A point at The Ehithad and still he moans.
Anyone would think we hadn’t won and failed to show the world that THIS smash n’ grab attempt was a serious one.
Hugo Lloris 0. He’s our captain and we are relentlessly reminded that’s magic. He’s not magic. He’s hit and miss. If he were a magician, he would occasionally saw his beautiful assistant in half – for real. Blood, guts, screaming, live disemboweled dolly bird and all the associated trimmings.
Hugo simply cannot continue to deliver these Russian Roulette performances. I’d bench the living daylights out of him, I bench him until he’d forgotten what I was benching him for.
Janssen fails to do his job and the man’s branded a jackass. Llloris sabotages us and what, we keep it buttoned because we’re scared he might leave? Dear oh dear.
My kingdom for a Bonzo 4. Walker’s heart is in the right place. Unfortunately, his brain is far closer to his prostrate than is biologically sound.
Toby 7. Godspeed his safe return. We’re crippled without him n’ Verts.
Wimmer 5. Difficult to give him gyp when his job description says ‘professional stand-in’.
Rose 4. Regrettably another distracted, and generally flustered Lilywhite performance.
Wanyama 7. He must have seriously wondered what on earth got into the rest of them.
Mousa 5. THFC are launching a Mousa Dembele action figure. It features a switch on the back of his neck so you can alternate between the two modes. ‘Derring Do’ and ‘Predictably Sluggish’.
Dele 4. Yet another utterly substandard showing. Great goal, but he’s close to doing naff all else.
Eriksen 4. Yet another game that passed him by. Not so much metronomic, as moronic. We can’t afford to carry passengers. We’re looking for consistency. Not good enough.
Kane 4. These 3 clowns out to hand their weeks’ wages to charity. Again, Janssen would be quartered, dissected and fed to the hounds is he served up such a non event of a game.
Son 5. Thanks for the goal mate, but it’s games like these where we need a dash of tactical flair. Instead we get have a go Heung.
