Good afternoon. I’m Uncle Harry, your children’s party entertainer this afternoon and may start off by punching an orphan in face whilst working out how I can get out of here and straight into the nearest juicer, in an ideal world with some half desperate mother in tow for a bit of an ‘encore’ with a balloon animal.
On a serious note, as per my recent post on the plight of Paul Gascoigne, it is so good to see that Paul has been kidnapped by Guardian angels and taken off to the USA to embark upon some treatment that could save his life. I know it’s down to him, I’ve heard all that, but nevertheless, this is a real chance to give a man that gave ‘us’ all so much another chance.
Of course, it will be said that there are people all over the world in similar or worse conditions. And who is helping them? The answer is of course, ‘probably nobody’. I walked past a man this morning at about 0945hrs; he looked to be in his what early 60′s? He was putting an empty bottle of white wine in a dustbin outside Leeds Market. I had half seen him slurp the dregs and put the bottle against a wall seconds before, he decided to keep Britain tidy.
In the snapshot moment of passing him I’d say if you deloused him, gave him a haircut, a shave and some proper clothes he might have only lost at least a decade. So yes this Gazza business is artificial because he was a very likable, talented footballer. Nobody’s going to fly trampy Yorkshireman to the USA. He’s essentially a skidmark on the underpants of society. He survived this winter. That’s all I can conclusively share with you about him.
What people need to do is vote to look after the NHS. I mean properly look after it. Understand that whilst it will benefit from some business acumen, it ain’t a very good business. It loses money and that’s the deal. If you don’t embrace that deal and work with it, opposed to against it them you’re working against the very principles of humanity.
I got called a few names over my response to the Muamba business. His decision to thank his made up friend for saving his life didn’t bug me that much. It was more about witnessing in what felt like an unrelenting slo mo all the vicariously grief junkies hopping onto to the ‘I care’ bandwagon.
If you really, truly care, vote to ensure that the funding of the buildings full of scientists such as those who rescued poor Fabrice are not only supported, but enhanced so we can do our up most to …protect this species. You can shove your utterly worthless hashtag up your collective bottoms.
The plan of the Stand For Gazza campaign is that on the 8th minute, at the next Tottenham, Rangers, Newcastle Utd, Middlesbrough, Lazio and Everton games, for a there to be a round of applause. I’d rather not. Leave football out of it. Let me watch a game without somebody hijacking some element of it, just for once. Please. If you want to help and are like the bulk of us skint, then vote. If you’re rolling in it, make a fabulous donation to the appropriate people.
Get well Paul. But you, of all people won’t be offended if I stay seated while you crack on, son.