Guten abend.
We haven’t had one of these yet this year so I thought what the flippin’ heck? And so here she is. What was on that slip of paper? What? From the SEO monkeys at The Daily Mail we got:
After Emmanuel Adebayor had scored his first goal since November, Tottenham manager Andre Villas-Boas handed him a slip of paper. The striker glanced at it and promptly put it in his right sock. It might well have rea
‘Please stay.
But these are the very same charmless nurks that mooted Andy Carroll could join us in January despite the fact that this would have breached a pretty significant FIFA ruling on players only being allowed to play for two clubs in one season. Mind you, that’s almost a high point from an organization that has been historically even more right wing than Prince Phillip.
Best caption wins the kind of rough love that even the most butch and bi-curious among you might only dream about. As if you were entering the world’s most vigorously open minded Vietnamese bang bang sailor bar in the known world armed only with an American Express Centurion card, an inflatable Holly Willoughby (with real hair) and a pocket full of microwavable rice.
What? What?
Ade stick that in your sock for me sharpish.
Here’s your stamped loyalty card. Score 5 more goals and get a free hot beverage of your choice.
Eggs (free range)
Milk
Four Pack of Stella
Loaf of Bread (sliced-wholemeal)
Tin of Spam
2 bars of Double Decker
-and i want change!
‘There’s your tickets to Togo – and by the way, they’re only one-way’!
Here’s your p45 ade , now f**k off
QPRHAHAHAHAWHATTHAFUCK!
run around a bit and score some f****** goals
worked for Pav
We’ll still be 3rd after tomorrow
AVB: Wipe your bum Ade, it looks like you’ve poohed your pants.
Can you have your dad bring my elephant around the front after the game please.
Ouch!! And make sure its clean….you are offall, but I like you.
AVB: Score again and Ill make it a tenner.
AVB: Message from Razspur- We’ve just gone 2-1 up you were the scorer.
You just scored a double pick you up at. 10 tonight big boy.
You’re playing the single striker role against Coventry.
Anyone heard the rumors benny wants out and AVBs left him out even though his fit to play?
If so baines would be a good shout what a goal tonite
Failed drug test,I’ve heard
this one is blank if you score again it’ll have the queen’s head on it thats how players earn their money by scoring f…king goals hehe
Take this down to Ladbrokes and get the best odds you can on Chelsea 0 QPR 1 with SWP scoring the goal.
Not too keen on the prize and last time I looked, Holly did not need inflating.
You owe me a tenner, I had Defoe to score next
I still prefer defoe
The European Chumps 0-1 The Worst Team in the Premier League. What a result.
AVB: “Can you help me with my crossword I can’t get 3 down?”
Paper reads: ‘Clue for 3 down: Rafa Benitez we want you to…’ ‘S_A_’.
here this is the bit of paper that deflected the ball into the net.you didn’t think that you actually score a goal did you ?
The note said ‘put this in your right sock’.
dont go to the ACN you dont want a repeat of last time
Use this someones used up all the shit roll
Abramovich, Roman. 5ft 10 inches, siberian. Make it look like suicide, leave new will leaving all funds to mr d levy, tottenham england on corpse. £2000 on completion to be collected from usual pub car park.
why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Andre x
I heard you use the same barber as Walker – hear, I know a good lawyer
The note said – find the right back – names walker – we saw him earlier in the game when we started
Here’s some bog roll, now pinch off that turd hanging from your arse
Now you have fulfilled your part of the bargain and put one of your chances away, i fulfill mine.
You will find tibby the cat, tied up in a derelict warehouse in bethnal green at the location below. But beware it is sceduled for detonation in the morning.
It said ‘Stop fucking about doing a bad Peter Crouch impression FFS!’
Don’t give it back to Hugo, he doesn’t like it. Pass it on.
Here’s my dry cleaning receipt. It’s just for one lucky navy blue rain coat.
Here is the diagram showing you how to score another goal. You can wipe your arse with the 1st one.
I’m not not talking to you. I’m conserving energy.
“Ade, why did you leave this I Love You Gaffer note on my desk?” I’m still getting a striker in this window you know.
AVB: Here’s your new revised contract Ade.
AVB’s saying,Here’s a note from some one called Big Ron
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Ade. Dogs do that. You’re not a dog, are ya Ade?
“Dear Jason Euell,
Great goa, keep it up!”
Not only did AVB pick up Sir Bobby’s wealth of football knowledge but also his casual racism.
