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The Excuse Makers, Apologists and Flat-Earthers are in clover.

No matter how uninspiring Tottenham have become their defence lines are unassailable.

We’ve the youngest team in the English speaking world, we have had the unparalleled foresight to build a modern training facility.

Despite the very best attempts of some money grabbing local scum have managed to go from concept to build on a new stadium in less than ten years.

Not only this, but Spurs are unbeaten in the league and the only team in England to have already played at Wembley …and it’s only October.

And beyond the walls of LaLa Land, the rest of the world doesn’t start their day with a Yard Of Port™, here are some player ratings.

Hugo is without doubt one of the best goalkeepers in the world. It’s bizarre then that he regularly involves himself in some seriously harebrained ‘to me, to you,’ type situations.

Speaking of which, did anyone else catch that moment when Bonzo was sharing his tactical insights with Eriksen? Thank Christ the ink on that new contract is dry.

Dier was alright, a Steady Eddie. Danny Rose was also okay.

Verts was better.

Wanyama was a leading light yet again with a passing accuracy that hit 91%, I have nothing but respect for our players that are able to pass accurately to each other.

Only Mousa managed to edge Victor with a bustling and ballsy performance.

Lamela certainly lead the charge and very nearly scored. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm was not matched by his brain.

I guess with everyone else being in a coma, leaving the boy on as we came out for the second half made sense to Poch.

How Dele managed to stay on until the 72nd minute was equally puzzling to the casual observer. He’s trying, very trying. Doesn’t achieve anything, but he’s trying.

What took the good out of his subbing was replacing him with the waste of flesh that is Sissoko.

It was a completely unnecessary piece of thuggery and sincerely hope there’s a retrospective ban heading his way.

Eriksen simply didn’t do enough, and it took him until half time before really began to join in.  Son‘s contribution is best described as ineffectual.

The graph below from Squawka reveals how nonexistent our creative fulcrum was. Why we were incapable of even worrying Bournemouth.

So what was it this week? A parked bus, a world beating 90 minutes from a goalkeeper? Oh no, this week it was their coach being a tactical mastermind.

Poch desperately needs to tell them to stop overthinking it and play some football.

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