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Analysis To Grind The Gears

By The Boy -

I was listening to the Manchester United game in the car yesterday and was trying to put my finger on why it felt like I was listening to a historic moment. After all, it wasn’t really. Not really. But it was symptomatic of a decline that looks likelier to last a season or two than just a fortnight.

And then it struck me. I’ve been banging on about perspective. So let me share mine. In the ’70’s you went to Anfield and you got beaten. At The Lane it was usually the same story. In the 80’s you went to Highbury to get drubbed. At The Lane it was usually the same story. In the 90’s and 2000’s…it was Man United that routinely did you over.

We’re heading into an interesting era. 4 years into the second decade of the century and it isn’t obvious who’ll be the dominant side. It’s far from obvious. United do not look remotely as if they can sustain Slur Alex’s legacy. I could be doing Moyes a terrible disservice, but his appointment looks like a cracking example where the second best man for the job, simply isn’t good enough.

So to André’s seemingly daily battle for to be viewed with some perspective.

The football isn’t particularly inspiring. Most of our attacking players appear to be suffering from a nasty bout of Finalthirdaphobia. There are significant question marks over the inverted wingers thing and if we don’t buy an “off the shelf, plug in and play” left back next month, then we’re fools.

Sunderland were poor. I hadn’t realised quite how poor they had become. Our performance, if you viewed it in objective isolation, you’d describe as far less poor than theirs. Faint praise indeed; but had we played someone good, we’d have been stuffed with less affection than a £20 rent boy.

However, the result goes a huge way to heal the horrific, near terminal wound of the City defeat. 6 points from 2 traditionally, less than straightforward away games. Whilst the football has a way to go, the pleasing feature is the determination and the character. And when you’re coming back off of the pavement in a fight, it’s the will to win that is frequently the decider.

Michael Dawson’s post match interview on Sky told us a hell of a lot. It told us about the solidarity and the resolve. It told us that the parasites are losing the fight. Dawson wasn’t fielded a solitary question that wasn’t constructed to undermine, or diminish what the lads are trying to do. As my old man would say. “He kept a straight bat.”

“Micheal, Jamie Redknapp. Congratulations…” 4 words that immediately alert you to the fact that someone’s about to try and piss in your pocket.

And so to the performance. Social media is a mistake on match days. In fact the Internet is a close second in the no go stakes. The vehement responses to AVB’s picks are painful. Outrage for outrage’s sake, devoid of intelligence or wit. But then I guess “I haven’t been privy to any of the club’s training sessions this week, and I’m also out of the loop on injuries” lacks the desired, venomous, piercing punch.

Our friend Jamie Redknapp nearly dislocated his sphincter upon the news that Capoue was stepping in to take up a centre back role. Like those hateful kids at school who would simply die if they didn’t get to be the first to blurt out an utterly forgetful answer to an utterly forgetful question, their hand straining to touch the classroom ceiling.

“That’s a role he didn’t like at Toulouse…” warned Jamie. For a nanosecond I forgot that the Marks and Sparks poster boy was an accredited expert of the tactical machinations of French football. Then I shouted “Fakin eunuch!” at the TV. I’d let myself down.

Then Capoue had a good game, then I thought, I’m sure Jamie updated his index.

Hugo had a wobble and Glenda Hoddle revealed that he hasn’t entirely managed to shake off his Eileen Drewery touch. There were signs, Glenda pronounced, that Hugo hadn’t been the same since getting knocked.

Is your name Glenda, am I right?  The spirits are with me now. They’re telling me …about.. ‘botox injections, a home solarium …I’m getting the word… …ponce.”

So Hugo had a moment. Goalkeepers do. He punched the ball, but he barely clipped it. Is anyone sane really suggesting he saw more than one ball? Give it up. It happens.

Bonzo, or Mr Kyle Walker as I should well call him, if I wasn’t such a substandard toerag; had a really excellent game. That’s one and half excellent games in a row. Fair play to him. The defending has improved. AVB spoke many moons ago about embedding /indoctrinating players with the correct responses to specific situations. A penny may have dropped. Bless all concerned for it. More please.

The Bonzo/Azza Blud thang might have legs. It’s certainly the kernel of a good plan. André. I said, it’s the kernel of a good idea, André. Looked good.

Dawson was another one who mentally had me making that beeping noise vans do when they reverse. He really was rather good. Important blocks decent passing and you got a real sense he that he was on top of things. Naughton also had what was probably his best game ever in the shirt. Now I’m beginning to get little nags about how poor Sunderland were. But that’s a rubbish way to assess a game. We were playing Sunderland. So that’s the benchmark.

Mousa was close to imperious. A physical and mental menace. That hip of his is a time bomb.

Fritz was a delight. The passion Lewis Holtby brings to every performance is infectious. All he wants to do, is do things that will help us win. A simple mission statement for a simple game. Not everything comes off, but with Holtby you get half chances, you get chances, you get a willingness to create space.

I love his off the ball activity. I have done from his first performance. Clever players are thinking to themselves, what would I do, if I got the ball now? Holtby is always looking to make himself available, always looking to facilitate the next move. We must keep him, nurture him, and watch him grow into the commanding player he undoubtedly will be.

Sandro was so so. Chadli like Capoue had a solid enough game. Paulinho also looked good. Got his goal, which made a refreshing change. He’s a tireless character. He disrupted more or less all of any midfield plans the other lot might have had.

Azza was considerably better yesterday than he has been for a while. I’d love to see Bonzo behind him, Lamela ahead of him. If he can create more performances like this, where he melds his defensive and attacking attributes, and master them, then he will force AVB to play Townsend on the left.

At this point, I’d like to assure readers that I have neither suffered a stroke or had Tom & Jerry drop a piano on my head. But Defoe, if you remove his singular inability to score from the equation, had a decent game. Let me be clear, I would prefer it if he retired and went to live on island somewhere, but that wasn’t his worst performance in the Lilywhite. It’s important that I’m honest.

Yes it was only Sunderland. Before that it was only Fulham. Before that, it was only Manchester United. Next Sunday, it’s only Liverpool. It’s enough to grind the gears of any true moaning Minnie.

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