“Dear Jason Euell,
Great goal, keep it up!”
Not only did AVB pick up Sir Bobby’s wealth of football knowledge but also his casual racism.
Many a joke ruined by bad spelling :(
Maybe it was a plane ticket to South Africa?-one way
Your mum called. She wants you to pick up your Dad at the elephant wash right after the game.
HR wants to meet with you down at Loftus Road asap. I’ve already packed your things.
Chapter One of “Controlling a Football for Dummies.”
Read this. Great Daily Mail article about Andy Carroll joining us in January. Keep banging em in, son.
Heres Mrs.Redschnapps’ number, call her she knows how to score goals
‘ harry hotspur thinks you’re great, now convince the other fans ‘
I’ve drawn a diagram of how you did it………keep it safe for next time
I’m not kidding……….look…….I got 200/1 odds for you as anytime goal scorer
Note reads:
“I was wrong. Sorry”.
Andre
X
Here Ade it’s Sylvie Van Der Vaarts Telephone Number, she’s a free agent now since last night. 0208 880 4047
“I have a problem,I already have a contract in my left sock and its impeding me”
The note said: Even J*** scores more goals… And now he’s back!!!
2 days gone in the Transfer Window and we haven’t been linked with Joe Cole yet, although someone has, what’s occurring Andre.
It’s because he’s off to WessssTaymmm-after Liverpool gave him a 3m Golden fuck off-thanks Mr Levy, that couldn’ve been us
note read ” Im sending you too the cup of nations” what you did not see off camera was the second note going too Steffen Freund reading ” Arrange the gunman Ade will be on the bus… Tell them too do the job properly this time”
What a fucking diabolical post.
Yes, but he keeps hitting it…….
Officer Wolman to isle 3 please. We got a blogger that needs a ticking off.
:P olice:
If you think that acceptable maybe you need a moral compass more than a poliiceman
sorry only said what everyone is thinking! maybe i should just think it like everyone else!
and judging from ur pic you will want too stay as far away from the police as you can jimmy!
NOTE; Hope this doesn’t spoil your game Ade (sarcasm) but we’ve just been told that your dad has been crushed to death at work in a terrible accident and believe it or not, but totally unrelated so has your mum. : (
How did the mum get cru…..Oh I get it. Nice
“Oi…Ade!… See that hot chick over there with the pony tail that keeps waving her flag to get my attention every time you F..ing go forward, give this to her, its my phone number… tell her I am a person of immense proportions. That should distract her long enough for you to sneak another goal.”
AVB: In this envelope are the names of 3 players I expect to let me down this season.
Who’s the other two?
AVB: Great goal. Sign this new contract…see the line…at the foot of the page!
Ade: Errrr….foot, boss? Errr…..ok.
no worries on how to fill rvp and ratboy hole we are getting a loanee from forest real soon.
:Censored:
Andre: Great goal, Ade. I wrote you a poem–
There once was a striker from Togo
Who was more often than not a no show
If you keep playing like crap
You’re off to Redknapp.
Let’s see a little more mojo.
‘ So,lets see more of your mojo’ scans better-but brilliant CinYid
Winner – Right there
The note simply said -
“If you want to go to the ACN we will not hold you back. All the best Daniel, Andre, Benzema xxx”
BOOM now that’s what I call a callback. Retro 2012 ave it
The note says your next mystery flight is to Damascus and it is free
the news that Jxxxs is back makes me want to vom….
enough to make me become active after being a reader for years – keep up the tacky good work HH and COYFS.
It was a warning about entering the field of play when the games in progress
NEWSFLASH…..NEWSFLASH…….About 21.45 hysterical laughter broke out all over the London area, some reports are saying this hysteria could be heard as far away as Manchester………
…….. Experts are bemused as to the cause of this outbreak….more to follow!
“Aey Adeybayourie giva ziss note toa Midget Gem”
‘Pare de ser um ganancioso twat!
Togo or not To Go… that is my question
My memory is really going. For years I associated Elvis’s “The Girl Of My Best Friend” with us winning The Double. Wasn’t even the right year.
BC,I just about recall the King kicking the bucket-if it’s not football or European history-it doesn’t stick in my mind-it works well when I give my wife those ‘vague’ looks we bloke’s give them, and don’t pretend you don’t what I mean?
Only my Staffordshire Bull Bess understands me. I could be on the planet Zagon as far as my wife interacts with me when I talk about football. Incidently I always associate Adam Ants “Stand And Deliver” with our 3-2 win over Citeh in 1981.
