

            I think he has other, more effective, methods at his disposal…

    • Frontwheel 2 May 9, 2017 at 8:21 pm

      Never heard of the cunt

      • Freünd or Foe May 9, 2017 at 8:23 pm

        That’ll be the rather interesting opening between a woman’s legs.

        • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:28 pm

          Interesting! It is definitely interesting. Still can’t figure out how it works.

  • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    I wonder if there is a really slow walker somewhere called Runner

  • UnkleTaff May 9, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/may/04/mauricio-pochettino-tottenham-daniel-levy

    “Daniel deserves a lot of credit in the three seasons I’ve been here. The support from him is massive. The good thing at Tottenham is that all the decisions are club decisions. Not mine or Daniel’s – all the decisions are shared and that’s so important to success in football.”

    • David Dillenberg May 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

      Who was responsible for squandering millions on Sissoko, Njie, Nocluedo and Jansssen?

      • 61SpursNut🌰 May 9, 2017 at 8:14 pm

        I’m guessing Poch would say the club.

        • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 8:16 pm

          Yep. No one took the decisions and nobody was to blame.

          • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 8:24 pm

            Do they have no claims protection?

            • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 8:33 pm

              No win no fee would be good.

    • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? May 9, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      What is the man talking about?

    • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 8:15 pm

      And the blame or the credit can be spread thinly? In any organisation the buck stops somewhere. That’s how it works. Someone is in charge.

    • Frontwheel 2 May 9, 2017 at 8:16 pm

      Saying something pro Tottenham is like pissing in the wind,Taff

  • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Well that’s the blocked left nostril sorted.

  • East Stand May 9, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    I’ve always had my doubts about Walker, anyone who has jewellery tattooed onto their hand must be fucking confused…

    • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      Maybe he was afraid it would be stolen otherwise

  • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 7:56 pm

    Walker will never be as important to another side as he has been to Spurs. Even a move to City would be a step down. End of.

  • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 7:56 pm

    The beads of sweat falling into my noodle broth off my loaf is actually enhancing what is already a delicious bit of grub.

    • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:01 pm

      *Note to self: Never accept an invitation to eat at Spozzy’s gaff. Unless its takeaway food. Even then…

      • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:10 pm

        Don’t worry, it’s only the hot stuff that makes me sweat. I’ll tell you wot, we’ll have a nice salad. I know how much you luv a salad!!

        • 61SpursNut🌰 May 9, 2017 at 8:12 pm

          He’s like a monster munching that stuff.

          • Superspoz 🍳 May 9, 2017 at 8:16 pm

            No no, the image in my head has a bit more sophistication. A picnic blanket, cold white wine and a cous cous salad. That’s spurts all over right?

            • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:29 pm

              Sweat in the noodles and spurting all over the picnic blanket. P’raps weill book a table somewhere.

              • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 8:31 pm

                That’s a Kurt reply.

                • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 8:37 pm

                  Brecht you enjoyed that!

  • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    Having spent the best part of 60 years claiming there was a woman living inside him, former man and celebrity transgendered superstar, Caitlyn Jenner, has announced today that now he is a woman, there is a man living inside her!

    So, Bruce had Caitlyn living inside him and Caityn has Bruce living inside her, and … Oh, what a wonderful, messed up, mixed up world we live in!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4485114/Caitlyn-Jenner-admits-transitioning-male-difficult.html

    • ronwol196061🇨🇦 May 9, 2017 at 7:47 pm

      Apparently there is a footballer living inside Lamela up to now he has been dressing as one

    • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 7:48 pm

      I think a world class team of psychiatrists was required rather than surgery.

      • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 7:52 pm

        I doubt any man could survive intact living with the Jezebels in that Kardashian Coven.

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? May 9, 2017 at 7:58 pm

        √√

      • ronwol196061🇨🇦 May 9, 2017 at 8:29 pm

        FoFreud can help

        • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 8:30 pm

          I’m sure he couldn’t make things worse.

    • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog……its to dark to read.

  • East Stand May 9, 2017 at 7:29 pm

    It’s a shame because Walker is still a very good attacking fullback/wingback, despite all his faults.

    It’s obviously about money, he probably wants parity with the likes of Kane and because he isn’t very bright he feels that being a pacey fullback is as important as a 20+ goal a season striker.

    It also wouldn’t surprise me if he’s been tapped up by Pep & the Arabs. ENIC are always cutting their cloth according to their pre determined limits and after handing out contracts to key players he’s probably crestfallen that what he’s been offered a deal that suggests perhaps he isn’t.