I actually got married that year-and it’s’ Don’t you want me baby?’-unfortunately for me-she did! (Millwall supporter)
Oh, and my boy’s agree wholeheartedly about our prospects this season
Pick up some Ivory polish and trunk shampoo on your way back. Love, Dad
And some Elephant dung its nicer then Goldblend
Ade the hairdressers called. They said they dont offer refunds only credit notes. Here you go…
PTO
He did and it read TWITCHY OUT
Yes, but now I’m facing the radiator.
From harry kane”im coming for your position useless twat”
Ade getting fit for Afcon,should bring Kane back,has to be an improvement.
smoke much crack?
Try not to look alarmed but Jenas is coming back! Pass it on and tell them not to panick
*****
Fair point
AVB is saying “There you are, there’s you bonus, now will you keep trying.”
Te paper reads, cheque attached.
‘thought you’d want to know 1st… Daniel has just okayed 16m for David Villa… so welcome him like you did Saha when the Toon came over… go on, a hat-trick for starters’
“Heres a fiver,Ade,please stay in the box”
Throw the game,LLL wants to say I told you so
I have in my hands the names of the three people who will let us down this season. Could you stick it in your sock, Jake keeps peering over my shoulder and I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
“It took me about 3 minutes on the internet last night to come up with this list of names, which kept coming up continually. Have that piece of paper. You know the names on that piece of paper. Francis Jeffers, Marouanne Chamakh, Nicklas Bendtner, Olivier Giroud… Will you be speaking to those people?”
Tell the lads not to score more than three goals. From Stu via Andre…..
Gaffer this sock is giving me blisters
“Another goal like that and I’ll let you spank my arse and call me Jose”
X
Gervinho called. He wants his haircut back.
Smile and the whole world smiles with you
Not actually a note actually if you look closely, but the lesser known twin of the nose strip, the penile strip, to control exitement upon scoring with a header for the first time in ages. (Sorry – moderate at your wish).
Needless to say, Ade wasn’t too exited…
And thats actually rather too many actuallys, but you get the point
Just signed Fryers from Standard Leige. A bit naughty but too bad we screwed ManU over on the fee.
Yeah, it’s awful isn’t it.
Are we being too cynical ?
Great news and very shrewd too.
Won’t do much for Siralex blood pressure
Is he any good?
Dunno…The word on the street from the Mancs is mixed I believe.
The word on the street around my neck of the woods usually revolve aound, ‘fancy a bit of business, darlin?’ & ‘give me your wallet or i’ll carve you up’.
ManU wanted to keep him, so must be half decent. Was regarded as an understudy to Evra but got fed up with waiting.
He went AWOL in the Summer and SirAlex was not best pleased.
He has started 7 games for Leige. Plays LB or as a central defender.
Just been reading u on him,he’s very fast,AVB type I think
Bit odd that he goes into our ‘development squad’ – surely that’s a bit like where he was at Utd?
What’s our development squad?
Yoof team, more or less. Means he’ll be training with Coulibaly and all them guys.
He left Manure for money more than game time.
He thought he was worth more than he was being offered and I guess we do too.
Fits the bill… skillful, athletic and tough.
Levy shady deal written all over this one,have Tottenham and Liege got some kind of Jewish masonic thing going on?
Don’t know about that but it was almost certainly a fix-up to avoid the compo we would have had to pay. A couple of people even predicted as much when he signed with Liege. Don’t think there’s much love lost between Levy and Utd so he probably enjoyed it too.
Hope so
Illuminati
I thought we had some kind of arrangement or tie up with Leige.
If that is the case, probably explains why a few thought he was coming to us even after he signed for them in the Summer.
From what I can recall, if he went from ManU to a British club, ManU were entitled to up to £6 million. If he went abroad, they got nothing. Wonder how much we will pay Leige for him ?
As someone else said, looks like Levy has stitched ManU up good and proper.
Yeah, i said that, lower down this blog at 9.08 p.m.
Keep up Dave, me ol mucker!
Sorry Billy, should have read all the posts before putting my one on.
Anyway, looks like a nice piece of work by the club.
Levy 1
Glazers 0
bilderbergs
roses are red
violets are blue
some poems rhyme
and some dont
Poetry in motion spoz. I used to date a girl from the east end. She was a cockney rhyming slag
And Levy equalizes with an absolute cracker!
If Ezekiel Fryers, puts on weight, and goes deep-sea diving; will he be: Deep fat Fryers?
Boom Boom
If he moves up t’north and bys a flat cap and a blak pudding will he be called Zeky Thump?
Surely for that honour he will need a pair of clogs too?
And a spinning dicky bow.
Alls well when THFC get one over Sir Red Nose. But what is the implication for lower league clubs who rely on the development of young talent to survive?
Not very good.
Fukem
You kind, caring, compassionate man, you……..
Ezekiel Fryers, eehh, Wow, wuhuu..??
Here’s your Oyster card….ask the nice bus driver on the 279 to put you off at Finsbury Park…and don’t come back!
I wonder what Standard gets for keeping Fryers warm for 6 months?
Former Manchester United youngster, Zeki Fryers, has finally got his move to Tottenham Hotspur after the youngster signed for Standard Liege in the summer.
Spurs had been Fryers’ first choice destination after he had rejected a contract from his boyhood club, where reports suggested he had been offered as much as £20k-a-week, in stark contrast to the apparent £2k-a-week United offered. However, United were demanding £6m for him and Spurs were not prepared to pay it.
“United offered a three-year contract but I rejected the offer,” Fryers told FourFourTwo last month. “Spurs were interested but the fee [that United requested] was too much. Then Standard Liege arrived with a good opportunity for me to play regular games and get experience.”
Had Fryers moved to an English club a tribunal would have decided how much United were owed for developing him as a youngster. In contrast, as Fryers moved aborad, the fee the Belgian club had to pay was minimal.
It begs the question whether Spurs came to an agreement with Standard Liege in the summer to ensure they got the player at a cut down price during the January transfer window. The transfer fee Spurs have reportedly paid is £3m, half as much as United originally quoted, which also gives Standard Liege a tidy profit.
A statement on the Tottenham website read: “We are delighted to announce that we have reached agreement with Standard Liege for the signing of Zeki Fryers. The young defender, capped by England at Under-16, 17 and 19 level, began his career at Manchester United before joining Standard Liege last summer. Zeki will link up with the Club’s Development Squad.”
Fakinel, we’ve stiched ManU up like a kipper!
Take this note, I’ll take you off three minutes early and you can run down to the DryCleaners and pick up me suit before they close, Cushtee !
you scored but you are still sh*t !
here’s a photo of the goal at the other end of the pitch – try to score in it next time
I cant believe he is comparing him to Haynes but more about that he has the status and presence of a Haynes for Fulham as there havent been too many top notch stars there
I have an uncle who is a foolem fan and he reckons that Berbatov is like having Johnny Haynes back in the team.I never saw him but remember reading the reports of games back then. I thought he was more of a midfielder ? Anyone see him play ? is my uncle correct in this?
/
I saw Haynes. It wasnt like today because there wasnt the same coiverage as there is now and so I mostly saw him when they played us.I just remembered him being talented.He was more of a winger.
Berbatov to me always had many talents.That of Gilzean in being a great header of the ball,in Greaves as he has a sense about the goal and can shoot quickly (is instinctive) and can be a playmaker too. Berbatov can go into a depression at times.Gilzean,Greaves and Co never really did that. But he also can be great.I always though BVerbatov should be playing in Spain or somewhere where he would be a god.
I always thought Berba to be more of a Gilly player myself. except no one will surpass what Gilly could do with his head.
When the fuck does the contract of that toilet fuck Jenas expire ?
Nobby must have a royal flush
Walker must be over the moon now that Jenas is back.
ha
News has reached London that Harry Hotspur has dissappeared.Its understood that he had flown off to a secret location in search of stories of targets that couldnt be found in our own land. Playmakers have no place in the United Kingdom.They have to be hatched somewhere near the mediterranean and it seems Harry has gone off in search of one.
Or not.
Either way we hope that someone would stick a picture of Tony Hancock or someone up and write a few obtuse innuendos about a person with a scar seen near a car with Lisbon plates who uttered some incoherent nonsense about one of three possible targets.
It might be,could be,who knows but something please before we all go to sleep.
‘Tottenham Hotspur have completed a £3 million deal for Zeki Fryers in a move that could infuriate Manchester United’. (Daily Torygraph).
Ahh, that’s a shame.
Fukem
any live streaming clues for tomorrow’s FA Cup game vs Coventry ?
Revenge is a dish best served cold…it will be cold COYS