    ENIC and Poch have decided who they can cash in on. Shame we pissed this supposed 30m on Sissy, perhaps that could have gone towards keeping Bonzo.

  • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    I will say this. Hes done so many boneheaded things id have to take off not only my shoes, but everyone elses at the bar to count. But had hopes that he would improve & having both his & dannys pace was a nightmare for defences. But if he doesnt want to be here, he wont improve, so bring in the trips.

    • East Stand May 9, 2017 at 7:32 pm

      I’m with you, he’s not irreplaceable but the money must be reinvested logically, you know like they did with Bale…

      • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:40 pm

        Full circle? We use the money to by back bale?

        • East Stand May 9, 2017 at 7:52 pm

          His wages would equal two thirds of our squad…

          • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:56 pm

            Which two thirds? The better half or the worse?

            • East Stand May 9, 2017 at 7:57 pm

              The better two thirds.

              • East Stand May 9, 2017 at 7:58 pm

                Bale must be on about 220k a week, and that’s a modest guess…

                • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 8:00 pm

                  Maybe we can sell overpriced tickets too dying kids to make up the difference……. trying to think outside the box

              • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:58 pm

                well off to find a better idea then.

  • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? May 9, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    I know what tipped him. He read this blog. Trips will do fine. I want Pickford, Barnardo Silva aaaand…hmmm let’s see…….maybe Philip billing.

    • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:10 pm

      Everyone knows he cant read

      • is Gascoigne gonna have a crack? May 9, 2017 at 7:11 pm

        Ahh. I neglected to retain that important fact.

        • mikespurs May 9, 2017 at 7:13 pm

          Happens to the best of us.

  • Cptcaveman May 9, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    I used to like Walker, perhaps blinded by his raw pace but over the years I got more and more frustrated by his generally shit play. How often does he get caught out of position? How often does he break quickly make a blinding run then suddenly slow the break down as he turns in, beats his man, then decide NOT to cross but to turn out again, then in then out and end up getting a corner or fluffing his cross. Massively overratted. Credit to Tripper, rather than spit his dummy out he’s quietly gone about his business and now for his reward. Sure he’s not as quick but his crosses are 1st class and I see quite a few goals coming from them next season.

    • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 6:56 pm

      Walker and Trippier, the fable of the hare and the tortoise comes to mind. You’re dead right, Walker doesn’t exploit his pace to much effect. Remember that wondet goal when out in loan to Villa? Has he scored another since?

      • 61SpursNut🌰 May 9, 2017 at 7:11 pm

        He did score an amazing “under the wall” free kick against Manure in 2013. The same match that Sandro got his worldy.

        • AntSpurs May 9, 2017 at 7:12 pm

          Against Wet Spam…ill get my coat !

  • SeattleSpursGuy May 9, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    I see we’re being linked with the return of Adam Smith as a Walker replacement, which does not blow my skirt up

    • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      Move to Chicago, the Windy City.

      That’s my knowledge of the USA exhausted!

  • AntSpurs May 9, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    So it’s a Bonzo Bonanza

    • AntSpurs May 9, 2017 at 6:37 pm

      Bonzaiiiiii

  • ronwol196061🇨🇦 May 9, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    Its fucking puzzling that everyone loves Bonzo now

    We hate them all and then we gasp for air when they want to leave?

    Moi?

    Did i name him Bonzo ffs 😊

    • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 6:32 pm

      I don’t want him to leave.

      • ronwol196061🇨🇦 May 9, 2017 at 6:37 pm

        You need oxygen

        • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 7:47 pm

          Ah, that would explain the peculiar shade of blue my tongue has turned. Ruddy third world oxygen suppliers. Tsk. Thanks.

  • SeattleSpursGuy May 9, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    Well, if this is true Levy is probably giddy over extracting a fee for an England regular, who was also voted into the PFA’s team of the season

    • MiT May 9, 2017 at 6:21 pm

      Levy will be gleeful indeed. 🙂

      I believe that Levy will also choose to sell Walker within the Prem to a competing squad. He will bring a lot more as a homegrown and International within the Prem than he will on the Continent.

      • SeattleSpursGuy May 9, 2017 at 6:23 pm

        I agree with that assessment, unfortunately.

        • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 6:28 pm

          I think we all probably know which club have turned his head..

          • SeattleSpursGuy May 9, 2017 at 6:33 pm

            Sheffield United ladies?

          • MiT May 9, 2017 at 6:50 pm

            Which do you suspect ?

            I see him replacing 32 yr old Zabaleta at City, and putting an interesting twist on Sagna’s expiring contract with them.

            • Gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 7:00 pm

              And they are rumoured to be ready to spend a stupid amount of money for English players. Rumours of a budget of 200 million for Pep. Bet he spends it all on Neymar.

  • Freünd or Foe May 9, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    If he’s handed in a transfer request then fuck him. Get as much money as possible, preferably to a club abroad. If he hasn’t I take it all back.

    • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 6:06 pm

      What, the money?!

      • Freünd or Foe May 9, 2017 at 6:07 pm

        Blinding idea.

        • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 6:09 pm

          Thanks, it came to me whilst walking into a lamp post.

        • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 6:11 pm

          Poke in the eye with sharp stick – Another blinding idea.

  • Lord Croker May 9, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Parts unknown known as stamford friddelidge.

  • Aussie in Switzerland May 9, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    Someone had a go at me when I dared to repeat the rumour about 10 blogs ago……he is shit at Wembley, so probably for the best

    • A waddle and a fork May 9, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      That was Harry

  • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 5:57 pm

  • MiT May 9, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Walker is ready to quietly move on. He inquired about his position in reference to another contract, and was told that he would be sharing time for the foreseeable future. Walker has justifiably been S11 for a long time. He simply figures that if he is to share time, he can do that for more pay in a less thrifty environment.

    He will not make noise, and he is on very good terms with Poch, and with his teammates. It is a personal decision that both parties understand completely.

    Happy for Trippier. He will need a good backup to push him and to relieve him. This squad asks a LOT of their fullbacks.

    • gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 5:57 pm

      Well Walker-Peters is supposed to be hot stuff as a young right back. Possibly Poch will blood him next season.. But I have yet to see him. He didn’t play last Thursday in the Premier League Two match against Leicester and I was hoping he would.

      • MiT May 9, 2017 at 6:14 pm

        I have not watched KWP in almost a year. He had a lot to learn defensively at last watching opportunities. Hopefully he has progressed well since. Great in offensive support.

  • gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    I assume Walker’s agent has been a busy boy or girl. I suppose Walker’s age he could borrow the speech from Sol Campbell and before him Teddy Sheringham, about leaving because he is wanting to win stuff before he goes past his best before date.

    And Levy must be excited as he can pull out his villain costume and play hardball again this summer.

    As if

    ?p=0

  • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    Has he actually put in a transfer request? Or is he being a greedy brain cell, making Spurs pay up the remainder of his contract? If so make the cnut rot in the reserves!

    • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      Why not make him rot in the reserves ‘just in case’ he wants to leave? In fact, why not let ’em all rot in reserves?

      • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 5:59 pm

        Only if he doesn’t put in a transfer request, simples.

    • gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 5:54 pm

      No one wants anyone to go, Sissy excepted, but he actually hasn’t arrived as far as I can tell.

      But if there was a first team player who had to be sold, it would be Walker for me. On the proviso that Poch gets to spend all the cash on his first choices.

      • Caspurs♿️ May 9, 2017 at 6:11 pm

        Poch would still have to sign a player willing to earn 100k or less a week.

    • caveman May 9, 2017 at 5:56 pm

      There’s nothing in Newsnow about this so is H just winding this thing up a notch because it’s a slow day. If it’s true that he has put in a request I’d have no problem parting company with him.

      • gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 6:04 pm

        Agreed. Also, it is possible that if Lamela stays, he could play in this wide right wing back position with three at the back, as an option to rotate with Trippier. It seems there are more options in that role.

        • MiT May 9, 2017 at 6:11 pm

          Heehee… That is a glut of cards and dangerous free kicks just waiting to happen. Lamela does not have the temperament to play in a defensive position. Added to that, he is a thread-the-needle type much more than a crossing type.

          Spurs need Lamela as a front 4 option. They currently have very few.

          • MiT May 9, 2017 at 6:16 pm

            A HEALTHY Lamela, that is.

      • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 6:04 pm

        The Boy would NEVER do that.

      • Harry Hotspur May 9, 2017 at 6:08 pm

        You keep clicking on HITC and eventually they’ll catch up.

        There’s at least 3 more bursts of ITK due out later today.

  • Sid Trotter May 9, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    Someone hid his duck! That’s reason enough. Nice seeing you go Bonzo. Don’t forget to wipe your feet outside

  • gloster1861 May 9, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    Hello. Anyone there?

    • Spurstacus 💋 May 9, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      Where? I was there earlier. No I’m here.

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